An Alien's Humor
by TwilightPakRat
Summary: I don't know if I imagined it but I believe I heard a little chuckle coming from the handsome stranger. Yes! Score! Ten points for Gryffindor! Funny Fic, not to be dealt with seriously. OOC, AU, AH Canon pairings
1. Remembrance

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_**Prologue**_

_I tell you this, not to brag about my life (which was spectacular) but to let you know that anything is possible. Anything in your wildest imagination. I should know. I'm in a wonderland right now. Before I start my journey, I should warn you; this is not a depressing story. So, if you're looking for a psychopathic killer or a bunch of angst, move onto someone else. I had a great life filled with fun and sunshine and love but that's all due to my family. My _true_ family. This is my story, because of them._

**1. Remembrance**

I suppose my story goes back to my fourteenth birthday. That's when my life truly began. Renee was the only parent I had ever known and I was an only child…or so I thought. It was on this day that my mom had forgotten my birthday…again. I was a loner at school, aside from Jacob Black and James Tracker. They were the only ones who talked to me. My mom had recently met Phil who would be my stepfather in two days. Talk about rushing into marriage. I vowed never to do that.

Renee loved me, but she just didn't want to be a mother. She set a few strict rules for me to follow, which she thought proved she was a worthy care-taker. That was why Jake and Jimmy couldn't come over for my birthday; no boys allowed.

Renee had forgotten my birthdays more and more often as I grew, so I was used to it and thought it ridiculous when anyone remembered my birthday and gave me presents. I didn't deserve them.

Somehow, Renee's neglect didn't get to me much, aside from the whole present thing. We did love each other, but we were distant. I grew independent and somehow I could make people laugh. If my life were _Friends,_ just call me Chandler. I'd go to the nursing home and tell jokes to the elderly. Putting on the last few smiles before they moved on.

When I wasn't spreading happiness, I took up my three passions. Art, singing, and reading. They became my life.

It was on September 13th of 2005 that things came into perspective. I snuck onto the roof on my birthday to gaze at the moon and stars. They were always there. A source of home since I'd had none at the time.

It was past midnight when my mom pulled into the driveway. That was my cue to leave, for I knew she wouldn't want me up here. Once I got safely inside the attic, I noticed the moonlight cast a stream onto a box. A large rectangular green one, that easily blended into the shadows. Must have been why I'd never seen it before.

I could hear Renee bustling around the kitchen, not paying attention to me, and I took advantage of that.

Curiosity coursed through me and I opened up the box…

Pictures of myself I had never seen before and ones with people just as recognizable were the box's occupants. A newspaper clipping was at the bottom. _Amnesia in Washington _was across the top with a picture of a horrendous car chewed to bits.

Reading the first few lines was when it all hit me. The memories and the tears.

_I_ had been in that accident. _I_ had gotten the amnesia and after all these years, I was remembering again. Renee had been leaving my father, (What was his name? Charles, Charlie? Chucky! That was it.) barreling down the highway along with me. For whatever reason, she had decided to bring me, which turned out horribly wrong. She hadn't been watching where she was going and BAM! I'm gone. Somehow, I had remembered _her_, but not the most important person to me at the time. My brother. Aww Emmett! Emmybear! He would've been six when this all happened for I was four at the time. And OH MY GOD! He would still remember me!

As I lay there, sobs wracking through my body, I vaguely heard footsteps getting increasingly louder. And suddenly Renee was there.

"Well you know," she said as though expecting this. "I guess my work here is done. You'll probably want to call Emmett tomorrow, huh?"

Clenching my teeth, I suppressed my rage. She acted so flippantly. So…_Renee_. But I reminded myself that she wasn't a good mother. She didn't know how much it'd mean to me.

"That'd be nice," I said tightly, controlled.

"Mm-kay! Go to bed when you feel. I think I'm going out, so be ready for school tomorrow. You'll have to call information for Emmett's number but-"

"Renee, why did you take me?" I interrupted. She grew quiet and when I turned to face her, she actually looked…guilty! Wow! There's a first.

"Emmett was at a friend's house. I would've taken him." I stared at her blankly, not that surprised.

"I'm glad he wasn't there," I told her. "He would've gotten hurt."

"Yeah." She grew uncomfortable, then, without much else, she left.

Though I loved school, I skipped the next day. Renee wouldn't know (she was still out) and something told me she wouldn't care much either. I just had to recuperate.

At seven that night, I called my brother for the first time.

"_Yello!_" Emmet's deep voice rang out.

"Hi uhh Emmy-bear? Can you guess who it is?" He gasped

"_Bellsey! Oh my God! I've been waiting so long to hear your voice._"

"Yeah I-" I had to swallow back the tears a little. "I just remembered… Why didn't you ever call me?"

_"Mom said to let you figure it out…to be patient. I had to respect that._"

"Yeah. Where's Chucky?"

_"Dad…he left about a week ago._"

"He left you?"

"_Yeah. Forks is small so everyone kinda takes care of me. And I'm grown, I can handle myself_."

"Where'd he go?"

"_Beats me. Just left a note saying goodbye. It's OK. Chucky didn't care._"

"Some parents we have, huh?"

"_Where's your Mom?_"

"Renee is out gallivanting with some guy."

"_Nice._" It was silent for a moment. Then, "_I missed you Bellsey._" It was spoken in a whisper.

The tears broke free then and I sobbed convulsively. "I missed you, too, Emmybear…I'm sorry I forgot."

"_S'not _your_ fault!_"

"Yeah."

And since then, Emmet and I talked. Over the summer, he came and stayed with me, where he met Jake and James.

Well, after he left was when Jake started expressing interest in me. We were bored and decided to date. What else was there to do? We didn't have any feelings for each other but…whatever.

We were an OK couple, until Jake met Nessie. Nessie was nice and beautiful and Jake fell hard for her. I didn't grudge him on that. He deserved a happy ending. We tried to stay friends but we got busier with our own lives. James moved to Alaska about a week after Jake and I became a couple so nothing else tied me to Phoenix anymore. That's when I proposed a big change to Emmet. Could I move in with him? He'd be eighteen by the end of June. It would be legal. He, of course, agreed so everything was set…and my life began.

* * *

Author's Note: So this is obviously my first fanfiction. After much deliberation, it is finally up and published. Because this is the first, it isn't as...well written as the fanfiction I aspire to write, but these things take time. By the way, I changed Charlie to Chucky because I love Charlie too much and I thought giving him a different name would soften the blow of his neglect. At least for me. So I hope this peaks your interest and don't worry Edward will be in it soon. Next chapter actually! Please review!


	2. Running into Love

A/N: Well, chapter 2 is up! Thanks to those who reviewed. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Once there was a lady who had a dream about two characters in a meadow and wrote an amazing story about them. Unfortunately, that lady wasn't me. Nor am I the other one who wrote about a boy wizard.

**2. Running into Love**

You know what sucks? Mornings without coffee. Coffee was the only way I could survive in the early hours, but I just didn't have time to grab a cup. I was already so late for my plane. Renee couldn't take me to the airport since Phil had a baseball game to play in, which meant it was up to me to walk to the nearest bus stop. Splendid, is it not? But at least I'd get a little morning perk from the sunshine.

Unfortunately, the bus was late so I had to sprint to my gate. To make matters worse I was highly uncoordinated, which caused me to run into someone.

"Oof!" My cry came out all muffled when the poor guy had to come across chaos in the form of Bella. "Oh, I'm so sorry!"

"Watch where you're walking," the guy growled. The rude comment was totally contradicted by his insane voice. It was…melodic, velvety almost. When I backed up to view his face, the sight took my breath away.

He was so…_beautiful! _Pale skin like my own with a faint pink underneath. He wasn't looking at me though, just scowling. And not exactly _seeing_ he was looking kind of _through_ me. But with endless pools of emerald that held so much… _depth_. His hair was strange. Gorgeous, like everything else about him, but an unusual reddish brown color. Like a penny. It was untidy, too. Bedhead. Which, to me, only added to his charm. He was muscular. Not bulky like Emmet, but I could see tendons in his arms, and abs through his tight shirt.

Realizing I was staring I quickly looked away, wiping away the pool of drool from the corner of my mouth.

"Right, well. I _am_ sorry. I'd offer insurance for what damage I've done, but I'm in a hurry." I bowed a little, adding to the sarcastic affect and dashed off. I don't know if I imagined it, but I believe I saw his perfect lips pull up at the corners. Just a little. Cool! I made Mr. Grumpy smile. Score! Ten points for Gryffindor!

I sighed with relief once I got on the plane. I had the back seats in the middle aisle that unfortunately didn't recline. At least I wouldn't be able to see the ground for lift off. I disliked heights. What with my extreme klutziness, heights and I just shouldn't mix.

As I turned to look around, I noticed Mr. Grumpy himself was walking up the aisle. Hmm maybe we'd sit together. This proved correct when he came to a stop by my seat, shoving his bag in the compartment above. He looked at me for a second, turned around as though to check if I was really looking at him, then back again. His expression was wary, almost a glare. He didn't know _what_ I was going to do. I smiled widely just to scare him. Terrifying, am I not Grumps? The guy before me looked dazed for a moment, then shook his head as though to clear it.

"Hello!" I said in a cheery voice, "and welcome to the most comfy seats on the plane! Seriously, man, this is butt heaven." He looked at me appraisingly, then slowly a smile crept upon his face, all lopsided and amazing. Gorgeous.

"Butt heaven," he said in a low musical voice. "How poetic."

"Move over Shakespeare," I agreed. "Though you might want to actually sit down to really enjoy the experience." Ahh sarcasm, my best friend. He chuckled nervously and took his seat. That was when the intercom came on announcing lift off.

"So what's your name?" I asked when the voice faded away.

"Cullen, Edward Cullen." I smiled at him. Edward…it fit. Coincidentally, it had always been the name of my Prince Charming when I played princess.

"Really? Well, I'm Bond, James Bond." I said in my best Sean Connery impersonation. He actually started laughing. I awarded Gryffindor ten more points. Once he calmed a bit he looked at me…right in the eyes. I smiled softly despite the blush rising in my cheeks.

"No really, what's your name?" Good, I got him talking.

"Swan, Bella Swan." He seemed fascinated by this. "What?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

"N-nothing."

"Oh come on Eddie," I persisted with a pout. He gave me an unfathomable glance then.

"_What?_" I asked again, getting a bit frustrated.

"Y-you called me Eddie." Indeed I had. I was a little embarrassed. What was it with me and getting too comfy with people?

"Oh, I'm sorry. _God!_ I always do that. I always call people by their nicknames. Like Jimmy when his name's James. Hey, that rhymed!

"You're a poet and you didn't even know it."

"I can make a rhyme anytime. Shakespeare's history now…literally, I learned about him last year." He smiled but his eyes looked questioning and a little down.

"So… who's James or should I say Jimmy?"

"A friend." I replied simply. No need to tell him I hadn't spoken with Jimmy for a while. Hello, my name is Evil.

He nodded, seeming pleased. Then he began speaking, so fast that I had to strain to keep it straight. "Look I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier." I waved my hand casually in response.

"No big deal. We all have our mornings. Sorry I made yours worse Eddie…Edward, I mean."

You didn't," he spoke quickly, "and you can call me Eddie. You know i-if you want." And I was surprised to see a subtle blush on his cheeks. Guys blush?

"Alright…_Eddie_. Tell me about yourself."

"Oh I'm really not that interesting."

"I beg to differ. Come on Pretty Boy what's going down in da hood?" I id my best gangster impression. 'Cause when you think of Bella Swan, you immediately think gangster.

"Pretty Boy?" he asked raising his eyebrows and flashing that crooked grin that made my heart skip a beat. Aww, he was so _cute_!

"Well, I can't call you Ugly Man, can I? That would be blasphemous and I'd be a liar. Two things of which I am not," I said in an offended tone, though my blush and proud smile gave me away. He smirked.

Looking away a second, I made contact with a pair of steel cold eyes. A strawberry blonde was glaring daggers at me, then looking at Edward longingly. Oh, I see! She was jealous. Was humorous, given the circumstances, for Pretty Boy and I had barely known each other ten minutes. I wondered if she knew Edward. Could he have a girlfriend? I was released from my less than pleasant thoughts when Edward asked what was wrong. I found myself laughing a bit.

"That girl over there is jealous I'm talking to you," I told him.

"Oh no," he groaned, when he turned in the direction of my gaze (not a girlfriend I guess)."She's this girl from my school who is after me. I don't know why, but she is obsessed. I have friends who say she built an Edward Cullen shrine in her closet." He seemed so freaked by it, I started laughing louder.

"What?" he asked a little annoyed.

"Well…you act…like…she's…a…horrible…monster…out to…suck…your blood," I managed to say in between giggles.

"Well she does look at me like I'm a piece of meat," he said, though he was smiling too. I'd say this is about a thousand points for Gryffindor. Wouldn't you?

* * *

Thanks to those who reviewed. I feed off of them. If I were a vampire, they'd be the blood. Or if I was Tanya, they'd be my Edward. So keep reviewing!


	3. Fateful Shocks

A/N: Seems like an awfully long time since I updated. Thank you to the two people who reviewed, I can really tell this story is quite popular. Sorry for the sarcasm but that made me sad to see only two reviews. However, I appreciate them more than you two can know. Anyway, here is a very long chapter for you. Perhaps I'll get more reviews that way.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Gilmore Girls, Pride and Prejudice, Monty Python, or Prince Charming.

**4. Fateful Shocks**

"Um Eddie, she's coming over here," I warned cautiously.

"Jesus, Mary, Joseph and a camel," he mumbled under his breath, causing me to laugh. Tanya came over to us, leaning forward so Edward could view her obnoxious cleavage. He just looked like he wanted to throw up. Well, at least he had good sense. He didn't seem to be like those boys driven by their hormones. A good quality for Prince Charming.

"Hey Eddiekins," Are you _serious?_ She said this _trying_ to be seductive. At least I think that was her objective. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. "I didn't know you had a girlfriend…what's her name?" Edward gave me a pleading look to help him and I obliged.

"Bella," I said.

"Really? Nice to meet you," she sneered at me, and I didn't believe one word.

"Enchanté." I smiled at little at her confused expression.

"You don't look much like a couple," she observed, skeptically.

"We're in the beginning stages," I explained. She didn't appear to be listening.

"But you could always prove me wrong."

Ohhh. Ewww. What was _wrong_ with her? Not that kissing Edward would be horrible…far from it…but she wanted to _watch? _"You want us to _kiss?_" I asked, turning my head up incredulously.

"Tanya I really don't think that's necessary." Edward said, though he looked a little excited. I smirked, recovering from my state of shock, and shook my head.

"I knew it, she repulses you," Tanya boldly accused. Such a compliment!

Edward rolled his eyes, turning to me and said, "Sweetheart, that seat looks a little uncomfortable. Why don't you sit here?" He patted his lap. Trying to contain my laughter, I climbed right on.

"Smooth," I whispered as Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and I followed suit. Now here was the crazy thing. Right when I came in contact with his skin, this amazing electrifying feeling coursed through me. A thousand shocks running through my body. I really had to work to hide my gasp.

"A kiss is all I want to see," Tanya persisted.

"Well it's really none of your business and PDA is highly overrated, but I'll make this sacrifice." I figured getting through this would make her leave, so I threw my arms around Edward's neck, staring into his eyes. When my lips touched his, those shocks increased and it took all my will power to turn towards our audience. When I did, I noticed Edward's face. And man was it hilarious! Eyes still closed, with a very blissful smile upon his face and a slight blush. Aww.

"That doesn't count," Tanya wailed. Tee-hee! "He has to kiss _you_."

"With pleasure." And Edward turned, kissing me a bit more passionately. I opened my eyes when he pulled back, but I had that goofy smile on my face. I'm sure I looked like a tomato (not a very attractive fruit) but Edward just smiled gently. When I turned to Tanya, her face was just as red as mine, eyes filled with ice cold fury.

You haven't heard the last of me!" she shrieked.

"Shut up!" some guy yelled from up front, and I felt Edward chuckle around me.

"Okay villain," I replied, superciliously. "But Superman and Wonder Woman need to catch up on Biology." I winked at Edward's smirking face. Tanya stalked back to her seat and I sighed in relief, then let out a laugh.

"Ha ha! That was fun!"

"Oh really?" Edward teased. "Kissing random strangers is fun?"

"Well I'd hardly call you one, _sweetheart_, considering I know your name and have met your lovely stalker. But yes it was fun, the most entertaining flight I've ever had. How about you?"

I'd say it's the most fun I've had in a while," he said, looking at me intently. I blushed.

"Glad I could help. Except Tanya is going to come back, and I'd rather not deal with her, so let's get this over with. I have a plan."

"Oh and what would that be?" Edward looked down at me, smirking, obviously humored by my apt stalker-get-rid-of-ing skills. And yes that is a word.

"Have you ever made out in an airplane bathroom?"

"No…" he said, eying me warily.

"Good, that's what we're going to do. Well…not _really_, that's what we're going to make it _look_ like we're doing."

"That's sounds good. When should we put the plan in action?"

"I say, when Tanya looks like she's about to put us through more torture. Until then, tell us about yourself."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, what are your interests?"

"I fell like you're my teacher and it's the first day of school."

"Everyone quiet! Mr. Cullen is trying to speak," I told the plane at large, which got me a few strange looks but Edward laughed. Which was the whole point, really. I suddenly realized I was still seated upon his lap, but I didn't move. Partially, because if I did move, Tanya would most likely notice. But mostly, because of those shocks that kept zapping me like lightening bolts of love. Hmm…that really does sound poetic!

"Fine," Edward relented, bringing me back to reality. "Playing piano and reading are my two passions. How about you, other than comedian?" he smiled at me crookedly, and my heart did flips in time with the zaps.

"I love to read, too. But art and singing are my main things."

"Perfect match," he muttered under his breath, though I don't think he wanted me to hear.

"What else. I'm guessing you don't have a girlfriend. No girls catch your eye?"

"Not in Washington," he was staring at me intently once more, and I took that as another sign that he could, indeed be, my Prince Charming.

"Well, I believe there's someone for everyone. You'll find your dream girl someday."

"I think I already have," he whispered as I lost myself in those emerald green pools.

"Good," I replied, softly. "You're halfway there, then." I looked over to Tanya and saw her face set in a determined mask.

"OK, time to put Make-out Mission into action. You ready, Agent Pretty Boy?" I smirked as his eyes narrowed.

"Absolutely…Agent Cheery Cheeks," he chuckled as I got up. Although, I didn't know if it was as his own joke or my now very red face.

"Aprés-vous, mademoiselle," he said with a rather over the top French accent. He bowed deeply as I passed.

"Merci, monsieur," I murmured, suppressing a smile.

Once in the bathroom, I set to work. "OK Agent, mess up your hair more, and I'll do the same. Unbutton your shirt a bit, and make it look wrinkled."

"Ma'am yes ma'am," he muttered, tending to his duties. I made my hair messy, buttoned down my shirt a little and made my bra lopsided. Edward gave me a look after that one.

"What? It's a small space. What do you expect?" I laughed.

He snorted, shaking his head. "You could've fixed that before we left."

"Ah, but you see, I got a little preoccupied by my wonderful boyfriend, and didn't realized this, until you so kindly point it out, to which I giggle. This way, our dear friend Tanny will truly get the message that you don't reciprocate her feelings…or that you're a sex addict. And hey, either way you picked me!" I grinned, very proud of my persuasive speech.

"You're quite good at this. Do you often fake make-out with strangers?" He asked in mock surprise.

I looked at him innocently. "Well, no. But I used to make-out with a lot of guys back home. So it takes experience."

His face was too priceless, shock radiating from every corner, his mouth opening and closing like a fish, clueless on how to respond. I cracked up.

"Kidding, man!" I managed to gasp.

He scowled at me. "Not funny. Here I was thinking you would only kiss me twice and yet hundreds of other guys get the privilege of actually _making-out _with you." His eyes twinkled mischievously and it made me suddenly shy.

I bit my lip, looking down. "I-I'm sorry if you didn't want me to do that. I just thought it would help."

And then I felt a hand gently raise my chin, so he could see my eyes. Edward was grinning. "You, my love," he said in a British accent. "Are quite absurd. I have never been so honored to be in the presence of one as lovely as you. Or snogged either." He opened the door for me and I walked out in a bit of a daze.

I glance around the plane, looking for those cold eyes and I found them, murderously watching my every step. Edward whispered in my ear, causing the heat to rush to my face and my heart to skip, yet again.

"You can fix it now." I looked down, giggled in a very girly way, and fixed my bra. We sat back down and I announced that Part 3 was coming up.

"Quick!" he hissed urgently. "Make us look more like a couple."

"Er, I probably should sit on your lap then…" I mumbled, awkwardly.

"Of course, come on!" he whispered and pulled me on top of him.

"I'm sorry. I'm heavier than your average backpack."

He just rolled his eyes. I put my arms around him again and he did the same. The shocks flew at an alarming rate and I wondered if Edward could feel them, too. I looked up to find him staring at me with a weird expression. A combination of awe and caring…and confusion.

"Hey Eddie…I know this may sound crazy, but do you feel those shocks…?" I frowned, trying to find the right words to explain.

"Yes!' he said, surprised. "I'm amazed you feel them, too!"

"It feels like being stuck in an outlet…" I mused. "But in a good way, don't you think?"

He just nodded as I picked up one of his hand and examined it. Pointing his forefinger out to meet mine, I observed what caused the reaction. It took a while for me to realize Edward was shaking with laughter, as I was so caught up in my experiment.

"Sorry," I blushed, looking up at him sheepishly. "It's just…fascinating!"

"I feel like a science experiment."

"I didn't mean it like that!" I said quickly. "It's just…so cool! You can never get bored." I took his hand and did the same thing, adding special effects. "Zap…zap…zap…" His laughter surrounded me in velvety music, and I smiled at the sound. Almost immediately, it was wiped clean as Tanya approached us.

I smiled a big, cheesy, delightfully fake grin. "Tanny! My dog! My home skillet biscuit. What's going down in the hood?!" More velvety music reached my ears, but Tanya looked at me like I was crazy.

"What were you two doing in there?" she demanded, as though we totally would tell her. I decided to mess with her mind.

"The physical act of love," I replied, calmly. Edward stared at me, his eyes humored and I willed the blush away. It didn't work. Drat!

"You were having sex in the bathroom?!" she shrieked.

"No." I looked at her like _she_ was crazy. "We were dancing. Haven't you ever seen Pride and Prejudice before? And then we were discussing the speed velocity of a sparrow. Edward here thinks it's fifty mph but I disagree. Doesn't that seem a little fast to you?" Edward was shaking in mirth by the time I ended but Tanya looked at me blankly.

"Whatever. I just came to warn you. Edward never goes out with girls. He's using you for his own selfish reasons. He doesn't want you. I'm sure I speak for all of us, when I say, go away!"

Edward glared at her. "Why don't you Tanya?" he spat.

"If she doesn't leave Edward she will be taught a lesson." She stepped toward me, with a sinister smile across her pretty face. Edward's arms tightened around me protectively and it didn't escape her notice. Her eyes narrowed dangerously, as her face came onto the same level as mine, barely six inches apart. "Watch your step, _Bella_." Then she abruptly turned and flounced back to her seat.

Edward took in a sharp breath and glanced at me in concern. "Are you OK?" He placed a hand on my cheek and I leaned into his touch.

"Yes, no damage done." I grinned up at him.

He smiled softly. "You look tired, perhaps you should sleep." I yawned, as if on cue, and reluctantly started to go back to my seat. But Edward pulled me back.

"Am I really that uncomfortable? I like you _here_." He pouted. Almost involuntarily, I kissed his jutting lip, surprising both of us.

"Sorry, couldn't resist," I muttered shyly, and lay my head on his chest, closing my eyes.

He chuckled quietly. "No need to be sorry Bella. My Bella." The last sentence was uttered in a whisper so soft, I wasn't sure I'd heard correctly. Still, it made me smile and I fell asleep. In his arms. A while later, Edward woke me up to say we had landed. He offered to carry my bags (more like insisted) and we walked out. I was rather depressed for we now had to part ways. He glanced down at me as we stepped through the door.

Seattle traffic rushed past in a whirl, a siren sounding vaguely in the distance. but I barely heard as Edward turned to me, suddenly taking my face in his hands.

"Do you believe in fate, Bella?"

"Of course," I replied instantly.

"Then I believe we will meet again. So this isn't really good bye, more of an, I'll be seeing you…"

"OK Eddie or shall I say Pretty Boy, I'll be seeing you."

"I'll miss you, my Bella," he murmured as he pulled me into an embrace.

"I'll miss you, too." Then I turned and went to find a taxi, waving one last time to Edward and those fateful shocks.

* * *

So thanks for reading! As you can see, we get a bit more humor here and it's quite long. Ahh! I hear voices in my head! Oh, it's Emmet and Alice. Yes, they really want to have their part in the story. And I hear Jasper and Rosalie, too. If you liked that chapter, hated that chapter, or really want to meet the whole gang, review please.

By the way, I wondered vaguely if there actually _was_ an attractive fruit. Do you guys think so? Perhaps apples considering they deal with Twilight and Twilight is a very alluring book. Hmm...big ponder session...


	4. A Small World of Love

A/N: Yay! This chapter is finally up! Against all odds, too. My brother stole the computer from me, my parents suspended my computer usage...apparently I go on too much. Who knew? And then Microsoft shut me out of the place three times! Grrr! How frustrating.

Anyway, I got a pretty good response last time. Thank you to all who reviewed, your comments make me smile. You are all as dazzling as Edward Cullen!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight...or the song that will probably be stuck in your head once you are finished.

**5. A Small World of Love**

"Emmy!" I cried as I ran onto the football field. I had gotten situated at home and came to surprise Emmett at his game. They had won, so he would be in a good mood. I tackled him from behind (a feat in itself) to the ground. Getting up, I did some sort of victory dance. But suddenly, the world went upside down, then right side up, as I was flipped onto someone's shoulders. My scream could probably be heard all the way back in Phoenix.

"Calm down, Bells." Emmett's deep voice reached my ears, and I looked down to see my grinning brother. So _he_ was the owner of the mysterious shoulders! I was better than Sherlock, with my solving skills.

"Ha ha! How did you like my means of greeting?"

"Very…original?"

"Just like me," I stated rather proud.

"I wholeheartedly agree," he chuckled. And he wasn't the only one, the other players were laughing their asses off. Gee, I wonder why. Could it be because a five-foot chick just knocked down the Incredible Hulk? Perhaps. However, not everyone was humored by my sudden appearance. One girl, statuesque and beautiful, with a waterfall of gold cascading down her back, was glaring at me.

"Um Emmy, who is that blond girl, over there?" I asked, slightly afraid.

"Ah shit," he muttered. "That's Rose, you know, my girlfriend. She gets a little…possessive when it comes to other women."

"It'll be OK," I assured him, though I was trying harder to convince myself. "It's just a misunderstanding."

He nodded absently as he called her over. "Rose Petal, come meet my lil' sis here. Bellsie, this is Rosie," he introduced once Rosalie reached us.

"Hi," I said shyly. Her beauty made me self-conscious, but she smiled warmly back. All signs of murder, gone.

"Hello, I've heard so much about you." And it surprised me, as she pulled me into a hug.

"I've heard a lot about you, too." I told her with a smile, as we released each other. I looked to her left and found a short girl, even shorter than myself, jumping up and down. She reminded me of a pixie, slight and elfin, with jet-black hair sticking in all different directions.

"And your Alice, right?" I asked with a grin. Emmett had informed me of his group. Rose, his beautiful, car-loving, girlfriend; Alice, the evil pixie; Jazz, the laid-back cowboy, Rosalie's brother and Alice's boyfriend. And then Ed, the brooding musician.

"Yes! Oh my gosh! It's so great to finally meet you! Emmett kept raving about his wonderful sister and I just couldn't wait. You will totally be my best friend, and you have to meet Jazzy and Ed-"

"What about me?" said a deep voice, with a southern drawl. A tall gorgeous guy, with honey blond hair, came and put an arm around the pixie's waist.

"This is the infamous Bella, Jasper."

"Sorry, no autographs," and they laughed. "It's really nice to meet you all."

"Oh this to too perfect!" Alice exclaimed. "But Bella we need to go shopping. What's with that outfit!" OK, I can see the evil now.

"If it makes you happy," I sighed.

"Yes!!"

"Well come on Bells. We're going to celebrate the win over pizza." Emmett just couldn't pass down food.

"Are you sure you want me to go?"

"Of course! Besides you still have to the meet Ed, he's meeting us the there."

"Why isn't he here?"

Emmett shrugged. "He just got back from a trip. Said he needed to drop off his stuff."

"Alright. Let us go anon, fellow comrades, to fill thine stomachs lusty for provisions," I commanded in a _very_ believable British accent.

Jasper chuckled. "Nice. Shakespeare?"

"Yes," I grinned. "With a little Bella Swan mixed in."

The restaurant wasn't far away so we walked, much to my dismay. You know, I should have been a model. I bet I'd just rock at the cat walk! Fortunately, Jasper or Emmett would catch me whenever I tripped. Although, Emmett kept cracking jokes at my expense. Meanie!

We had just approached the building, when it happened. I tripped on a rock, sending me flying forward when two arms wound themselves around my waist. I sighed in relief, too surprised to take notice of those shocks coursing from _his _touch.

"Your plans to reunite the ground and I, are futile evil feet! Thank you dear knight," I said, turning my head up to my savior. And I gasped _his _emerald eyes met mine.

"You're welcome," he breathed, just as shocked as I felt. Then next thing I knew, my arms were around his neck and he was spinning me in a circle. Our laughter mingled in a wonderful harmony, floating into the night. When he set me down, both our cheeks were flushed, his eyes bright with excitement.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in disbelief.

"I could say the same."

"Emmett, my friend, had a game tonight. We're celebrating here."

"Holy crap! Emmett? He's my brother! And here I thought Tanya rubbed off on you, and you decided to stalk me."

"Oh I figured, _you_ decided to stalk _me_. It is my town after all."

"You're right," I confessed, looking down. "I just couldn't stay away from you, dear Eddie." And then we laughed once more.

"I guess fate did want us to meet again. Small world, isn't it?" He smiled down at me.

"Small world," I agreed, grinning back.

But someone cleared there throat, bringing us back to reality and the audience staring at us with astounded faces. Hmm…we must have put on a good show. Emmett looked dumbfounded; Jasper suppressing laughter; Rosalie wide-eyed; and then Alice, smirking as though she knew already.

"Um…'sup?" I asked, blushing.

"Since when do you know Edward, Bella?" Emmett asked. Oh, _now_ he uses his full name.

"We met on the plane."

"Ohhh," Alice said in realization. "_That's_ why Mom called. She was completely worried about you Edward. She said you were practically dancing when you arrived." I smiled slightly at Edward's blushing face.

"Well I guess it _is_ a small world," Rosalie chimed in.

So I began to sing the song. "It's a world of laughter, a world of tears; it's a world of hope and a world of fears. There's so much that we share, that it's time we're aware, it's a small world after all." Only to blush, once again, as they all looked at me in awe.

"You have an amazing voice," Jasper complimented, opening the door.

"Absolutely beautiful," Edward murmured in my ear, making my breath catch.

"Thank you," I muttered walking in and finding a seat, hungry, and, you know, embarrassed. Just as my luck would have it, Alice forced Edward to sit next to me, making me feel awkward and very aware of my arms. Where I placed them, what I did with them. And I couldn't help but glance at him a few times. Every time, he'd be staring at me, and every time, I'd blush and look away. Alice and Rosalie would both notice, smirking and winking. Oh geez! Was I _that_ obvious?

When I went to bed that night, I couldn't stop thinking of Edward. It was a constant mantra going on in my head, to the beat of my heart. _Ed-ward Ed-ward Ed-ward._ _Ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum._ It didn't take me long to realize why. It was in love with him. Though I'd never been a huge believer in love at first sight, I knew it was true. Of course, fate and destiny I'd believed in since I could crawl. But they were different.

Fate decided what path your life would take, but with love, you actually had to _know_ the person and be able to put up with them. I'd known Edward for a day, less than a day even. Only a plane ride and a dinner. Nevertheless, love consumed me in fiery bliss that night. For I knew, and fate knew, that he was the only one for me….

Never mind, that he was my friend and I had no idea how he felt in return.

I sighed, tomorrow would be my first day at Forks High and I was excited to see him again. With that as my last thought, I fell into unconsciousness.

* * *

A/N: So it's not as long as the last chapter but at least they are reunited. And the gang is here! Please, fellow fanfictioners, go anon and write thine review. My muse shall take thee comments into consideration. Do you believe in true love like Bella now does? I never have, but that's the great thing with writing, my characters can think completely different thoughts. Thank you, and I can't wait to see what you think!


	5. Isabella's First Day of School

A/N: Why hello there, readers! Long time no read. So thank you to those who reviewed. I didn't get quite as many reviews this time as the time before that, but hey, I figure many are on vacation right now. So if you do read this, please review. Even if it's a flame or whatever.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Jane Eyre, or Harry Potter. Duh, if I was SM, CB, JKR would I be here?

**6. Isabella's First Day of School**

"This is it!" I told my reflection. Sometimes it was the best listener. "The first day of the rest of your life." OK, perhaps that's a tad dramatic, but I _was_ rather nervous. Forks High and a grand total of about two students loomed ahead of me. Exaggeration? I should think not! With a sigh, I straightened up, secured the towel tighter around me and walked to my room.

I tapped my chin thoughtfully, deciding what to wear. A lovely black band shirt featuring my favorite band upon its front and a flowy pink skirt seemed about right. And my trusty neon green converses. Is that a bit abnormal? Yes? Good, then it's perfect.

My hair had formed its usual soft curls and I didn't want to bother with it today which left only make-up. Normally, I wouldn't want to wear any, but today felt like an occasion. After some smoky purple eye shadow and bright red lip gloss, I was ready.

"Bellsie, come on slow poke! We're going to be late!" Emmett boomed from downstairs.

"Hold your horses, little horsey holder!"

"They're impatient though!"

"Then teach them that patience is a virtue…not that you have one anymore!"

"Damn straight! But I need sugar to teach them that."

"Well," I grinned at him as I met him down the stairs. "We'll be seeing Rose in a moment, I'm sure she'll give you some." His eyes glazed over and I had to push against him to walk forward. Great, now my arms hurt!

* * *

"Rosie!" Emmett shouted before he had even stopped his Jeep. Once he'd turned off the ignition, he was outta here. Dang that boy runs fast! Hopefully, Rose would give him some sugar. I shuttered to think of my brother's romantic life, and got out of the monster mobile.

It didn't take long to find the office and the receptionist handed me my schedule. Luckily, I was only starting about a week into the year, so I wouldn't have to catch up too much. Walking out, a sudden scene from one of my favorite books crossed my mind and I froze, a smile spreading on my face. But suddenly my vision was obscured by dazzling green orbs.

"Oh!" I gasped, jumping a bit, then laughing. "Eddie, you _scared_ me!"

"Sorry," but he smiled crookedly and I didn't really believe him. "You just looked so intent. What were you thinking about?"

I rolled my eyes, more at myself for just randomly stopping on the sidewalk, although it wasn't the first time it'd happened. "Just a book."

"Which one?"

"Jane Eyre."

"Ah," he nodded, approvingly. "A classic."

I grinned at him. "You're not just saying that cause you and Mr. Rochester share the same name are you?"

"Me?" he said in mock offense. "Why I'd never…" He glanced down on my shirt. "Great band by the way." I smirked at his change in subject.

"Psh! Tell me something I _don't_ know. Now what classes do you have so we can compare schedules."

As fate (who I'm beginning to really love) would have it, we had all but two classes with each other. Now that is the very essence of awesome sauce. Then, out of my peripheral vision, I saw someone approach us; a cute boy with blond spikes and a cocky grin. Hmm…suspicious….

"Well, hey there," he said to me, taking no notice of Edward. "You're Isabella Swan, huh? Emmett's little sister?" He looked around, almost anxiously, as though afraid Emmett would suddenly appear. I bit my lip to suppress a smile.

"Bella," I corrected, noticing Edward's now very tense state. He was glaring at this boy! "Nice to meet you…"

"Mike," he finished.

"Right…well, I should get to class. Don't want to be labeled the 'late kid.' Talk about nightmare." He stared at me blankly, but I heard a musical chuckle from a certain god. Well at least _someone_ could appreciate my humor! I began to walk away, but he stepped in front of me.

"Hold up a sec! I wanted to know if you'd like to witness one of the best experiences of your life."

"What would that be?" I asked warily.

"A date with the coolest guy in school!"

"Oh." I looked down in faux embarrassment. "Well Matt, I think Edward should be the one to ask me if he wants to go on a date with me. But thanks for the offer!"

"I meant _me_!" he said, offended. "Not _Cullen_!" He glared at Edward's laughing form.

"Really? I thought you said cool, not annoying." And I grabbed Edward's hand and marched to first period, English.

"So I'm the coolest, am I?" he asked with his crooked grin as we took our seats.

"But of course!" I told him, blushing. "Don't need a genius for that Mr. C. From personal experience, you Emmett and Jasper share the categories for most wonderful guys in Forks.

"And what, pray tell, are all these wonderful categories?" He leaned forward, eyes wickedly amused.

I pondered for a moment. "Coolest…strongest…most soothing…most good-looking…funniest…most musical…best taste in books…"

"And I win…"

I looked at him as if he was delusional. "Coolest, looks, music and taste." Wasn't it obvious?

He rolled his eyes, then turned serious. "I'm surprised you turned down Mike, Bella. He's never been rejected by any girl aside from Alice and Rosalie."

I grimaced. "You're kidding me, right? Mike's disgusting. I don't know what would be worse, facing Tanya or being on a date with him."

He laughed. "They're cousins, you know."

"I can see the resemblance."

"Well, still, you should watch out. Mike is like a leech. Lurking about, biding his time until he sucks you dry."

"Like I said, disgusting."

Class started then and the day commenced, made all the better because I'd already made friends. Although, I did see Tanya and Mike glaring at Edward and I. I wondered if they were up to something, or if my extreme movie and book intake was going to my head. Lunch had to be my favorite part of the day though, because the six of us all had it together. Currently I was trying to persuade my fellow comrades to read an amazing book. Would you believe only Edward read the beautiful masterpiece? Such a tragedy, I've never dreamed of!

"Come on!" I complained. "It's absolutely incredible. It has Dumbledore, my idol! And Ron Weasley. I swoon whenever he speaks in his British accent!"

"Oh I'm sold!" Jasper exclaimed. "I want an English hottie. Count me in."

"Cute," I told him flatly, then turned to the others. "It has Dobby the house-elf and his amazing socks! And it has frickin' Fred and George! No one on the face of this planet, or the next, can dislike the twins! It just has a beautiful message. Love conquers all! How can you just live without reading it! Seriously!"

"Bells, _Bells_," Jasper tried to calm me down. My rant had gotten pretty intense at the end. "Relax, it's just a book." Oh that does it! I shot him my short-lived glare, slapped my hand on the table and leaned forward so our faces were mere inches apart. He visibly gulped.

"Just a book?" I asked menacingly. I leaned back, throwing my hands in the air. "Just a book! Harry Potter is brilliant. Absolutely _brilliant_! A land of make believe. Not just a book, buddy! Even Eddie can verify!" But he wouldn't meet my gaze when I turned to look at him. I realized my attempts were futile, as none would look at me. Emmett even had the audacity to make I cuckoo sign with his finger.

"Fine," I sighed, sitting back down again. "The madness has passed."

"Bells…can I ask you something?" Jasper asked, still nervous from my freak out.

"Go ahead Jazz," I laughed. "I promise not to bite."

"Well…why do you call Edward, Eddie when he hates it so much?"

I glanced at the boy in question, confused. Especially when a subtle blush hit his cheeks. "He let me?"

Emmett turned to me-finally-shocked. "Ed never, I repeat _never_, lets _anyone_ call him Eddie!"

I stuck my nose in the air, rather haughtily, and grabbed Edward's hand. "That is because, dear friends of mine, I do so, as a sign of endearment. Not to piss him off."

"Yeah," Edward agreed, winding an arm around my shoulders. "She's special."

Alice and Rosalie 'awed' as Emmett gagged. Jasper looked between us, then down. "I'm sorry I asked." We laughed at them but then I a sudden thought struck me.

"Hey have you guys every noticed how in Beauty and the Beast it takes place in France but the only characters who have an actual French accent is Lumiere and the feather duster? The logic of people astounds me sometimes!"

"Oh Bella," Emmett sighed. "What are we going to do with you?"

"What?" The bell interrupted my confusion and I jumped up, pulling Edward along. "See you later my homies. Gots to go chill with my home-boy."

Alice stared at me in horror while Rosalie ran away after the other boys, embarrassed. "At least act _somewhat_ feminine every once in a while, Bells," Alice pleaded.

"Oh, I'm sorry Miss Aly," I said with a Southern-bell accent. "Little ole me has to go with this here fine specimen of manhood and be taught how to act like a true young lady. See you in while. I'm sure you will want to add in your own lessons. Better?"

"Much," she sighed. "Thank you!"

I turned to Edward, looking up at him underneath my lashes. "Mind giving little ole me a lift?"

He grinned, crouching down so I could jump on his back. "Of course not," he stated with a southern accent rivaling Jasper's. "I wouldn't be a true gentleman if I didn't escort the gorgeous young lady properly, now would I?"

"Aw shucks Mr. Cullen," I replied, tightening my grip as he started to move. "You're making me blush." And I wasn't lying!

* * *

We arrived in the Biology room before anyone else, the teacher the only other occupant. He looked at us and smiled. "Ah young love!" he sighed, taking my sign-in sheet. "You're lucky we only have one seat left by Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan. No funny business!" But he was chuckling, and despite my embarrassment I knew he'd be a good teacher.

Edward sat us down and I got out my notebooks, randomly sketching. After a while I started getting into the drawing, realizing it was one of that fine specimen of manhood.

"Look at my new masterpiece, Eddie!" I stated proudly once finished. He stared at it, a crooked smile slowly spreading, eyes intense.

"You never cease to amaze me Bella. Though a self-portrait would be much more beautiful." I blushed, of course.

"Yeah, right," I scoffed. "But thanks, I needed inspiration. You must be my muse." Yes, that seemed fitting. In fact I had lyrics running through my head, burning to become a song whenever I was with him. I sighed wondering if he felt that way, too.

"The feeling is mutual," he said, eyes smoldering with their intensity. Could he read my mind?! "Trust me."

"I do," I told him very softly. And then class began. Perfect timing! It confused me as I sat there, taking notes. The girls glared at me, jealous no doubt, because of Mr. Cullen speaking to me. But they'd been doing that all day. And then the guys here! They kept staring at me with some strange emotion.

"Hey Edward…" I whispered as we packed up. He looked at me, gesturing for me to walk ahead. "Well…I just…why do all these guys keep watching me? It's unnerving."

He glanced at them, laughing grimly. "Forks doesn't get many new students since it's so small. And the fact that a new, single, and beautiful girl has come here makes the boys…quite excited. They're interested in you. And they are being pathetically blatant about it."

I frowned, then shrugged uncomfortable. The sooner I got out of here the better. With a sigh, I approached the gym door, sad that Edward would not be by my side in that class. Although, in retrospect, that could be a good thing. How humiliating it would be, falling down all the time right in front a him!

It passed painfully slow. Literally. I got _covered_ in bruises. But eventually the bell rang and I raced out, greeted by the very attractive back of, the one, the only, Edward Cullen. He really had a rather nice ass, if I do say so myself. I grinned and ran-carefully-over to him, jumping on his back.

"Why hello there, Mr. C. How's it hanging?" I rested my head on his shoulder to see his face. He peered at me from the corner his eyes, smiling his smile.

"Much better, _now_."

"Since you can get away from that wonderful stalker of yours?"

"I was thinking because you're here with me, but now that you mention it…yes, that does make it better."

"Well, I feel better also," I admitted, showing him my now beautifully decorated arm. Those bruises sure make a nice touch. "Gym can cause fatal injuries, as you can see."

He gasped, then chuckled. Glad my pain amuses you, buddy!

"Oh Bella," he sighed. "What _are_ we going to do with you?"

"Extra padding?" I suggested, sheepishly. He laughed, walking us to his car. Apparently everyone was meeting at his house for a movie night and Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie had already left to go to the Hale's for something. When we got to our destination, Alice was there, a big smile on her face.

"Howdy Alice!" I called from up above. The weather really _is_ different from up here.

"Here two days and you already have yourself and escort!" Edward blushed and I took that as a cue to tease him.

"Well Eddie's such a good little boy." I ruffled his hair and he glared at me.

"Can we stop talking about him, like he's not here?!"

"Oh sorry," I slipped down, hugging him. "But what can I say? You just so very wonderful, I have to share it with the world…shotgun!" I carefully ran to the other side of the car, ignoring Alice's protests.

Both got inside and Edward took off, easily speeding at a good 100 mph. Renee had always abided by traffic laws so this was exhilarating. I started laughing on this strange high, and the other two looked at me, clearly questioning my sanity.

"Edward drives fast," I explained. "It's fun." My statement caused Edward to go even faster and in a matter of seconds, we had parked in front of a beautiful house (or perhaps mansion was more appropriate.) White and elegant, it stood like a welcoming angel among in a green heaven. The backyard rolled on in acres and trees stood in a flood of leaves and pine. A ribbon of water meandered through the emerald sea. They had a stream here, too?!

"Whoa!" I breathed.

"Yeah, my dad's a doctor and it kinda gives us the money," Edward explained a little awkwardly.

"Plus I'm partially clairvoyant, so it helps with the stock market…not that that's doing so well now," Alice piped in.

"It's still cool," I muttered.  
"What is?" asked a soft voice from behind me….

* * *

A/N: Ooh! Who on earth could it be? So what'd you think? Like it? Love it? Loathe it? Hey, three Ls, love the illiteration and the assonance. Oh and the band on Bella's shirt is none other than The Used. Youtube them if you haven't heard about them, although they are rather well known. Still, I discovered them on this wonderful sight so...GO! But not before reviewing! :)


	6. Movie Night

A/N: Why hello there! Come here often? Hmm...that sounded a little creepy. Anyway, Chapter the Seventh is up fine readers! Hope you enjoy. Oh and thank you to all who reviewed, I was floored. Seriously, I tripped worse than Bella would because your feed-back was staggering. What? It was my natural born clumsiness? Well, I've never been so offended in all my life!

Disclaimer: I don't own it people, gosh! Rip my heart out! See if I care! Wound my soul! It's obviously a playground for you people!

After much deliberation and rather dramatic notes I present this chapter...

* * *

7. Movie Night

I turned around to see two beautiful people. One, a tall male with blond hair and a calm aura, the other a motherly lady with caramel locks waving around her heart shaped face.

"Oh hi! I'm Bella, Alice and Edward's friend. Or Emmet's sister if you prefer," I said, offering my hand to Mrs. Cullen. But she surprised me by pulling me into a tight embrace.

"It's so nice to finally meet you! I've never seen him happier than after his flight."

"Oh Edward? Yeah, he's great! Took me to all my classes. Very gentlemanly. You raised him well!" I told her, laughing. Edward was looking down, but I could see a smile playing on his lips. His parents laughed and I shook Mr. Cullen's hand.

"Your house is amazing by the way, Mrs. Cullen."

"Oh call us Carlisle and Esme, dear. Emmet's practically family, and now so are you!"

"Thank you, so much." I replied, touched.

"Come on, Bella!" said an enthusiastic Alice. "You can see my room. And I can play Bella Barbie for a certain someone." Wink wink. "Oh I hope Rose gets here soon, she's a genius with hair."

"Calm down Aly. Do I have too?"

"I'll be your bestest fwiend." Alice said, with big puppy dog eyes. I couldn't resist.

"Fine," I sighed. "Out of the kindness in my heart."

"Yay! Oh this will be so much fun!" She grabbed my hand and dragged me up the stairs.

"See ya Eddie!" I called. "If I make it!" I smiled when I heard his melodic laugh float towards me. Alice noticed and smiled too.

"You like him, don't you?" she asked, softly. I looked at her and found only trust in her hazel eyes. I nodded, blushing profusely.

"He likes you, too," she whispered. "I've never seen him so happy. He was on cloud nine. And he never, _ever_ talks to girls other than me and Rose."

"I think it's fate," I told her quietly. "It all seems right. I've only been with one other guy who loved someone else, but I always believed someone was out there. It's better than I imagined."

"Well since I'm a psychic, I can tell." Alice then opened a door to reveal a whole room filled with a pink and black.

"Dis Alice!" I exclaimed in French. "Tu amies francais, n'est-ce pas?"

"Si si. Je trés adore francais!"

"C'est un beau chambre."

"Merci. Now let's decide your outfit. Hmm…you know I actually do like your style. A little too edgy for me, but it's cool. Tonight I believe you shall wear this. She held out an absolutely beautiful dark blue blouse and dark red skirt, followed by some awesome sauce light blue slip-ons. Hurriedly, I got dressed. The boys and Rose were coming soon and I wanted to be ready. Apparently however, I didn't need to rush, for Rose was coming here to get ready here.

She soon arrived clad with a very expensive looking outfit and tonight's torture devices. These in the form of a curling iron and make-up. Fan freakin' tastic. Soon she began work on my hair, curling each into perfect ringlets. Alice applied silver eye shadow and a pale pink lip gloss. Of course no blush, for that could be supplied on it's own. Rose and Alice soon finished on themselves and we headed to the boys. Apparently they too went for a transformation, for each was wearing nicer pants and button up shirts. Whatever. Edward, of course, looked gorgeous, so I had to try my hardest not to have my jaw drop to the floor. I opted for smiling, that wouldn't embarrass me as much. The boys, however, weren't so lucky. Of course, when Emmet and Jasper saw their girls, their eyes lit up. You could practically feel the love. Aww.

What I _wasn't _expecting was their reaction to me. As I've probably mentioned, I have never thought myself particularly pretty. Just plain. I thought today might be a slight upgrade with all the special attention. However, as I descended the last few steps, Emmet, who'd been looking at Rose with nothing short of desire, turned to me; his jaw nearly touched the floor. Jasper who'd been looking at Alice as though he was a blind man looking at the sun for the first time had to do a double take. And Edward? Well his expression was a hard to decipher. Perhaps a mixture of how Emmet and Jasper looked at their girls, except he had a big grin on his face. When I walked up to him he almost looked flustered.

"Bella," he breathed. "You look…words cannot describe it. Beautiful is such an inappropriate word, almost insulting with the way you look! Gorgeous! Magnificent! I blushed bright red, probably clashing with my skirt, but Edward just smiled bigger effectively making my breath catch.

"You might be a little biased," I told him.

"Hardly! I know what I see, I have excellent eyesight."

"Ok people, let's go!" Alice commanded. I walked along, surprised when Edward wound an arm around my waist. I figured it was to keep me from falling.

"Thank you."

"For what?" he asked, confused.

"The support," I told him, patting his hand. "No way will my butt and the floor have a reunion now."

"Of course not!" he said, in mock offense. "Not while I'm around."

"Why thank you, noble knight."

"Anytime, fair maiden. Though that's not the reason I'm doing this."

We had reached Emmet's Jeep by now, so I had to wait to ask Edward what he meant. However, as the radio turned on, an absolutely incredible song blasted through the speakers interrupting my thought process.

_"Love me cancerously. _

_Like a salt soar soaked in the sea._

_High maintenance means,_

_You're a gluttonous queen,_

_Narcissistic and mean,"_ I belted out, Rose and Alice took up harmony. And the guys? Well Emmet looked on the verge of laughter, we must've looked a little silly. Jasper was watching Alice, amused. Edward was watching me with that awed but this time humored expression.

"We went to the movie and I'm sorry but I'll never EVER see another scary movie as long as I live. I'll be surprised if I can actually sleep tonight. The whole time I had to bury my head in Edward's chest and the one time I look, guts come spewing out of the person. Are you serious? There weren't even any vampires, werewolves, or zombies, not even a crazed barber. Just some weirdo stalker and annoying main character. Lame sauce.

But Edward just rubbed soothing circles on my back the whole time, telling me it'd be fine. Aww. See why I love him?

As I went to bed, I felt rather sad. Alice had said Edward liked me, and perhaps he did, but I was in love. Like, was such an inconsequential word. I liked the color red and staying up late on the computer. I liked watching old sappy chick-flicks in my pajamas while eating a chocolate bar. Like, was so…_insignificant_. I eventually fell asleep, but it was restless. Dreams flashed across my mind, the worst one where a stalker was after me and in the end, Edward saved me only to say he thought I was Tanya, and vanish.

However as I began to wake up I decided not to let my dreams take me down. If Edward did not love me now or ever, it was time I accepted it.

I quickly showered and threw on a dark purple fitted sweater dress with bright blue leggings and platform converses. Righteous, I know. Today I'd go more natural with the make-up, browns, golds, pinks. However, my hair I braided into two long pig tails. WOO!!! I carefully walked downstairs, Edward wasn't there to catch me, you see. Emmet, of course, _was_ there, scarfing down his breakfast.

"You look very nice again Bells," Emmet said, chewing his food.

"Thanks."

"You OK sis? You look a little down."

"Oh, I'm fine," I shrugged. _Damn it!_ I thought. _Guess I'm not a good hider._

"Well you should be. After Ed saw you last night, I'm surprised he can walk. He told me you were the most special thing on the planet. He'd probably be the one exception to my no boys rule…" he tilted his head thoughtfully. A rarity for Emmet. I laughed and shook my head, my sad mood a little more at ease. I'd be read for today.

* * *

A/N: Obviously I don't own that song either. Its Love Me Dead by Ludo. I recommend looking that song up, it's amazing and fits very will with Twilight. Oh, and I apologize if I got any of the French wrong, but my teacher did check it and said it was fine...she wasn't that great though. Anyway, please, please, please review! I'll send you all some Edward's that will keep your butt from having a reunion with the floor...even if you're not clumsy like dear Bells. But only if you send me some feed-back. Deal?


	7. Gray Hairs

A/N: Well well well, what do we have here? Another chapter? Looks like it. So enjoy and thank you to my loyal reviewers. You guys rock Edward Cullen's socks! Which, in my opinion are the best socks to be rocked.

Disclaimer: Do I have to say it? It crushes my dreams. Sigh. Fine. I do not own Twilight. If I did, it would probably have more Jasper in it, anyway.

**

* * *

**8. Happy Birthday Eddie!

About a year passed since then. I'd be sixteen soon. An age I heard changed your life. I'd get to drive; I'd be an adult in two years. Sounded all right to me, but I could only focus on one thing. Edward: the soon to be seventeen year old, starting tomorrow. Consequently, we were going to have a party for him. Edward and me? Well, we became nothing more than best (flinch) friends (cringe). And it hurt! A sharp pain zinged in my chest at the thought of him, almost as strong as the shocks _caused_ by him. Sometimes, it seemed he cared-a flash of emotion in his eyes, a romantic phrase passing from his lips every now and then, but nothing more.

It had become increasingly worse, especially now that everyone (aside from the Eddie-boy himself) knew my feelings. Alice told Rose, though she had already assumed as much, what with all the hugging and what she called flirting. And, of course, Jasper being the ever present empathy he is, could feel my emotions after the first two days. Then there was Emmett. As you know, Emmett had expressed his sentiments concerning Edward the morning after that movie night. And once he'd told me I'd been perkier and brighter than I had been before. My love was blatantly obvious, even to Emmett…and that's saying something. As much as I loved my friends and my brother, at one point, it had been almost fatal letting them know. Especially when they quadruple teamed me, trying to get me to confess to Edward.

We had been sitting in my room, doing nothing and just chillaxing when the ambush began.

"So Bella," Jasper had started. "Tell us what your ideal man is!"

Too embarrassed and shocked by the demand, I remained silent. "I bet," Alice chipped in. "A tall, reddish brown haired boy. You know, like Robert Pattinson, in that one movie."

My stare turned into a mortified glare, feeling unusual tension coming from Edward, who sat beside me.

"Or what's that guys name from that book, Anthony Masen?" Rosalie added.

Emmett, the oh so simple one, couldn't be more frank. "How 'bout Ed here! He meets those standards." Once Edward excused himself, clearly uncomfortable, I almost ripped their heads off.

"I swear vengeance on you people!" I hissed in disgust.

But they merely laughed. "Stop being so romanticidal, silly Bella!" Alice waved me off.

"Yeah," Jasper chuckled. "You can't pull off Sweeney Todd."

"You all deserve to die." But my singing was soft, and they didn't hear.

Currently, Edward was already over at my house. The rest had gone out on a double date and, apparently, we didn't want to intrude. Or so Alice said. She thought a night in would be romantic and cozy. "A chance for you guys to spill!" I chose to ignore her. Although, in full honesty, I really did want to. It got exhausting and painful to keep a secret from the best friend who I loved so much. But alas, my heart wanted to protect itself in the cocoon of ignorance and bliss.

I took a deep breath, gripping the sodas tighter in my hand. My heart beat rapidly in my chest, but the moment I entered the room, his smile put me more at ease.

"Thanks," he said grabbing a can. "I could have gotten them"

I shrugged, taking a sip. "You're my guest, dear Eddie."

He smirked, his eyes disbelieving and I knew why. We spent every waking hour together. Either I was at his house, or he at mine or we were somewhere together. Even in my dreams, he was there!

"So Eddie boy," I began, laying on my bed and leaning against the pillow. He lay down on the opposite side. The better to see his stunning face. "How you feelin'? You'll be seventeen in a matter of hours."

"I feel…quite different, actually." He looked at me in wonder. One of those looks. _That_ look.

"What?" I asked, a little self-conscious from his gaze.

"Nothing, it's just, I realized a lot has changed since I met you."

"For the better, I hope,"

"Of course! You heard Alice last summer. I've been happier than I ever thought I would…."

"I'm glad….Why weren't you happy before?" Curiosity had gotten the better of me, but my question made him uncomfortable.

"Well…" he began, hesitantly. "About two years ago, when I still lived in Chicago, I was in a horrible accident." He paused once after my gasp, then continued. "That wasn't the worst part. It wasn't my fault or anything. I know that's probably hard to believe, due to my way of driving, but it's true. Anyway, there was a little boy in the other car…and he died. I felt awful. For a while there, I actually did think it was my fault and afterward, we had to move here. Many people had blamed me.

"Since then, I kind of became a loner, depressed and angsty. I left Forks last summer to visit my aunt there. She used to cheer me up when I was little. And she did a bit, but the ride on the plane changed everything. You have no idea…." He looked down, almost ashamed. I hated to see my Edward like that, so I grabbed his hand firmly between mine and he squeezed it in response.

"You made me believe again…." In love, I added mentally. He looked at me questioningly, but I checked the time to distract him. Word vomit, my arch nemesis…next to my feet…and the ground. "Are you staying for dinner, it's almost eight?"

"Nah. My mom is having a party tonight with the family so the group can celebrate tomorrow. I'll talk to you later." We got up and headed for the door.

"Night Eddie! Call me at twelve, OK? Then you can go to sleep." He nodded, clearly curious. Before I couldn't help myself, I kissed his cheek and opened the door. He left as though in a daze. Hmm…interesting…

At midnight, I got the call. I felt bad, considering Edward usually went to bed early where as I could stay up rather late. Still, I deemed this necessary.

"Hello, dear Edward."

"Whey hello there, my Bella. To what do I owe this lovely late night call?"

"I'm now the first person to say this to you, and I want it to be perfect." I paused and it sounded like he'd stopped breathing. Cool! I'm good with suspense!

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" And I sang the birthday song.

"Thank you, that's the nicest present I've ever gotten." He actually sounded sincere.

I stared at the phone, then replied. "Your best present was being kept up to hear some crazy girl sing a song? What kind of scary ass presents has Alice gotten you?"

"Um…a permanent shopping buddy?"

I shivered. "You're right that is pretty bad."

"Besides you're voice is the most beautiful sound in the world. If I could, that would be what I'd want for my birthday."

I laughed lightly to hide my embarrassment. "I'll look for a box to put it in. But for now birthday boy needs sleep."

"Sweet dreams, my Bella," he whispered.

"Sleep well," I replied softly. "Try not to have nightmares about a crazy girl who keeps you up."

"I can only dream of you, Bella. Only dreams contain sweet things. Goodnight." And he hung up, leaving me in stunned and flattered silence.

O

M

E

!!!

He was the sweet, if not mushy, one.

* * *

The next morning was much the same as any other, though I did get to wish Edward a happy birthday…again. He was standing outside with Alice, Jasper and Rosalie. Emmett ran straight to his "flower" with a loud 'happy birthday' to Edward. I walked up and jumped on his back placing a big smacking kiss on his cheek. "Happy b-day Eddie!" I sang, and then laughed at the lip gloss imprint I left on his now rather pink cheek and wiped it away. "You feelin' old now, grandpa?"

"Well… yes, now you say_ that_. See any gray hairs up there?"

Ah, what a wonderful excuse to run my hands through his soft locks. "No…wait yep, here's one!" I plucked a very light colored hair out and handed it to him.

"Oh great," he groaned. "Now two are going to grow in its place."

"Aw, little Eddie's all grown up. Don't you remember the good ole' days when you'd run around outside naked, screaming, 'I am a vaaaapmiiire!?'" He staggered slightly, turning his head to see me better.

"How did you know about that?" he demanded.

"Alice," I stated simply, making a huge effort not to laugh.

"Figures," he grumbled. "I'll get back at her….Someday." However, we both knew that was an empty threat.

The rest of the day was spent doing whatever the hell Edward liked to do. Swimming, bowling, sliding in our socks in the grocery stores….OK that was my idea, but he liked it!

At eight, we all decided to head to Port Angeles to see a movie and whom did we see, but the devil and her loyal sidekick?

* * *

A/N: You know the drill. Pretend you are a vampire and the only way you can satiate your thirst for this story is if you review it. Cuz more reviews equals quicker chapters! Thank you!


	8. Excessive Girlyness

A/N: Good morning Starshine! The Earth says, "hello!" Except, it's not morning and the earth has never spoken to me. Anyway, hope you like this chapter and thank you to those who reviewed. And lots of you were rather sad that they still aren't together. Well, honestly that won't be happening for a while. I must make them suffer a little longer, so Bella can live that happy life she forshadowed in the beginning. Patience is a virtue, even if you are like Emmett.

Dislaimer: "Say it! Outloud! Say it!"

"A disclaimer!"

"Are you afraid?"

"Not really. A tad disappointed I don't own Twilight? Sure. But not scared. You won't bite me will you? Will you?!

Silence.

"OK, _now_ I'm scared! Do disclaimers even _have _fangs? Or venom for that matter?"

* * *

9. Excessive Girlyness

"Happy Birthday, Edward," Tanya said with a bright smile. And she actually seemed genuine. Mike hadn't so much as glanced in my direction.

"Oh er thank you," Edward replied, just as surprised as we were at Tanya's sincerity. Had Tanya and Mike realized Edward and I would never do there bidding? It seemed so, though my instincts told me they never would. Still, I found it hard to be rude.

"Would you guys like to join us? We were going to the movies…."

"Oh!" Tanya was shocked and Edward shot me a glare of disbelief. "We'd love to. Thanks."

I shrugged, shooting Edward a pointed glance. Maybe if we acted polite and friendly toward the Leech Cousins (love the nickname) they would get off our backs. (No pun intended.)They didn't speak much, mostly listened, which, I suppose, was only to be expected. None of us cared much for them. Even the peppy pixie who loved almost every living thing despised the two.

We arrived at the movie theater, the one Edward and I loved to go to. It wasn't exactly a theater, so much as a place with a projection screen. But the screen was housed in an ancient Victorian style mansion and old movies in black and white were a common staple. Tonight's feature: _Cool Hand Luke_. A classic, right? And _Gilmore Girls_ would certainly be proud of us.

After the masterpiece was viewed, we all headed for dinner at a nice Italiano restaurant to open the presents. I had gotten him a CD, or rather made him one. I knew it was cliché to do so, but this one was special.

"Le compilation d'Isabelle," Edward read off the title. A grin slowly spread across his face.

"Now before you say it's lame, have an open mind. I did the theme songs to each and everyone of us. And added a few new favorites. I don't know, I-"

"Breathe Bella," Edward reminded me, chuckling. I suppose I'd been more nervous than I'd thought. "I love it." He leaned over, kissing my cheek efficiently ending my speech and making me swoon. Thankfully, he didn't notice.

* * *

Unfortunately, Alice did. After we'd said goodnight to the Leeches, and arrived at the Cullen's, Alice demanded girl time. As always. And who was I to say no? Before said girl time could commence, I insisted I take a shower grabbing my emerald green pajamas (who do you think they'd remind me of?) and took off for her bathroom.

But I knew I couldn't put off the inevitable for any longer, so with a heavy heart I got dressed and opened the door to see Girl 1 and Girls 2 standing on the other side of the door, arms crossed and faces impassive. I flopped down on Alice's fluffy pink bed, groaning into the pillow.

"This is getting ridiculous, Bella!" Alice exploded finally.

"Keep it down, Ali," I muttered, my voice muffled by the pinkness. "I don't think Edward's heard you yet."

"It'd be better if he had," Rose protested, sitting down beside me. "I mean, if you're so against telling him, at least he'd know."

I sat up, taking in a deep breath, my face setting into a determined mask. "Alright, if I haven't told him in two weeks, I'll tell him then." I grimaced. "Maybe I will be able to persuade him we can remain friends, if he doesn't reciprocate my feelings."

"He will!" Alice assured me.

"Or we'll sick Jasper and Emmett on him, and they'll _make_ him feel that way for you," Rosalie chimed in, menacingly.

I grinned despite myself, and we laughed. Man, I loved my friends! Especially after Rose let out a _very_ girl giggle. That caused even more hysterics.

"Man, I didn't know I was capable of such a laugh!" Rosalie stated, shocked.

"And here I thought Alice was the girly one in the group," I teased.

"She's rubbing off on me, Bella!" Rose exclaimed in horror.

Alice giggled quite sadistically before it turned into an evil cackle. "Muawhahahaha!!!" Then she got up trying to spread her girlyness even more.

"Run away!!" Rose and I shrieked, dashing out the door.

Alice chased after us, and we screamed (and laughed) running through the halls. I ran straight to Edward's room, the place I slept most soundly. Rosalie opted for the kitchen. Poor her, she'd have to race down those stares. Luckily (for me anyway), Alice chose Rosalie to be her victim.

When I opened the door, I collided with a hard, but warm, wall. Edward's arms wrapped securely around me, his chest rumbling with laughter.

"You all right?" he asked me, pulling back to see my face.

I grinned. "Well, _now_ I am. Alice almost plagued me with her excessive girlyness!"

His eyes widened in faux shock. "Oh no!" He embraced me again. "I'm glad you are safe. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"I no!" I 'sobbed.' "That was terrifying!" But eventually we had to go to bed.

I climbed into his giant bed pulling the gold comforter over me. But then I paused, frozen. Edward had turned off the light, but I could see from the moon shining through the window. He crawled in beside me, oblivious to my current state.

Finally, noticing my shocked gaze, Edward's brow furrowed in confusion. "Bella what-"

"Your sheets are hot pink, Edward!" I breathed in disbelief.

He blinked a moment, glanced down, then ever so softly, a blush grew on his face.

"Oh er yes. It's…well, it's my favorite color," he stuttered.

I bit my lip to suppress my laughter. "Why?"

But his eyes narrowed, appraising my pajamas. The ones I always wore…they gave me good dreams. What can I say?

"You always were those," he observed, reading my mind like he so often did. And he thought I was hard to read! "Why?"

I shifted uncomfortably, feeling my face betray me. "It's _my_ favorite color."

"Why are you blushing?" Edward asked, all smug.

"I don't know! I'm beginning to think my face has a mind of it's own!"

Impatience and annoyance flickered in his eyes. Emotions I rarely arose in him. "Why's green your favorite color?" he demanded.

"Why's pink yours?"

"You're being evasive!"

"So are you!"

"Fine, when you can tell me, I'll tell you!"

"Fine!"

"FINE!!"

We turned away from each other, huffing and exasperated. But then, the urge to see if he was really mad got the better of me. I turned on my other side…at the exact same time he did. We smiled awkwardly, suddenly bashful.

"I don't bite, you know," he murmured, emerald eyes twinkling softly.

I looked at him warily. "You sure about that?"

He sighed, and I noticed a flash of regret cross his face. "Come here," he insisted, wrapping his arms tightly around me. I rested my head on his chest, tucking it under his chin.

"I'm sorry for my temper," he muttered.

I laughed softly. "It was a silly fight anyway." But he was still tensed around me. "Really!" I assured him, picking my head up. Woah! We were closer than I thought. "Don't worry! I still love you, man!" Ha ha I told him! Sort of….I kissed his cheek for emphasis, then layed my head back down and he finally relaxed, inhaling the scent from my hair. How vampiric!

And in that moment everything was completely perfect…except he didn't know I truly loved him and I didn't know if he even liked me. But those were just minor things. Nothing to worry about. Hmm…I really suck at lying!

* * *

A/N: So there you have it! What'd you think! If you don't review I'll have Alice come and attack you with her excessive girlyness. So please please please review!

Oh and I want to recommend an excellent new story:

3. **Love** In **Peculiar** **Places** » by Besotted Brunettes reviews

Who would have thought that **love** would find me...while wearing penny loafers? Bella Swan is the shy, new girl at PLB who stumbles across something, or someone, who would change everything forever.

Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 23,334 - Reviews: 41 - Updated: 7-21-09 - Published: 5-27-09 - Bella & Edward

So check it out. It's absolutely hilarious!


	9. Blushing Tag

A/N: So I was wowed by your reviews for the last chapter. I didn't know it was that funny, so thank you very much. This chapter is not my favorite (not as funny as the last one, I don't think) but necessary. So enjoy!

Disclaimer: Yesterday, some random guy off the street started yelling obscenities at me because I was bragging about owning Twilight. He said if I did so again, he would sick the Volturi on me. I don't know about you, but he looked mysteriously similar to Caius so I'm not taking any chance. Twilight is not mine!

* * *

10. Blushing Tag

I awoke with a start, a muted light streaming in from the glass wall in Edward's house. That's right: wall. Not _window_. The Cullens always had to be a step ahead. My cheeks burned suddenly and I wondered why. Perhaps my face really _did_ have a mind of its own and decided to blush at random times. But when I turned to look at my companion who occupied the space beside me, I realized he was the reason for my blush. Somehow my face knew before I did that the love of my life was watching me. I wasn't really surprised though, because he always woke up first. What _did_ surprise me, was the intensity of his stare.

I raised my brows in question. "What's up?" I sat forward to stretch, and he shook his head, deliberating.

"Nothing, I-" he sighed. "You were sleep talking again."

Just as a blush fades, a new one begins! But that's life I suppose. Mine at least. I rolled my eyes with a resigned sigh. "And what secrets did I reveal last night. My long harboring obsession with all things Harry Potter?"

He smiled slightly though his eyes remained serious. "You said my name." His tone took on a strange quality, almost reverent and I watched him curiously. He sighed. "And then you said you were happy but that you didn't know about something."

"Oh." What else _could_ I say?

"Didn't know what, Bella?" he asked softly. Before I could reply however, Emmett appeared.

"Bells, you'll never guess who's here. He called me, and I invited him over!" He almost looked like Alice, the way he was jumping up in down. But, you know, a tad larger and more masculine.

"Who?" I asked distracted and suddenly excited. It was contagious.

"JAMES!" My eyes widened.

"Where?! _Where?!_"

"Did I hear my favorite lady in the world?" And suddenly James Tracker stood before me. His hair was a long yellow blond, eyes an almost colorless shade of blue. He smiled widely, the smile that always reminded me of a vampire by how long his canines were. It was no secret that my old friend was dangerously attractive.

"Ahh!" I screamed, jumping into his arms. Of course, no shocks there, but it was nice to see him. "Jimmy what are you doing here? How've you been?"

"Good Bellsy! How've _you_ been?" He released me, and mussed up my hair.

"Absolutely wonderful. I have such great friends here!" I glanced at Edward with a smile but he was strangely quiet, staring at James with a blank expression.

"Oh, and you haven't missed me at all?" he asked in mock hurt.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, silly. How's Ms. Vicky doing?" She was the last girlfriend he'd had before he left.

"Gee Bells, you're about three girls off. And all ancient history. You?"

"No. Not many show interest. But of course I can't blame them. It's not like I'd want to date the sick guys at school anyway."

"Aw, Bells what are we going to do with you?" he chuckled.

"Get my brain examined because apparently, I'm the most insane girl in Forks."

"Or anywhere else, for that matter."

"You love me anyway though, right?" I asked with a big pout, my bottom lip quivering.

"More than any other person in the world," he told me, eyes twinkling.

"What about me?" shouted Emmett.

James smiled. "Ah, but if you listened, I said _person_. I always thought of you as an…over intelligent bear." Em thought about it for a moment. Over intelligent seemed a bit of an exaggeration to me, but….

"Sweet!" he replied, grinning. He turned his attention to the silent participant in the room, seemingly, oblivious to Edward's tense posture. "Come join the party!" Edward looked to me and I nodded encouragingly. He stood beside me, extending his hand slowly to James. James grasped firmly, and they stared at each other (more like stared each other down) and didn't exactly shake hands but tried to see who could cause more damage. I released a breath I didn't know I'd been holding, when they let go, feeling a little proud of Edward when James winced.

"James Tracker," Jimmy introduced himself belatedly, a tight grin on his face. "Bestest friend of Bells here." He hugged me firmly, and to be honest, I was uncomfortable.

"Very nice to me you," Edward said, too formal and very ironically. He did not smile, an uncommon brooding expression on his glorious face. I recognized it faintly from the brief run in at the airport last year. He'd looked very similar. A sad sigh from Emmett made me glance at my brother and he rolled his eyes at me. It made me think it wasn't the first time Emmett had seen this expression on my best friend. And he'd probably seen it more than I had.

"He's my best friend," I finished, shrugging out of James' grasp to hold onto Edward's arm. A flash of emotion crossed James' face, but it was gone in an instant. "Well, let's go Emmy. We need to show Jimmy his room at the house. Would you like to stay in my room or Em's. Either one of us will stay with our respective buddies." I winked at Edward and he smiled his crooked smiled. I blushed as a soft chuckle escaped him.

"Em's," he replied, rather harshly then caught himself. "Sorry," he cleared his throat. "I don't feel comfortable staying in a ladies' room." Edward rolled his eyes slightly and I frowned. My two best friends were not getting along like I wanted. It confused me greatly.

"Hah!" Emmett laughed. "She's not a lady. Alien is more like it." James laughed but I was defiant. As, unexpectedly, was Edward.

"Hey!" we both shouted. I looked at him, but his face was cast downward, a familiar pale pink blush blooming on his cheeks.

"See," I smiled smugly. "Some guys appreciate my individuality."

James laughed. "That's the reason we love you Bella. You're so different from other girls, perhaps you _are_ an alien."

"I'm out of this world?" I raised an eyebrow, skeptical.

"More like galaxy," Edward added quietly and it was once again my turn to blush. Hey, a sport I could win at! Blushing Tag. I could be an Olympic champion. And then they should have the Falling Down Marathon. I can see it now….

"Well, it's time for this alien to get back her own planet, so we should go." We headed down to the living room where Alice, Jasper, and Rose were talking on the couch.

"I'll see you tomorrow Eddie boy. Au revoir, mon cher ami." I reached up kissing both his cheeks. "Isabelle must return to Paris for the zee croissants and vine." Edward was blushing again when I pulled back and I had to smile. 'You're it!' I shouted mentally.

"See ya guys." I turned to my friends. "We have to take James home."

"I'm staying with you for a while. Is that all right, Rosie?" Emmett asked with his dimpled smile. Who could resist that?

"I don't know, what will you give me?" Apparently _she_ could. She got up to see what he would give her. Ew.

"Au revoir, mes copains!" I turned to everyone and dramatically began saying good bye, even though I'd most likely be seeing them tomorrow. "Adios amigos. Arrivederci. Salut. Tootles! T T N F N Ta Ta for now! I walked outside, James, Emmett, and my friends laughing behind me.

"Oh shoot, I left my keys guys! I'll be right back." He returned after ten minutes and we got into the Jeep. I noticed James' expression and was immediately suspicious. He looked happy, of course, but there was something else. A smug, superior smirk growing on his lips. Something was up.

James had been slightly territorial when he'd met Edward, so perhaps his big brother instincts were taking over, even though he was the same age as me. I wondered if he had warned Edward. The mere thought of Edward getting The Talk about dating me, caused the ever present blush to warm my face. I was slightly annoyed with James but also touched that he cared so much.

"So Bells," James started saying, as we got inside the house, taking a place on the couch. I hesitated a moment, then sat down beside him. Emmett headed straight for the fridge despite the fact he'd eaten with Rose, Alice and Jasper. "Any boys on the horizon?" Though I knew he'd asked, I was slightly taken aback by his bluntness.

"No," I answered carefully. I was aware my voice had taken on a wistful tone and James noticed too.

"They don't express interest," he stated knowingly and I frowned, slightly insulted. Did Edward express interest? The obvious answer.

"Yes, he er _they_ do, they just don't act on it." James watched me, thoughtfully.

"Do you wish they would?"

I sighed in defeat. "I wish a certain guy would." The all-knowing expression remained in his eyes.

"Ah." He said, nodding like a doctor inspecting his patient. "I see." And there seemed nothing more to be said. Though I was far from sure.

* * *

A/N: Hey you with the face! Yeah, I'm talking to you! Review or I shall sick the Volturi on you! Just kidding. I don't think they would listen to me but hey you never know. Do I scare you? Grr! See, I'm ferocious when I'm threatening. Anyway, please review. If you do, I'll try to get out a chapter sooner than usual. School starts here in the middle of August which sucks like a vampire and I wanted to finish the story before I have too much homework that I can't update anymore. But reviewing always speeds up the process!

Oh, and I also wanted to mention that my bestest friend started a story and, like me, desperately needs feed back. Her story is one of a kind, so you should check it out.

**A** **Known** **Stranger** » by Fredalice394 reviews

Bella moves to the small town of Forks, Washington to get away from the heat. She believes in many strange things and finds out that they are true. She'll meet **a** world famous vampire, Dracula. Will she survive, run, or be the count's new wife?

Twilight - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,826 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 8-2-09 - Published: 7-20-09 - Bella & Edward


	10. Just Call Me Ms Angst

A/N: I'm probably rushing this too much, huh? I only got two reviews last chapter but I understand why. I promised someone that I would come out with this one quickly but, you know, I want a lot of reviews for this story just so my later endeavors will have a lot of support. But I also want to get this story out before I'm buried with homework. AP classes may be very well and good, prestigious and all that crap, but they sure are time consuming! Anyways, enjoy this chapter as much as you can. My first attempt at drama, sort of, at least on fanfic. Though, in _my_ Bella's case, I made it a tad more quirky.

Disclaimer: "Dislaimer, Disclaimer! Wherefore art thou, Disclaimer! Deny thy Stephanie Meyer and refuse thy name."

"That's OK. I'm good!"

Wouldn't that be sad if Romeo had replied like that? Puts a whole other spin on tragedy, huh?

* * *

"We can't be friends anymore."

I blinked once, my brow furrowed. "What?" I asked stupidly, though I'd heard him well enough.

"We can't be-"

"_Why_?" I interrupted incredulously.

"It's…" Edward sighed looked away. "Complicated."

My eyes narrowed and I crossed my arms as though they could protect me from the pain his words might bring. "What the hell does that mean, Edward?"

He winced, either at my tone or the fact that I'd used his full name, which I rarely did. Eddie had been my signature thing. Only _I_ called him that. But right now, I could care less. "I just…." His gaze locked with mine suddenly and his emerald eyes no longer sparkled. They were filled with an inexplicable pain I longed to comfort, but knew I could not. Because it was _he_ who had decided this. "Look, can't you just get mad at me and leave?"

"I'm not mad," I snapped defensively and he raised an eyebrow, skeptical, which kind of made sense. I stepped forward. "I'm furious and confused and _hurt_." It was uttered in a whisper and his gaze returned to the floor. "Fine, Edward. Don't tell me. But you should know that…" I stopped, blinked, took in a deep breath. My voice came out shaky. "You will_ always_ be the best friend I've ever had." And before the tears could fall in his presence, I ran back to my house.

* * *

That had been a week ago, a long painful week. It always made me laugh bitterly to myself how pathetic that whole meeting had been. The morning after James had arrived, I'd been greeted with a text from my favorite boy. He wanted to meet in the woods behind my house. Not exactly unusual, for he often dragged me out there to experience my 'natural spirit from with in.' I normally protested, but after the whole fiasco with the Jimster (Hah! He _hated_ that nickname), I welcomed the quality time.

That is, until I met my best friend with that brooding expression upon his face that was fast becoming common and familiar. You know, it's unusual to suffer from a broken heart. Sound like an angsty, depressing thing? Well, Secondhand Serenade _is_ one of my favorite bands. Anyway, I'd never believed it when somebody could be hurt in that way, so deep and painful, you can't even scream to release it. And there's no way to mend it either. No stitches, no band-aid. As horrible as it had been to keep my love from him a secret, it was even worse _not_ to see him. _And_ still love him. Even more depressing? I wouldn't allow myself to cry or wallow. That was too pathetic. I'd admitted my heart was broken, something I wouldn't have believed could even happen. I wouldn't give in to anything else.

Luckily, I still had my friends. They were, in one word, supportive. Jasper, Alice, and Rose would come over and we (including Emmett and James, of course) would all watch movies or just talk. But it never felt complete and though I hated it, I always felt guilty, because I knew that if they were here with me, Edward was alone. Not to mention the fact that no one seemed to like James much, and, honestly, I couldn't blame them. My friend had changed. And not in a good way. He was rude and conceited and always always _always_ being uncomfortably touchy-feely with me. Stroking my arm, hugging me closely, kissing me randomly on my cheek, my head, my hand, once on my neck. Shudders. And flirting incessantly. Why? I don't know. And part of me didn't want to know. But I _did_ know that he would be leaving soon, so I took it all with good grace.

Though James had always been a fairly intuitive person, I was surprised he never picked up on my mood. Or anyone else's for that matter. He was completely carefree, even more so than Emmett and that's saying something.

How did Emmett, the protective big brother feel? Surprisingly Swiss. That is to say, he was one of two who took no side, or rather, he took both sides. Alice was completely adamant about being on mine, despite my protests that there were none to choose from in the first place.

"Girls got to stick together," she'd said. Something Rosalie seemed pretty fierce about as well. And Jasper was, as always, stuck in a turmoil of emotions and stayed neutral. I suspected the guys knew why Edward had so abruptly put an end to our friendship. Which made me think that if he got my own brother to be supportive of him, my still best friend and love of my life had a pretty good reason to quit speaking to me. One I promised myself I would find out. No matter what. Too bad I was as scared to ask him, as I was to tell him my feelings….

* * *

"Bella, Bells, wake up!" a soft voice whispered, and I detected a suppressed excitement in my brother's tone that made me open my eyes. The rain was beating incessantly against the window, rain drops running down the glass like tear marks and I had to look away. That looked too close to how I was feeling right now.

"What's wrong Emmy?" I asked quickly, wiping away the sleep from my eyes.

He grinned and I knew there was no immediate danger. "James is leaving today."

I grinned despite myself. As mean as it was, Emmett and I had been longing for this day. No more Jimmy. I sprang out of bed, and my brother, left chuckling at my sudden joy. Racing to my dresser and almost crumpling in a heap when I tripped on something (happiness always made me clumsier), I racked through the clothes to find the band shirt James had given me long ago. It was smaller now, but not embarrassingly so. The band, however, was a different story….

* * *

"Oh my God!" James snorted when I took off my jacket in the airport. He burst into laughter and I grinned. It was the least I could do.

Emmett turned and chuckled. "Spice Girls Bella, really?"

"Hey," I laughed. "It was all Jimmy. He bought it for me. He was the one who partook in the rocking out."

He rolled his eyes. "That's only because I thought they were hot."

"Really?!" I asked as though I were surprised. "Not because they had such _inspirational_ song lyrics as I recall you saying?"

He had the decency to look embarrassed, but smiled. "What was that one we used to always sing?"

I thought about it a moment, then grinned. "'If you Wanna be My Lover!' But you _demanded_ we learn the dance moves to 'Stop.'

We turned on the radio and were laughing hysterically when one of their songs came on. Just kidding. The fates aren't _that _specific, and somehow I don't think my destiny possesses much _spice_ in it, if you dig what I'm laying down. But it was nice to leave things on such a good note.

* * *

The one thought that I could think was, _ew_. Nothing else could penetrate my mind, hideously disgusted as I was. His mouth initially didn't taste bad. It appeared he'd been chewing gum or breath mints the entire ride here without my knowledge. I'll never like mint much again. Thanks a lot buddy! But really, here? He had to confess _here?_ In _public?_ My eyes were open and I could slightly see a little boy staring wide-eyed at us. 'I'm sorry for the mental images and eternal scarring, dude!'

James' grip was strong but with all my will power, I threw the face-sucker off. Not impressively, but it got the desired affect. He pulled back and waited for a reaction.

"What…the hell…was that?" I gasped, as wide-eyed as the now forever changed little boy.

James smiled widely. "_That_ would be a kiss, dear Bella."

I pouted. "Well, no shit, Sherlock. I kind of guessed. Why were you _doing_ it?"

"Bella! Man, I swear, you must be blind!" I stared at him and he took a deep breath still smiling, happy as ever. "You really never knew, huh? Remember that day when you, Jake, Laurent, Victoria, and I were playing Truth or Dare?"

"Yes…." I answered slowly, not seeing where he was going with this. "Victoria really liked you so she insisted on it." I'd disliked her and her rather witch with a b ways, but they had made a good couple. "She wanted me to dare you to kiss her."

"Did she?" he asked momentarily distracted, then shook his head. "That's funny, because that's what Laurent did. You know, dare me to kiss you."

"And you did!"

"Yeah," he sighed, seemingly far away. "And it felt so wonderful. Like hot chocolate on a cold day."

"_No way_," I breathed, stunned.

James stared at me now, finally picking up on my mortification and disgust, though I tried to hide them. His brow furrowed. "Aren't…aren't I the guy you said you had feelings for?"

I snapped my eyes shut and grabbed his hand. Unfortunately, he took that as a sign of encouragement and tightened his grip. "James," I told him quietly. "You weren't the guy."

He released his hand sharply and backed away. "O-oh!" he exclaimed in disbelief. Then his eyes flashed to coldness. Leave it to James to feel no embarrassment at being rejected. Just stone cold fury. "Who is it then?"

I looked down, blushing. "Edward," I mumbled, wondering if he could even hear me.

"Should've known," he muttered darkly. Apparently he could. I bet he has super bat-like hearing. It went with his 'fangs.' Maybe James was a vampire! Wouldn't be too surprised.

"I'm sorry Jimmy," I told him sincerely. "I'm not the girl for you."

He frowned and released a breath. "You could have been." After a moment he added, "I'm sorry the idea repulses you."

"It doesn't!" I said too quickly. He raised an eyebrow. "OK," I smiled sheepishly. "So I wanted to puke. Lots of people dig that in a relationship."

He rolled his eyes but laughed. "Well you can't say I didn't try." He shrugged then glanced at me wistfully. "Just promise to be happy." And without letting me say good-bye, he walked to his gate. So much for leaving things on a good note. I wondered if I'd ever see him again. I wondered if I really cared.

In a daze, I made my way back to Emmett who we'd left standing by a T.V. watching a football game.

"What'd he want?" he demanded at once, noticing my stunned expression.

"Me!" I breathed.

"Hah!" Ah, how sensitive my brother could be. Like another Jasper, don't you agree? He should become a therapist. I shudder to think what a schizophrenic would be like in his hands. "I knew it all along. You sure are oblivious."

I stared at him. "So I've been told," I muttered dryly.

"Ah, what are we going to do with you Bells?"

God, what was with that phrase! Everywhere I go, somebody had to ask that wretched question. The horse is dead people! It rots in a field, it's spirit is in heaven, let it rest in peace! "Take me to the dentist."

"What?" Emmett looked at me like I was crazy which I probably was.

"I need my mouth cleaned out as thoroughly as possible."

* * *

A/N: Aw, poor Jimmy! Anybody feel bad for him? No one? Oh, well, must be me. I started tearing up there, dude. Just kidding! Anyway, sorry if any of you are die hard Spice Girls or horse fans. I used to like that band too when I was younger and horses are wonderful and beautiful and about any other positive adjective you can think of....Except sexy. I don't think horses are particularly sexy, but hey some people probably are weird like that and do dig animals. And did anyone catch my little rhyme in there? Hmm...what else...what else...Oh yes! Review of course! Your feed-back, though not numerous, always make me laugh and smile. So please send me an email of this happiness and I will be eternally grateful.


	11. Freak Show

A/N: Naaa What's up doc? OK, so it seems to have been a while since I posted, huh? But after much insistence from one reader/friend of mine, I felt I could post a chapter two days sooner than planned. Now, much has been decided since the last time I posted. I realized that posting every two days is the wrong thing to do because the most thing I want from this story is reviews and two days is simply not enough time. That being said, I have moved my update date (hmm that's repetitive) to Sunday since I'll have school now. (I hate the fact we start school so early here.) Anyways, Fanfiction's system freaked this past week and that made very sad because I only got two reviews last chapter. But thank you to those who did. I love them. In case that wasn't clear enough.

Disclaimer: Knock Knock

Who's there?

I own

I own who?

I own this joke but I don't own Twilight

Hahahahahahahaha! Wait, that's not funny! I feel jipped.

* * *

12. Freak Show

"It's the only way…."

I stared at Jasper for a moment, completely disbelieving. "You_ have_ to be shitting me, dude."

He grinned suddenly. "Well, duh. You can't actually believe I'd do that."

My stare turned into an appraising glance. "If there was anybody who would send someone to a mental institution, it would be you Jaz."

He frowned. "How do you figure?"

I rolled my eyes, shifting to face him better on the couch in my living room. It was a rare sunny dare in Forks, still nice and cool, just a tad bit more cheerful. "Emmett wouldn't know the first thing about that. I mean, come on? He befriended that homeless guy who talked to his hand in Port Angeles, remember? And he actually believed the hand talked back! Alice, well no offense, Jasper, and as much as it pains me to say it," I placed a hand on his shoulder in comfort. "She's crazy. Manic shopping depressive. I'm sorry to have to tell you that. Rose? Well, she would simply yell at the psycho in question to snap out of it. Has about as much tact as my dear brother." I sighed, and looked away folding my hands in my lap and forcing the words to come out. "And then, of course, you have Edward. Now, in normal circumstances I'd say you and him would be the ones but this is me, remember. Edward's good at reading people. But I'm the exception. And since I _am_ the psycho in question, it would be you who'd force me. Besides, people's expressions and their mental wave lengths, don't exude insanity as much as emotions. And you have a very strong emotion detector, not to be confused with a motion detector. Completely different, but you catch my drift?"

He stared at me, stunned. I may have spoken rather fast. Was it hard for him to keep up? But then his eyes narrowed. "Alice is not crazy!" I smiled. Good, he'd followed.

"So why are you really here? Not that I dislike seeing your face or whatever, it's quite face-ish as far as they go, but you don't usually come alone."

"I have a very face-ish face?" He raised an eyebrow.

I shrugged. "What kind of adjective would _you_ use?"

"I don't know, _you're_ the reader. But wouldn't handsome or stunning be more…appropriate."

I frowned at the criticism. I found the adjective rather lovely. "Why are you here, again?"

"Alright, calm down Bells. I was wondering if you would accompany me somewhere…."

* * *

"The _fair_?!" I exclaimed, incredulous. "You've brought me to the fair?"

Jasper shrugged. "I prefer the term carnival better, but, you know, potato pot-ah-to."

"And _why _are we here?" I glanced around, the bright colors clashing magnificently, a big banner announcing, _The 40th Anniversary of Port Angeles_. A ferris wheel loomed in the distance, like a big wheel of carny cheese or a mini moon that had landed on our planet. Venders sold hot dogs on a stick, deep fried foods everywhere you turned, a cart full of ice for snow cones.

Jasper smiled kindly. "Just thought you could used something different." And I certainly could. We rode many a ride, took pictures in those cardboard cut outs of Homer Simpson (Jasper) and Sponge Bob Square Pants (me). Where they held any connection? I don't know. Perhaps because they are both yellow. We'd just bought two giant sticks of cotton candy, when something caught Jasper's attention. His eyes widened in astonishment and then he turned back to look at me, trying to hide his panic.

"Come on Bells! Why don't we go home. It's been a long day. I bet you're exhausted." My brow furrowed.

"What's going on Jaz?"

"Nothing!" he insisted too quickly. "Nothing at all. Just ah...just ah.... Bella, no!" But it was too late. I was already past him and walking down the dirt road. It didn't take long to realize what had shocked him so much. A projection screen over by the Freak Show booth flashed pictures and my blush intensified to a point I thought incapable, even for me, and I was Blushing Tag Champion.

For there, on the screen, was take after take of my clumsiness. All the footage had been taken at school. Some even_ I_ didn't remember. And then my heart stopped as the credits came on.

_An Edward Cullen Production_

I stared, uncomprehending, as though by watching I could somehow change the name into something different. Could Edward have video taped my every foible and paraded it around a fair? That didn't seem like him at all. And since when did he even_ produce _movies?

"Hey Jasper, Bella!" a chipper voice trilled and I knew instantly, without looking, who it was.

"Alice," I acknowledged, nodding very slightly without turning her way.

"What's going-" A gasp escaped her lips as the she watched the movie replay itself. It wasn't that long, only five minutes, but that seemed to be enough for it had attracted the attention of many a passer-by. Including people from school. "Edward?" she squeaked helplessly.

"Edward," I heard Jasper confirm in a grim voice. "But why?"

"Yes," I muttered. "But why?"

I heard movement behind me and suddenly Emmett and Rosalie had joined us. They were silent as they watched what had captured our attention so completely, but once Edward's name flashed on the screen for the third time in my presence they began shouting. All three of them. Slanders. Cuss words. Insults. Only me and Jasper were silent, looking at each other in helpless confusion. Because neither of us believed Edward would do such a thing. Ever. Not even on his worst enemy…Mike…Tanya….

And in that I knew. Who on this earth would want to sabotage any semblance of a relationship we had between each other? Who would be conniving enough to do research on me and find out that perhaps I had another interest? Tanya, of course! Because if she was stalkerish enough to have a shrine for Edward and follow him out of the state, my guess was she could track down James and plant in his head that he now had competition. _And_ videotape my every blunder. Jasper nodded in confirmation, not in direct communication with my thoughts, but agreeing that Edward was not at fault.

"Well well well….Who have we here? Not innocent little Isabella and her group of goody- too- shoe friends. But where's your beau, Bella? Why isn't your little Eddie here?"

I narrowed my eyes at Tanya who was being tagged by the other leech. Only _I_ call him that, _missy_. But I simply asked, "how?"

Her lips curled up at the ends, reminding me of the Grinch when he hatched a particularly ghastly plan. Mike jumped around like a Mexican Jumping Bean or like he was going to pee his pants…. 'Twas a mystery I didn't care to solve. "Ah, that's the brilliance of it, isn't it? It wasn't hard to keep track of dear Edward. The last time I spoke to him, before you had arrived, I put a bug on him. A little microphone in his jean pocket. Of course, it was pure luck that he happened to wear those jeans the day you had to invade his life, so the fact that you happened to confess your klutziness and that you had a _'friend'_ named James, was complete and utter wonderful coincidence." She smiled wider.

"And it took you this long to track down James?" I asked in disbelief.

Her smile deflated and she scowled. "Alaska is a large state, idiot. Of course it would take a while. Not to mention I had to wire the school to film you in your," she smirked evilly at the video that was playing a particularly bad fall. It made me wince. "_Shining _Glory. And I had little help from the butt munch." She rolled her eyes at Mike. "Because of his pathetic lack in brains, so it was basically all me. But it was all worth it. Edward won't go anywhere near you and I had you and your little friends doubting him. How can you ever face him again? How can you ever _trust_ him again?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Did you make James say something to Edward?"

"Make?!" She blinked actually surprised, then smiled again. "Of course not. I just formed the foundation. Befriended James, found out he liked you, and told him to go get you. _His_ plans broke your own friendship with Edward, so if you think about it, it's really his own fault. Not mine."

I smiled bitterly. "You're right. You have about as much responsibility as the guy who hires the hit man." I glanced at the now whimpering Mike. "What's with him?"

Tanya threw him a disgusted glance. "Didn't have enough stomach to pull off this latest attempt. I suppose he was right when he said you wouldn't believe Edward would do this, but right now, I don't really care. I've achieved my main goal. No more you and Edward. Isn't life grand?"

I laughed. "You actually think I won't go see Edward now? It was all a simple misunderstanding that I plan to rectify. I don't care what James said. He's gone now. His presence won't be a bother anymore."

Tanya stared at me in horror. "James left?! That miserable excuse of a human being left?! Why? Why would he do that?"

"Because he was tired of working for you. As I'm sure your beloved cousin is now. Bye bye Tanya. It was nice talking with you."

And I ran away, toward a destination that I didn't know of until it came into view. The white mansion stood there innocently and I felt such a relief at the sight, I nearly fell down. I reached the porch to relax, but alas, my heart would not rest for I now was faced with an even greater challenge than running a mile to someone's house.

I now had to speak with the object of my affections and fix the damage that had occurred on the house of love. Oh how poetic I am!

* * *

A/N: Yes. OK. We're getting somewhere, huh? Yep, Tanya's a nutcase. And a very cliched villian. But then this is a very cliche story, so she fits right in! Do you think dear Bella and Edward will be able to hire construction workers and repair the foundations of friendship? Do you think they'll pay extra to add on a roof of love? Who knows? Aside from me. But I won't say until that chapter pops up. So stay tuned, my readers, and bear in mind that I have vaguely stated when they will become a couple. _If_ they become a couple....Dun dun dun.....Oh, and this seems even more redundant but please: REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVEIW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW


	12. Sweet Sorrow

A/N: Personally, I love the chapter title. It took me forever to come up with one, but I think it's perfect because it's a contradiction in itself. So I have a few songs you should listen to while reading this chapter. This is probably the first in many that I'll want you to listen to a song while reading. Oh and thank you so so so so so much for all the reviews. I went away for about an hour and when I come back, five whole reviews and an author's favorite. You guys so rock! And allowed me to get over forty reviews total. Yay!

1. I Will Always Love You (many people sing this song but I prefer Lauren Grahams version on Gilmore Girls)

2. I'm Not Okay (I promise)-My Chemical Romance

3. Without Love (Optional-It has barely anything to do with this chapter but I love it anyways.)

Disclaimer: To go along with the theme here, I believe it's prudent to tell you it's a true story when I say I don't own Twilight. Unfortunately, Twilight is not a true story. Yes, true story is an oxymoron too. You won't believe how many there are!

* * *

13. Sweet Sorrow

There are moments in ones life where contradictions arise. Most commonly, these contradictions possess a major life alteration. The time when one wants a sex change and is afraid yet excited. The time when the worker is feeling both nauseous and independent at starting a new career. Fortunately, I never wished to get a sex change or have gotten a job before. _Un_fortunately, that means I had to meet this contradiction in other circumstances.

My contradicting moment occurs now, today, where I shall see my beloved after a week of silence due to_ his_ decision. It took less than a second to lift my arm and push the doorbell. I have never thought Big Ben's chime so utterly heart wracking before, but the sound of the ancient clock filled my stomach with those butterflies I hadn't felt in what seemed an eternity.

And then I heard footsteps. Muffled slightly, then getting louder, and louder…And five, four, three, two….

There he stood, in all his stunning, best friend/boy I'm in love with, glory. In that moment, I felt a staggering amount of both love and pain. Although I've heard they're one in the same, I believed differently. Love allowed one to feel utterly invincible, light and carefree. Pain made one want to crawl in a hole and let the waves of sorrow devour the soul. My contradiction was utterly bittersweet. I'll never be able to eat dark chocolate again.

"Edward," I acknowledged with a nod, congratulating myself on the steadiness in my voice.

"Bella…" he breathed in astonishment, and an emotion I'd been longing and dreading to see flashed in his emerald eyes: love. Oh the contradiction just had to bite me in the ass once more. _Love_ly.

"We need to talk," I stated firmly, walking in the house and making my way to his living room. Luckily, his parents weren't here. Even if they had been, I would have demanded this meeting.

"Of course," I heard him mumble as he joined me. "You can sit if you wish…."

I turned to him, and something in my expression made him trail off. "Why don't _you_ sit, Edward? This might take a while."

He conceded, taking in a deep breath and rubbing his eyes wearily. The vulnerability in that gesture made something in me snap. Because _he_ was the one who had called it quits. And here he was not even putting up a fricken' protest when all I wanted to do was hug and kiss him and tell him I loved him.

"What the fuck is the matter with you?" I hissed, taking sadistic pleasure in the wince my tone caused. "I don't care what the hell James told you, but you, of all people, should have known he was a complete liar!"

"I know-" he began.

"No you don't. Do you know the_ hell_ this week has been? Complete torture. If you had felt _this_ way, I would've been there in a heart beat. So come on, out with it. What did he say? I need to set what ever he told you straight."

He stared at me a moment, then sighed. "Can we go somewhere first?"

I raised my brow. "Seriously? You want to take me somewhere in _this_ state?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's not exactly in public, Bella."

"Whatever." I turned to go out the door, and he followed behind. Awkward and uncomfortable silence ensued, which caused moisture to rise unbidden in my eyes. Oh why must you curse me so fates?! Where did all the love go? Edward and I were _never_ awkward with each other. From the moment we'd met, it had been easy as pie. He was my Eddie, I was his silly Bella. Now, we weren't anything. Hopefully that would soon change. "Where are we going?" I finally asked as we trekked across dirt and shrubbery. I'd certainly be more fit after today. Running two miles and now hiking? _Dang!_ Emmett would certainly be proud.

"A place I've wanted to take you. Um…I may have to carry you part way. It gets tricky after….never mind," he finished quickly, taking in my incredulous expression. Fat chance he'd carry me!

But it did turn out to be difficult. Did I oblige to his request? No way! However, as a result, I ended up exhausted by the time we made it to his destination. Thankfully, it was cool outside or else I'd be sweating like a pig. Not an attractive picture, even if you're mad at the person you love.

Edward pulled back a bush to let me through and I walked into heaven on earth. Framed in a circle of trees, lay a little meadow worthy of any fairytale. Sparks of violet and white flowers poked out of the luscious grass, which sparkled in the rare sunshine. A hidden brook babbled nearby creating water music. "What is this place?" I breathed in wonder, momentarily forgetting reality and its resulting drama.

"Just a place I found one day while I was exploring. Before I met you, I found myself with a lot of spare and lonely time. This place let me think and feel at some sort of peace with the world."

"Humph," I scoffed, plopping down. "You must have come here a lot this week then."

"Yes," he replied seriously, taking a seat across from me, though I turned my gaze to the ground. "Except it didn't bring much peace. Just regret."

I tilted my head in wary confusion. "So tell me what James said, Edward."

He ran a hand through his hair. "He told me to stay away from you, of course."

"That's it?"

"Well, he was slightly more persuasive than that. In fact, I give him credit. It's amazing how well he knew what would make me stay away."

"Which was…?"

"If my presence hurt you in anyway." I didn't speak and he looked down. "Well, naturally, when James came, I felt overwhelming jealousy. And utterly hopeless. You had a history with this guy, and he clearly liked you. Who was I to compete?"

"You're thinking was ludicrous, you know?"

"Well, it wasn't so much that, as our conversation. That was when I really began to doubt myself. Enough to stop talking to you. He said that no matter what, in the end you'd have to choose between us. And if I took myself out of the mix now, I would put you out of a lot of misery. Of course, it was only after I broke off our friendship that I realized how stupid I had been. Because we still would both be miserable. I could see you didn't care for James much. You would never quit talking to any one of your friends if you did. Of course, you _liked _him. But not enough. I made a mistake and for that I am truly sorry. If I could go back and fix it….But I can't. So all I can do is apologize."

I bit my lip, contemplating. And in the end, it came to this. I loved Edward. In truth, he hadn't been at fault. Yes, he shouldn't have stopped being my friend, but James could be extremely persuasive when he realized what changed people's perspectives. And I would have done the same thing. Apparently, compassion was my friend today. So I stretched out my hand and rested it atop Edward's. "It OK."

He drew in a ragged breath. "Really?"

I shrugged. "Well, just as long as you promise not to do that again. I missed my best friend too much."

He laughed breathlessly and pulled me into a hug. "I missed you too," he whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely." He pulled back after a moment, still holding my hand. "So what made you break the silence?"

I told him of my wondrous adventures of the past two days and he remained silent a moment. "Well, thank you," he finally said. "You had every right to doubt me."

"Hardly. You would never have done that. Even to Mike or Tanya. You're too much of a pacifist."

"I used to be," he murmured. "But if anybody hurt you like that Bella….It's hard even now not to go over there and yell at them."

I bit my lip and looked away. We were coming dangerously close to a certain topic and I didn't know whether I wished to avoid it or blab it out. "Well, it's water under the bridge now. It doesn't matter. I'm just glad, I can talk to you again."

He smiled weakly and I took the opportunity to inspect him after so long. At first I had been overcome with the sight of his face, his presence, his voice. Now, as I looked at my best friend, he seemed…different. Still unusually gorgeous, but almost sick. Zombie-like or vampiric, what with the deathly pale skin and violet rings around his eyes. "Edward, are you OK? You don't seem well…." I pulled my hand out of his grasp and touched his forehead. His eyes fluttered shut and he moved my hand to his cheek. My fingers molded to his face in a caress and he held it there. As if I would remove it!

"I'm…better?" he replied more as a question.

"What's wrong?" I demanded more firmly.

He opened his eyes and I removed my hand, though he grasped it tightly between his own. He gazed at them intensely as he spoke. "Bella, you have no idea how horrible this past week has been. Not being able to see you….and because of my foolish thoughts….because of _me_….Not to mention holding a secret from the most important person in my world." He shook his head. "Torture."

I remained silent, looking anywhere but at him. Then he moved his hand to my chin and tilted it up. I was trapped in his smoldering gaze and didn't wish to escape. Ever. "Isabella Swan…." He rolled the flavor of my name on his tongue like a good wine, savoring it. "When I met her, when she smiled at me after I'd been so rude to her, when she joked around with me on the plane, I felt…incredible, impossible. I felt like me again. The Edward before the accident, before the brooding and depression, before the hurt I'd caused my family with the angst and silence.

"Alice was not lying when she said I was practically dancing after that flight. Can you believe I actually started singing show tunes? 'Without Love' from _Hairspray_. Before that, I'd always called it a form of torture when Alice would subject me to that fluffy nonsensical musical. But I've watched it every night since you've been in my life. Just call me Link Larkin."

I smiled to myself and he took that as encouragement, although I don't think anything could have stopped him now. "You altered my life, Bella. In one plane ride! Insanity, but in quite a wonderful way.

"I'd always been scared of that feeling, or at least disbelieving. But as I spoke with you, there was no fear, simply bliss."

"But…." His eyes grew darker and he glared at the trees, now black against the setting sun. "Fear came in a new, _horrid_ form as we became friends. Did you feel the same way? If not, what would that do to us, and if you did not return my feelings would you leave? I could not live without you, Bella. And that obviously proved itself during this pathetic excuse of a week. Little sleep, lack of appetite, mental pain…." I watched his agonized face in wonder. He seemed to reciprocate my feelings. I could practically hear my friends shouting, 'told you so!' Alice, was, of course, loudest.

"But one attack against you, one threat that could cause you harm, made me distance myself. Only your happiness and safety could be more important than my fear of losing you. I agreed with James and I am sorrier than I can ever say. Had you not come here today, I would have come to you begging forgiveness. But we've gotten that out of the way, which brings me to what I've wanted to say all along…."

* * *

A/N: "I'm a leperachaun Bella!" Nope, just kidding. If that had been the case, this would've been a parody. Anyway, what'd ya think? Originally, Bella was a lot more 'Bella in the book-ish,' which I don't know how the hell that happened. Bella is my least favorite character yet there I go, having my Bella throw herself at Edward apoloqizing for what _she_ had done and crying her eyes out. Yeah right! Well, maybe you would have prefered it that way, but I thought this gave her more backbone. Drop me a review. Please, please, please. Or else I'll turn our beloved Eddie into a leperachaun!


	13. Love Wedgies

A/N: Wazzup my home skillet biscuits?! I found out my gangsta name this week. How sick is that? Anyway, it makes me uber happy to update this today. High school is...daunting, to say the least. I ever so hope it'll get better! Do I sound like Hermione? Sweet! And thank you soooo much for your reviews. Frederic O'Piggle is doing a merry jig just for you guys.

Songs: Stay Close, Don't Go-Secondhand Serenade

Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds-The Beatles (Who else?)

Dirty Little Secret-All-American Rejects

* * *

14. Love Wedgies

He paused to reorder his train of thought, then abruptly pulled me onto his lap making sure I faced him. OK. Well then. This is new. And quite nice. One arm wound tight around my waist, the hand of the other, cradled my face, making sure to lock me in a smoldering gaze.

"That plane ride last year changed my life, created my life….It was the day I began believing in love at first sight, fate, destiny. Do you believe in love at first sight?"

I bit my lip, still unable to pull away from his gaze. "Yes," I finally whispered.

He grinned softly. "And when did you start to believe in it? Or have you always believed?"

I shook my head slowly. "I believed the night of the plane ride."

"Ah," he nodded gravely. "See, I believed the day that stunning creature ran into me, and sarcastically showed me up, then welcomed me to butt heaven." He took in a deep breath, winding his arm tighter around me. "I love you Bella. I'm in love with you. It doesn't matter anymore if you don't feel the same, I don't want that to hinder my feelings anymore. Because you deserve to know, you…." His eyes softened even more and he spoke with almost religious devotion. "You deserve the world…."

There were many things I wanted to do in that moment. Firstly, I wanted to pick the underwear out of my butt because I really had a wedgie. Then I wanted to scream to the world that Edward Cullen, beautiful, brooding, musical, Edward Cullen loved _me_. I also wanted to cry, because beautiful, brooding, musical, Edward _Cullen_ loved me and I'd been trying to deny it, and my feelings, for over a year. But something stood above all others. And that was a kiss.

So I did just that. I pressed my lips firmly to his own, and boy did that kid respond! Almost instantly, his tongue was asking permission to enter, and who was I to refuse? And who _would_ refuse? I'd like to be all magical and romantic and say fireworks exploded and cupid finally put away his arrow, but then I'd be lying. Because Edward's kiss didn't possess what they say in the movies and books. It possessed much more. Rather than fireworks exploding, my heart did. With pure unadulterated love _for him_.

Deep, huh?

But eventually, we had to pull apart because, well, it was impendent to our health. Somehow dying from lack of oxygen didn't seem that romantic. I pulled back reluctantly and he stared at me, dazed.

"Sup?" I breathed after a moment, because his staring was unnerving and exciting at the same time. Oh these crazy contradictions. Oh the awesome alliteration!

"Does this mean…."

"That I love you?" I finished, slowly. Because it was so obvious. "Of course it does. Man, I truly need to hit you over the head with it, don't I?"

"I just…" He shook his head. "Don't want to read more into it than I should. I mean if it's only to make me feel better, don't feel obli- Ow!"

I hit him on the back of the head, much like Rosalie did to Emmett when he was being particularly obnoxious. "I love you, you weirdo! Of course I do!"

And finally, Edward smiled a slow grin that made him glow like an angel…or Adonis if you prefer. (Adonis is more manly.)

He picked me up, twirling me in a circle, similar to the time we'd been reunited after that fateful plane ride. Ah Fate, how I loathe and love you at the same time. You are a tricky son of a bitch, but then Edward and I wouldn't be together without you. Probably shouldn't talk to the higher beings when my sweetheart is holding me. Might make me look crazy….But then, he already knows I am.

Once he set me down, I tackled him to ground and laughed at his surprised expression. "I know," I said, blowing on my knuckles and rubbing them on my collar. "I'm skilled."

"Yep," he chuckled. "You never cease to amaze me, Bella."

"Boo!" I suddenly said, and after a belated pause, he jumped. I blinked. "Well _that_ was delayed."

"Took me a minute to work up the fear and amazement."

"Ah, I see…." I rested my had on his chest and just looked at him. Might have looked really creepy if he hadn't been looking at me too.

"You know, I love your eyes," he told me. "And blush." He smiled as the red invaded the personal bubble of my face.

"Thanks," I mumbled awkwardly.

"Too be honest, and cheesy, those eyes never fail to melt my heart."

"Hello, Butter, it's nice to meet you!" Mr. Butterward I mentally added. I would certainly like him with _my_ pancakes.

He smiled, and I lay my cheek on his chest, sighing in contentment. "You know what?" I asked when the sun had completely faded away.

"Hmm?"

"My mom said the reason for my clumsiness is because one day my Prince Charming will come to save slash sweep me off my feet."

"It _is_ the reason I'm here," he stated seriously. "The reason for my existence, if you will."

We lapsed into silence until I began looking at the sky. "You know," I whispered. "Twilight is my favorite time of day. Everything seems to calm and quiet down. Comfortable silence…."

"It _is_ quite beautiful," he agreed, though I knew he preferred the break of dawn. "But we have to go…."

"Yes…." But neither of us moved until the darkness consumed the sky and I traced random pictures in the gleaming diamonds. Is Lucy up there? I wanted to ask.

"What are you doing?" Edward whispered, ever the curious one. "You know, I still wish I could read your mind."

"Be careful what you wish for. My mind is a forest of crazy."

"I like forests," he reasoned.

"Yes, but then you'd know everything there was to know about me and then you'd bet bored."

"Never," he scoffed, holding me tighter.

"Not to mention," I continued. "You'd know all of my dirty little secrets." He was about to protest but I beat him to it. "You don't know everything about me, Eddie!"

"Oh and what don't I know?" he asked and did that stupidly wonderful eye smoldering thing where my own heart melted. But I'm more like chocolate. _You_ know! "Please tell me?" he breathed.

"Fine," I sighed. It was pointless not to, but I decided to go with the lightest secret I possessed. He, of course, didn't need to know that. Still, it was embarrassing. "Well…you never did know about my er celebrity crushes…."

He pulled in a sharp breath. "So…tell me about him."

NO!! I shouted at myself, but alas, my mouth did not listen. Stupid mouth! "Er…you know, Rupert Grint?"

He stared at me blankly.

"Take that as a no…." I muttered. "It's ah Ron from the Harry Potter movies."

"Ah, hmm…."

"And-"

"There's more?"

"Well, yes. I said, crush_es_, not crush."

"Oh, please continue then." Grr! Too formal Edward, a sure sign of his uncomfortable feelings toward the topic.

"Johnny Depp and the guy who plays the Romeo in the 1960's version." I bit my lip but he remained silent, so I did the thing I knew how to do best. I told a joke. Whoa! Step back! "Apparently, I dig older guys…."

Ah, he smiles! I didn't know he had it in him. Such a beautiful smile. And there's that melodious laugh. Why can't he sing it out more often?

"So what about you, Eddie dear? What other girls attracted your affections?"

"Only one girl could touch my heart, and she's completed me in every way."

I raised an eyebrow and bit my lip to keep from laughing. But the gods of humor were not being fair today, for a giggle passed through. Drat!

"What?"

"Nothing…that was just…rather cheesy, my love!" And Edward did something I truly missed over the past week. He blushed. I kissed his cheek, which resulted in more redness. He sure was cute. "I like cheesy," I told him. Then, without warning, he stood up, bringing me with him.

"Ooh! Head rush!" I exclaimed dizzily, then smiled a little. "Cool!"

Edward watched fondly, then turned around. "Climb on my back, Silly Bella," he said, crouching down.

"Forward march!" I commanded, kissing his head once I'd found my perch. I'm like King Kong on the top of that tower….Only, I hadn't fallen for a human girl who I kidnapped, but with the building itself. And what a dazzling building Edward would make….Swoon!

"Well," Edward sighed. "I'm feeling much better now!"

"Oh yes?" I asked sarcastically. "It must be quite fantastic to lug around a psycho all the time."

"No," he disagreed softly. "It's quite fantastic to carry around your girlfriend all the time…where she belongs." After a moment he added in a teasing tone, "Hey, you like the cheesy."

"Love. It." Almost as much as I love you, dearest Edward. Almost as much as you….

* * *

A/N: Yay! No more depression. That makes me happy. And they're FINALLY together. Who would've thought it possible? Not I! OK, well maybe _I _did, but still. Fate, destiny, love at first sight, oh art thou wonderful? Review and tell me which Twilight boy you'd like to have pancakes (and maybe more) with. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please! Oh, and take heart in the fact that it's pretty much smooth sailing from here. No more Ms. Angst!


	14. AHHHHHHH!

A/N: Sorry beautiful readers! That loving brother of mine, decided today would be the day he fixed the internet on this decrepit piece of technology. Seriously people, it's from 2001! How insane is that? So I had to wait until now to post this. I apologize deeply, for I hate, with a passion, not following in on promised updates. Next week will be better, hopefully. Thank you to those reviewers and who took the time to read and comment. And please, people, I'm getting a lot of alerts and favorites but no reviews from you. I love to reply to you guys, and I can't exactly do that when you don't say anything. So please do and thank you for the support.

**ATTENTION**: (Please, please, please look up these songs. They are the basis for the whole story later on, so I highly recommend you listen to them. I put a lot of time into finding the perfect ones for each chapter so give them a listen.)

Songs: 1) Can you Feel the Love Tonight? (I recommend the one from the Lion King since Elton John's voice freaks me out, but that's optional.)

2) Wind Beneath My Wings

Disclaimer: Amazing Edward, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like meeee! I once read Twilight, and found a vampire, that I had to write about....

I am American, I do love Edward, but I don't own him, or anyone else from his book for that matter. A girl can dream though, right?

* * *

Chapter 15. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Much contemplation ensued as I watched the quiet world around me. Night was the perfect time to think, for the darkness spread out in a veil that protected your secrets and desires, your hopes and dreams. Right now, all mine contained one being I was currently perched on, and that being was my sudden boyfriend.

Edward Cullen.

My Eddie.

Agent Pretty Boy

A song popped into my head and I sang it quietly to myself, forgetting that Edward's ears probably didn't want to hear it. But he added his own harmony, and I smiled at the fact he could complete me in that way too. Complementing my musical heart? Too romantic for words.

And I thought of how completely impossible and oh so obvious the whole journey had been. The plane ride, the spontaneous kiss, the way we acted around each other, the fact we couldn't stay away from each other. We really must be stupid not to have realized before. Yet one thing seemed to be a mystery….

Apparently, my love had the same thought, for as we opened the door to his house and walked into the living room, I hopped off his back, and a simultaneous turn- around occurred.

"Favorite color?" we asked at the same time. And then we giggled (or at least _I _giggled. No guy can do that, way too unmanly…. Aside from Homer Simpson…and Spongebob…and Mike Newton) like two teenagers in love.

"Jinx!" Edward exclaimed. "You owe me a…a kiss." He grinned to himself, very proud of his smooth moves, as he pulled me closer.

I bestowed his 'prize' upon him, but not even Mr. Cullen's suaveness could deter my sudden fascination. "You go first dear Eddie!"

He frowned slightly. "Why must I go?"

My eyes widened. "Dude, you almost sounded British there!"

His smile returned. "And do I surpass Ron Weasley yet?"

"Psh! Nobody can surpass my Won Won." I sighed dreamily, gazing into the distance and he pouted. "Still, I want you to go first."

He burned a dazzling gaze into mine. "Aren't ladies supposed to go first?"

I narrowed my eyes, to seem stern, but also to shield me from his beauty. It was blinding! "I'm a rebel."

He sighed in defeat. Ha ha! Ten _thousand_ points to Gryffindor, my dears. I mean I _did_ win his love after all. That counts for at least a thousand. Suck on that Slytherins! Boo you Draco Malfoy and your strange sneers. But I digress… Edward, the love of my existence (to put it as cheesy as possible) was telling me one of his most guarded secrets and it probably wasn't right to curse evil awesome sauce villains. "Fine," he was saying. "I'm warning you now, love, that every single thought I have of you is the very essence of cheese. So be cautious."

"I'll make sure I wear my cheese prevention suit. Did you know that if you don't wear one, you could get serious cheese infection? Turns your heart to a mushy sappy mess."

"Well you already did that to mine, so I think I'm immune."

"Edward, did you ever know that your my hero?" I sang to be very cheesy. "Your everything I would like to be…. And I could fly higher than an eagle, cause you are the wind beneath my wings."

"Oh shoot! I'm not immune!"

"Can you get the plague from loving to much?"

"I think I just did! Call an ambulance!"

I placed my hands on my hips. "Not before you answer my question."

"Sorry dear. You're quite distracting."

"My beauty or my mind?"

He paused for a heart beat. "Both?"

"Good answer."

So," he began again. "My favorite color is pink, dearest heart, because it's the same color as the blush painting your lovely, and distracting, face. Although…you never did see my new chocolate brown sheets." He looked down, embarrassed. "The same color as your eyes."

Once again, Edward left me speechless. However, my lips could speak volumes without that pesky voice. So I kissed him, my hands darting straight to his hair, running through the soft locks. It felt very fulfilling indeed to do so, for I'd dreamt of that moment quite often. Living the dream, baby! When we pulled apart, both panting like we'd run marathons across our hearts-very romantic and quite the workout-his eyes smoldered even more, a darker shade than usual. Green fire.

"My favorite color," I breathed. "Is green because of _your_ eyes."

A grin slowly spread across his face, drawing one from mine. Or perhaps I was already smiling. I was too in love to care at the moment.

"I love you," we whispered at the same time.

"Jinx," I breathed against his lips. "You owe me a kiss." And just as we were about to close the whisper of space between us, a tinkling laugh forced us back two steps and we stared at each other wide-eyed.

* * *

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" God damn that little pixie and her high pitched voice.

"Ow Aly! Permanently deaf now!" I complained, turning from Edward's shocked expression to the group of suddenly happy friends. They were actually kind of creepy, smiling at me and Edward like crazy clowns. I could hear psycho music in the background. They reminded me of Mike when he walked down the hallway sometimes. He would randomly burst into laughter with this giant grin on his face and walk down the halls like some cartoon character on Broadway. And to this day, I still could not figure out why. Perhaps Jasper should take _him_ to the mental institution.

"You guys made up!" Alice and Rosalie exclaimed, interrupting my Mike Newton speculations.

"Of course, just couldn't stay away from him for too long." Edward smiled down at me, winding an arm around my waist.

"Yes! Now I can actually hang with my sis again!' Emmett was weird…and sweet.

"I'm not so sure," Jasper said, a knowing twinkle in his blue eyes. "Did you tell her, Edward?"

"What?" Emmett asked, brow furrowed. Rosalie and Alice were confused too, until Alice began piecing it together. She looked from my face, to Edward's, then his arm around me…. And 3-2-1

"You guys are together!" she screamed.

Edward and I looked to each other and sighed. Best to tell them and get it over with. "Everyone," Edward began. "I'd like you to meet my wonderful new girlfriend, Bella Swan!"

"Yay!" Alice shrieked.

"You know, it will ruin a very nice day if I go deaf, Alice," I told her in an attempt at annoyance, but for some reason (that was _completely_ unexplainable) I couldn't stop smiling.

"Well sor-ry," she exaggerated unconvincingly. "But look at you guys. No more mopes! No more lame ass excuses for not eating. You look like you just ingested a unicorn and farted out puppies!"

I turned to Jasper. "And you _still_ don't think she's crazy?"

He scowled. "She's simply unique."

"Potato po-ta-to." I mentally had to add the touché for he did not seem to agree with my disagreement.

"Bella, you have to show Edward the-" Alice began.

"Shh!" I hurried to cut her off. "He still doesn't know about that!"

She blinked, then huffed. "Fine. Edward…." She turned to face him. "Why don't you-"

"That's supposed to be a surprise!"

Alice growled. "Here's how it's going to be. You are both to report back here in exactly an hour, ready to express your love for each other in your respective artistic form. Boys," she ordered Emmett and Jasper. "Make sure he is ready, Rose and I have to help Ms. No-Style."

Emmett groaned. "We have to hear the stupid song _again?_" He turned to me. "You should have seen him, kid. The only thing he was practically able to do was play that silly song until it was perfection." In a flash, Rose's hand gave him a sharp wack to the back of his head. "Ow! Rose what was that for?"

"You just ruined his surprise!" she hissed.

He mumbled a sorry, but Rose was not finished. "And it's not silly, it's absolutely romantic! Why don't you every do anything for _me_ like that?"

"Like what?!" I shouted, exasperated.

"Patience Bells, go get that portrait! Edward go practice! This is it people!" Did Alice harbor secret dreams of being a show director? Bossing people around seemed kind of perfect for her. Unfortunately, it seemed I only had seconds with Edward so I quickly turned, kissed his cheek, and went to take my leave.

"Oh no you don't!" He caught me around the waist again, pulling me tight against him. "Alice we _just_ got back together. I can't part with her now," he pretty much pleaded. Alice's face hardened with determination, and I wished I had some popcorn. These Cullen siblings were so much better than the movies.

"Oh no you don't baby brother. No way! You're not the only one who needs Bella. Rose and I need the details and a chance to make her over before she gets corrupted by you. I'm assuming you want to keep her tonight, yes?"

"Yes," he growled.

"Then give her up now. She's not just yours." Ooh Alice looked dangerous. That pixie sure turned vicious when she was angry. I remember accidentally dumping my food on her brand new skirt and blaming it on Emmett. The poor boy would never be the same again. We don't even know what she did to him, but he'd grown a fatal phobia of butterflies once she was finished.

"I'll see you later," I mumbled when he released his grip. He abruptly crashed his lips to mine in a fevered urgency, catching me off guard. I gasped and he smiled against my lips.

"Ahem…." Someone rather rude interrupted us, which reminded me my brother _was_ in the room. I laughed as I pulled back, my friends smiling, and sweet _loving_ Emmett grimacing in unconcealed disgust.

"Sorry Em. Now you know how I feel with you and Rose."

"Yeah, but you're my _sister_! I'm supposed to _protect_ you."

"Ah I see. Hey Rose, you hurt Em, I'll kill you," I told her, very serious faced.

"Yes'm. Was that slap to much?" She looked down, as though I'd scolded her.

"Nope, perfect!" We grinned as Emmett pouted.

"Enough stalling! Come on Bells!" Alice yelled.

"Fine Alice, just take me away from the love of my life!" I dramatically placed the back of my hand on my forehead. Edward placed his own on his heart, eyes wide with pleading, though I saw his lips twitch.

"Oh please, you guys! It'll take seconds."

"Well then, you've never been in love, have you?"

"Hey!" Jasper interjected. "I resent that! Especially with me _in_ the room."

"It's called drama, people!" I shouted in irritation.

"You didn't mean it, then?" Oh great! Now my own boyfriend was turning into one of them. I winked at him and grabbed Alice and Rose's arms, ready to express my love for the color green and dear Eddie. As though he were reading my mind, Edward's voice carried through the front door.

"Love you, Bella!"

"Love you, too!" And my friends and I giggled like little girls before the whole cooties infection began.

* * *

A/N: Giggle Sauce! So...Edward and Bella are together, the whole gang knows, Alice is crazy, Emmett is silly, Jasper is protective, Rosalie is kick ass. And the story is wrapping up drama- wise. After this is a whole lot o' singing and silliness. So stay tuned and please please please review. I was flabbergasted last time. And as almost British as dear Eddie! So review more and I may turn even more British. How jolly good would that be?

Reviewers get to jinx Edward with a kiss! Or any Cullen boy you wish.


	15. My Perfect Little Coconut

A/N: Well, it's 1:30 right now, and I'm _so_ tired, but I knew I had to get this posted. Enjoy peeps and be cautious. This chapter contains A LOT of my strange mind and romantic corn so...you have been warned. Thank you to those who reviewed. I'm glad you like my cheesy and romantic humor.

Songs: (Please please please listen!)

1) Pineapple Princess-Annette Funicello (Hilarious song dudes)

2) I'll Be-Edwin McCain

3) Smother Me-The Used (One of the most AMAZING songs ever!)

Disclaimer: BOO! I'm a ghost haunting you! I lied to this person the other day by saying I owned Twilight and then I got run over by a bus. So now I'm stuck in Purgatory. I think I'm going to Hell. That's just great. Lying is a sin so you shouldn't do it...as I have recently found out. Perhaps if I tell you the truth, I can atone for what I've done. I do not own Twilight, just very horrid timing...and very weird humor.

* * *

Chapter 16. My Perfect Little Coconut

_"Shoo fly pie, an apple pin downy, makes __the sky__ say hi, and the clouds say howdy! Shoo fly pie, an apple pin downy, I never get enough of that wonderful stuff!" _See, it was our thing to sing strange new songs to each other and see if the other one was impressed by it.

Rosalie stared at me wide-eyed. "Never. Sing. That. Song. In. Front. Of. Edward," she said in disbelief.

I frowned at her unimpressed-ness. Yes, that _is_ a word. "Why?"

She blinked a moment, speechless apparently, then walked away. Well then! We were in my room, waiting as Alice found the 'perfect' outfit for my evening with Edward. Although, in _my_ opinion, perfect is a subjective and relative term. What is perfect to some, may not be perfect to others. For instance, I would be _perfectly _fine in my jeans and a t-shirt. When I suggested this to Alice, she responded in much the same way Rosalie had to my amazing song.

"How about this one!" I suggested to her back, since she was currently digging through her make-up bag. _"Pineapple Princess, he calls me Pineapple Princess all day. As he plays his ukulele on the hill above the bay. Pineapple Princess, I love you, you're the sweetest girl I've seen-"_

"Oh my God, stop!" I realized Rosalie was leaning against my desk, laughing so hard tears were streaming out. "Where on earth did you learn that song?"

I smiled, a big cheesy grin. "I wrote it, of course." I didn't. "Edward inspired it, obviously, since he's my own little coconut."

Rosalie's eyes widened a moment and then she laughed even harder, a snort fitting in there somewhere. Who new someone so elegant and model-like could snort like a pig too? I was quite flabbergasted and had to laugh.

Which was the scene Alice dear chose to walk in on. Both of us laughing our asses off and absolutely no head way on make-up application.

"OK, girls. I heard the discussion of little coconuts. I hope you're not talking about Edward because then I would be scarred for life."

Rosalie laughed even harder and I grinned at Alice. "Actually we were, but not in that respect. I'm sure that particular part of Edward's anatomy is more like a giant banana or something."

Alice shuddered. "Why, Bella? Why? You don't hear Rosalie or me talking about our guys like that!"

I stared at her because she was more…_sex-_pressive with her relationship than I ever could be and Rosalie…well let's say I'd never be able to look at my brother the same way again. Shiver.

"Anyway!" I changed the subject. "What 'perfect' outfit have you got for me? Nothing too skimpy I hope."

"Have I ever given you a whore-ific outfit Bells? I think not!"

"You must have a _very_ selective memory Ms. Aly. I distinctly recall that night at that club in Port Angeles and the horrid scrap of fabric you called a dress."

She rolled her eyes, though I saw her and Rose share wicked smiles. My friends, ladies and gentleman! "This so bad Ms. Frump?" She held up a pair of black jeans and a teal tank top, some gray converses to accompany them. I tilted my head, then sighed.

"Is that so much different than what I'm wearing now?"

"Bella," she groaned. "Your wearing your 'I'm Sleazy for a Weasley' t-shirt, and painting jeans. Somehow I don't think he'll be too thrilled to see you wear that on your first official night as a couple. Especially when he gives you his surprise."

I pouted, as I bid a farewell to my beautiful Won-Won. _It's not _you _dear Ronald, its Alice. She's forcing us apart. I hope you understand. I'll be thinking of you every moment while I'm gone!_

* * *

After my sad departure from my…apparent mistress, I arrived at my new boyfriend's house along with _my_ surprise. What does one do when they are bored and depressed? That's right! You guessed it! Paint a still-life picture. Which is what I did. For Edward. Cue the awws. I know! I am _so_ romantic!

Opening the front door, I found the living room in a warm glow, illuminated by shivering candles. Shadows danced across the walls in lithe and graceful movements, and there in the midst of the miracle sat my own personal god at a grand piano. Talk about swoon central. And I call _myself_ romantic! "Wow!" I breathed in amazement, and Edward turned to me with his crooked grin. "This is beautiful!"

"Not as beautiful as you." I wrinkled my nose, at the oozy, mushy, cheese and he chuckled. "Oh come on. Statements of fact can not be considered cheesy."

I raised an eyebrow. "They can if the statement of fact is from someone as biased as you. Besides, you can't compare a room to a chick. I mean, who does that?"

He pondered for a moment. "A poet?"

"And are you one?"

He shrugged. "Perhaps someday."

"Well then," I nudged him over. "Move over, Shakespeare." Whoa! De ja vu! "So show me the surprise Eddie!"

He looked down, embarrassed. "I went first this morning. Can't you go this time? Please?"

I sighed. "Fine, fine." I brought out a tube, the painting curled inside. With a flourish I rolled it out, waiting for his reaction.

At one point, in 10th grade, I had suddenly been filled with a strong urge to confess to Edward. It was the night of the end of the year dance, and Alice forced us to go. Of course, neither had asked anyone or been invited, so we went together. The need to tell him intensified to impossible levels as we danced to a favorite song of mine. Made even stronger by the fact that it was twilight and Edward began singing some of it to me….

And just as I was about to say it, "Edward I-" Emmett cut in, demanding a dance from me. Which I had no idea why. It wasn't my wedding. Why did my brother want to dance with me? But later, after I'd thought about it some more, I realized it hadn't been right. I was sure that the fates would decide when to smile upon me and I should leave it up to them. As I'd found out this week, you sometimes had to take matters into your own hands.

My picture featured Edward, in most of his glory, (I'm good, but I'm not _that _good) dancing with a brunette. In reality, she was me…despite the fact I despised self-portraits with a passion…at least when _I_ was the one creating them. Anyway, the girl's arms were wrapped around his neck, his somewhere around her waist I believe, although the picture was cut off before then. His eyes looked down on her with that look he so often gave me, and until now, I had no idea what it had contained. It was a look that always caused a blush to bloom on my cheeks. A blush that graced both my face and the girl's in the portrait.

"You noticed!" Edward exclaimed, randomly.

"Noticed what?"

"That look! That look I give you. I knew I couldn't hide it will, but I wondered if you could see it."

"Well of course. It's kind of hard not to notice something when you do it to the same person." Because of course, I was looking at Edward with as much adoration and caring as he to me.

He smiled softly at the girl, tracing the curve of the cheek as he would if it were really me. "Yes. That's true," he agreed quietly, then sighed and turned to the piano. "I suppose you want your surprise now?"

"Only if you're ready…."

He smiled, whispered 'I love you,' and began to play. I recognized it almost immediately and my grin must have been manic for the amount of happiness and love I felt. You don't know how wonderful it is to hear this song, my friends. This most romantic of songs, sung for you, by Edward Cullen. I'd once heard in a movie that being in love is like hearing a song from another room and being able to sing it word for word. I now knew what they'd meant by that….

I simply watched him as he sang the song, the beautiful ballad of the romantic salad. And in that moment everything _was_ perfect. Not perfect in the way I felt, or the way the song sounded, but perfect in every true aspect of the word. A quintessence of perfection, if you will-kind of repetitive and redundant when you think about it, huh?- because he knew and I knew and fate knew too, that Edward Cullen was mine and I would _always_ be his.

* * *

A/N: Alright. I know. This isn't exactly my best writing but I really thought it was important to put it in. The song she mentioned dancing to was I'll Be, the song Edward sings is Smother Me. So send me a review. Tell me if you liked the songs I've put up there and if you liked the chapter. It was meant to be cheesier than usual but I think I added in the right amount of humor too. If you do review, you'll get any of the Twilight boys as your little coconuts!


	16. Cyclops

A/N: Um...hi.... OK, I know I pretty much suck saying that I would post every Sunday and then not posting for a week, but I have reasons including: turning 15. Yes, my birthday was two weeks ago! Yay! Homework, of course. Yuk! My computer's internet not working whatsoever, and lastly, losing my flash drive. Which I still haven't found. So I present to you this chapter after much deliberation and hardship. Hopefully, you understand. I tried to make this chapter funnier than the last, because I know that last one was cheesy as hell...if hell can be cheesy. Enjoy!

Songs: Any Christmas song of your choice. Merry Christmas in September!

Disclaimer: Me- I own Twilight!

Edward-You _really_ shouldn't have said that

Me-What are _you_ going to do about it?

Edward-Suck your blood

Me-Really Edward? That's just gross, and unnessacary, why would you-AH!!!! Oh no! He bit me! Blood leaking, life draining, darkness

consuming me....

Edward- Any last words?

Me-Yes. I do not own Twilight.

* * *

Chapter 17: Cyclops

**A Few Months Later...**

_"Have yourself a merry little Christmas! Let your heart be light, from now on our troubles will be out of sight! Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of your fateful friends who are dear to us, gather near to us once more._ Ooh! How about, _Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat! Please put a penny in the old man's hat, if you haven't got a penny, a haypenny will do, if you haven't got a haypenny, then God bless you!"_

"Bella, sweetheart, love of my life, must you sing that song every waking minute?" Edward groaned, burying his face in the couch cushions.

"Well excuse me for bringing a little Christmas cheer to my dear boyfriend! I'll remember next time that he's _EMO_ and can't stand to be happy!" I huffed and made to turn away but he grasped me around the waist pulling me onto his lap.

"Of course, I can. But why must you sing _that_ song and _only_ that song? It must be the most annoying Christmas carol on the entire planet."

"Psh! I've heard worse!" I retorted with a British accent, sounding like the Black Knight from Monty Python. That is one amazingly sick movie.

"Yes, I'm sure you have. Regardless, if I hear your song- which, by the way, is offensive to geese- one more time, I'm going to flee the country."

I rolled my eyes, and then smirked evilly. "I'll just hunt you down. I'll change my name to Tanya and stalk you." I leaned in closer. "You'll never be safe."

And then he kissed me, which kind of made me sad because that didn't mean I was creepy enough to pass off as a stalker. Then I realized that a) I didn't really want to be a stalker and b) my boyfriend, whom I love very much, was kissing me and I wasn't exactly responding which may offend him. I sure think a lot when I make out. I'm surprised Edward thinks I'm such a good kisser, distracted as I am.

When we pulled apart, we noticed our surroundings, finding it very surprising that we had magically fallen back on the couch, so now Edward was lying down, me on top of him. Oddly enough, this wasn't the first time that had happened. At one point we'd been kissing and I suddenly found my legs wrapped around his waist. At least we weren't in public this time….

Currently, we were at the Cullen's family cabin. Em, Rose, Jasper, and I had all been invited to the celebration of our Lord Jesus in a wooden cabin. How picturesque. I can just imagine Norman Rockwell painting a picture of us, waiting to send it out in Christmas cards. Except…he's dead…so that probably couldn't happen…. Perhaps he's in heaven then, painting us in an ethereal portrait of merry-making and tom-foolery. But I digress. The rest were out enjoying the "amazing" skiing conditions, whilst the Eddie boy and I took part in being young and in love. Skiing. I shivered thinking about the tragedies that could occur if I were out there…in the snow…with two twigs strapped to my feet…Ew. I'd be all, 'WOO! This is so fun!' then crash into a tree…or another skier and cause a massive avalanche that would crush all the people. I shivered again, and Edward tightened his grip in response.

See? We certainly had an interesting, almost telepathic relationship. If he thought I was cold, he'd give me his jacket or hug me closer to him. If he thought I was angry, he'd either yell back at me and/or apologize immediately. If he thought I was being funny, he'd laugh at my joke. If he thought I was having a bout of undying love for him, he would kiss me. If he thought I was crazy he…well, he'd pretty much do all of the above since he thinks I'm crazy all the time. Psh, no! He also keeps me away from the caffeine. But I can't live without my coffee and Coke. Never!

And we always had to be touching. No matter what. We got restless or felt kind of sick if we weren't together. I remember discovering that….

* * *

After Edward and I stayed up all night, catching up (and kissing) after those lovey dovey songs a few months back, and I slept all of the next day, Alice dragged me to Rose's so we could have proper girl time. As much as I would miss my new boyfriend, I was cool with it. We watched many a movie, including, _Princess Bride_ (my first time and how brilliant it was), _Ella Enchanted_ (in which the evil dude is actually the guy who plays Westley. How ironic!) _Sweeney Todd_ (a classic) _The Little Mermaid_ (you can't go wrong with that one) and _Music and Lyrics_ (I've been sleeping with a clown above my bed! They totally should have put that in the song.) Clearly a lot were musically based.

But as I was falling asleep, I felt more and more gloomy. My stomach got all weird and I had a pounding headache.

"What's wrong, Bells?" Rose asked, noticing my state.

"I have ennui," I told her, in Eeyore's voice.

"Ennui?" Alice piped in, confused.

I sighed. "It's a metaphysical angst."

They looked at each other, then back at me with knowing, sickeningly sympathetic faces. "You're lovesick, Bella."

My eyes widened, and I sat up very offended. "No I'm not! That's for those stupid damsel in distress type girls, who waste away while the man is off having sex with other women. I can't be…the _l _word."

Rose placed a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry. It's true."

I slumped forward. "This is so…_wrong_. Why do guys do this? I ask you!"

"It get's easier over time," Alice responded. "I was a mess when Jasper wasn't with me. And Rose had to switch almost all her classes to be with Emmett when they first started going out."

"Well this sucks. What do I-" But before I could finish my question, Alice's cell phone rang and she answered it. A smile spread across her face and she laughed.

"She feels the same. We'll bring her by first thing in the morning," she muttered to the person on the other line.

But when I asked her to explain what the hell was up, she giggled, patted my head and told me to go sleep. Not a word more.

She woke me early, much to my distress, telling me to get Rose's help on clothes. And after much fighting about decency and propriety concerning said clothes, I arrived at my boyfriends house, yet again. Emmett and Jasper were playing video games on the couch, and I slipped by unnoticed.

Esme came out of Edward's room, a secretive smile on her face until she noticed me. She shrieked in a very un-Esme-ish way and enveloped me in a warm hug. "Oh, thank you so much dear! Now he won't die alone. Somebody will actually smell his decaying body!"

"Unless I choke to death right now," I managed to breath out.

"Oh!" she laughed. "Sorry sweetie! I'm just so happy. Carlisle and I knew it would happen. We just didn't know it would take so _long._"

"Well, thank you," I mumbled, blushing.

"No, thank _you_!" she corrected, and with a final peck on the cheek, she walked down the stairs. Man, I loved Esme!

I opened the door cautiously, hoping not to disturb him sleeping, but equally hoping that I might catch him getting dressed. However, as I stepped inside I found my wonderfully, beautiful, and graceful boyfriend…on the floor. Ha. Ha ha. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

"Edward," I said trying to hold back my laughter. "Are you alright?" He jumped at the sound of my voice, and with a great and very awkward effort, drew himself up.

"Bella," He breathed, smiling and coming over, wrapping me in his arms.

"What happened?" I asked, my arms around his neck.

"Huh?" he muttered, distracted as he breathed in the scent of my hair. He seemed to do that a lot. I reminded myself that I must never change my strawberry shampoo. I wondered how he'd like strawberry lip gloss. "Oh, I…well…thought I heard you or something…and got up…a little to fast?" I could sense his embarrassment, so I kissed his cheek.

"You sound like me, dear Eddie! Aren't you afraid that having a klutz as a girlfriend might be contagious?"

"Silly Bella, nothing scares Edward."

"Oh yeah?" I asked, peering 'anxiously' over my shoulder. "Well, I have heard from certain resources, that Aly is in a shopping mood for _you_. And _only_ you." His eyes grew wide, face a sheet of white. "Hah! Scared ya!" I grinned triumphantly.

He blushed, avoiding my eyes. "So!" he changed the subject. "Why are you here? Not that I don't love your company."

I looked at his hands around my waist and the place he had fallen. "Clearly." His blush deepened. "No, I don't know _why _I'm here. Alice demanded I come. She wouldn't tell me why though. Sneaky little pixie. How was your night last night?"

He frowned. "Rather horrid actually. Reminded me of my life before…well, it was simply bad. I got very little sleep, and I felt quite depressed. Emmett and Jasper were not thrilled."

Realization struck me and I recounted the events of my own night. He grinned. "Must be a sign then," he mused.

"Apparently, fate isn't done with us yet."

* * *

School began about a month later, and the first week was filled with torturing lil' Ms. Stalker and her golden retriever. Nothing too humiliating (we didn't want to stoop to her level), just annoying. So whenever we came across her, we'd sing random albeit fitting songs. _"You're so vain. You probably think this song is about you."_ Edward and I would start making out, or express our love in a variety of ways. My favorite being, following her into the bathroom and pretending to have sex in one of the stalls…very loudly. We just keep getting better and better. She transferred schools the next week, but dear Mikey was harder to shake.

He'd given up on trying to torment us and instead switched to earning my forgiveness. Flowers, candy, chocolates, a singing quartet, arrived in a various ways and classes. Who knew carrier pigeons were still around? While I was impressed, Edward certainly wasn't. He felt highly offended and quite territorial. During lunch on a Friday, Edward took Mike outside and must've given him a stern talking to. When Mike came back inside, he looked ready to pee his pants. We didn't see him again which meant no more leech cousins! Although I feel kind of bad unleashing them to the outside world. No one is safe! Aside from us. Muawhaha!

My inward hilarity escaped me in a fit of giggles and Edward opened his previously closed eyes, narrowing them in suspicion. "What's so funny?"

"Life."

"Can we _be_ any more vague?"

"Well sure, Chandler. I could've said, 'nothing.' And then you'd be all," I put on a very exaggerated British accent so as to portray Edward's voice. "Bellaaa! That's not fair. I _must_ know what my true love is thinking 24/7. Tis mandatory lest she wishes to rid of me, in which case I shall alter my ways to appropriate what is right for her."

"Bellaaaa! I do not speak in that manner!" he said, in a very similar way and then he seemed to realize it. We started laughing and once we calmed down he once again asked, "What were you thinking?"

"I don't know…I just thought my life has been pretty funny so far."

"Yes, well _I_ think it's rather fantastic if I do say so myself."

"Yes," I sighed. "It's splendorific."

"Splendorific, huh?" He dropped a kiss on my head, chuckling.

"Splen-dor-ificial! And you know what's really nice?"

"What's that?"

"Well…the Christmas before I moved here, my mom had gone to Vegas and Jacob had found Nessie and James-" He growled at the mention of his name. "Had already moved, so I spent my holiday all alone. I think I had a frozen dinner and watched _Nightmare Before Christmas._ It's pretty splendorific to be here. With all of you guys."

Edward pulled me closer and kissed me rather lovingly. Here's to passion when it's new!

"You'll never be alone again, Bella," he murmured against my lips.

"I should hope not." I let my forehead rest against his, and laughed when his eyes became one. My gorgeous one-eyed boyfriend! "You know, for Halloween next year, you should be Cyclops."

He laughed. "Perhaps your right. Maybe I_ don't_ want to enter your mind."

"I'm_ always_ right."

"Nu-uh! I am." Ah the sneaky pixie arrives.

"Why hello Alice dear. To what do we owe this jolly holiday pleasure?" I asked brightly, getting off of Edward, much to his _dis_pleasure.

Alice plopped down between us. "Well don't tell the sacred snow this, but my best friend is more interesting."

"Oh, I'll try to keep my mouth shut."

"So…" she began, winding an arm around each of our shoulders. "I was thinking…."

"Yes?" we pressed at the same time.

"Have we ever showed you…The Game?"

And Edward grinned with sudden anticipation. What could the crazy Cullen kids have in store?

* * *

Such a cliffhanger! You holding on to the edge of your seat? Biting your nails? Not blinking until I post another chapter? Drat! I thought this chapter was so suspensful. So on Friday, my school recieved a bomb threat. It was a very tramatic experience for me. Whenever somebody says BOOM! I run for cover like a little turtle. Send me reviews in my time of need. Pwease?

Oh, and you might have caught a lot of references in this chapter so if anyone is a _Gilmore Girls _fan, _Friends _fan, _Rent_ fan, _Monty Python_ fan and/or any of the movies mentioned, tell me, and then we can be the cool GFRMPESMu Groupies. That's what they'll call us!


	17. Emmy Bear

A/N: Hazzah! I came out with a chapter! Granted it isn't the longest or the funniest or the most well written but it's out. I was contemplating not putting one out here (I only got two reviews last time) but I felt too hypocritical. So please put me out of my misery and review. Even if it's simply to say keep posting, I would be eternally grateful.

Songs: Love is a Battle Field-Pat Benetar

What a Wonderful World-Herman's Hermits

Disclaimer: Disclaimer, go away. Come again some other day. If you don't, I don't care I'll pull down your underwear.

I'm a disclaimer. And you combined two totally different songs. And I don't wear or even _own_ underwear!

Just as I don't own Twilight...but I do wear and own my Twilight shirt sometimes.

* * *

18. Emmy Bear!

"So you start by coming up with songs you know really well. Any song. Even ones you hate. Write them on the piece of paper in front of you. Boys choose for boys, girls for girls. Last one done, sings their songs first!" Alice explained the rules as we formed a circle around the karaoke machine. I felt like we were worshiping the thing and should be bowing down to it or singing Kum Byah.

I grinned to myself as I raced through the millions of songs in my head. This was my element, my place. Aside from being in an art studio, this was the one moment when I was truly at peace with the world. Alas, my friends did not share the same feeling. Emmett was, hilariously, the last to finish. I sang the jeopardy theme song as he grew increasingly frustrated, trying to come up with as many as the other guys.

"Ha ha. You're _so _funny sis. I'm going to totally finish now," Emmett grumbled with heavy sarcasm.

"Glad to be of assistance." But I remained silent, ready to begin. Five hours (which was really about five seconds later) Emmett was-

"Finished!" He waved his paper triumphantly in the air.

"Wow! He did it all on his own!" Edward exclaimed with mock pride.

"OK, OK. Enough stalling. Emmett go with the boys and find an outfit and song," Alice demanded.

"Ooh. Goody! Pick me a good song guys." They walked out the room, looking over his marvelous list…..

And then after a few minutes, my brother came out in…his most embarrassing pajamas with little pink bunnies on them. (And let me just say that they are, in fact, his. I know. I'm just as appalled.) Not only are there bunnies, but it's actually a night gown. As in, meant for a woman. Why he owns it, remains a mystery and when I think about it…I don't _ever_ want to know. His face was covered in green, an avocado mask having been added to the ensemble. With his ginormous, looming figure contradicting his feminine outfit and strange face, he looked like some intergalactic creature. Hah! Who's the alien now, brother dear?

It was not_ funny,_ it was fricken' _hilarious._ So much so that at the exact same time, we all burst into laughter. Even the alien himself. Emmett took center stage (which really _was_ in the middle of the room) as the guys joined us in the circle and watched him sing "Love is a Battlefield." Though it was exceedingly humorous, my brother gave a magnificent rendition of the beloved song….

"Ha ha! Em you could be the next Pat Benetar!" I said through my laughter, once he had finished.

"I always knew I had it in me. Just had to find my inner women."

After getting cleaned off and dressed rather dapperly (spending so much time with Alice made Jasper one with the clothes…. Something he vehemently denied) Emmett came back out. The next songs we dubbed The Romantic Ballads, meant to serenade our sweethearts. Edward and Jasper still got to choose the song though. And if you haven't already learned how amazing our boyfriends are, then you clearly have not been paying attention. In tune to Em and Rose's relationship, Edward and Jasper picked…

(What a Wonderful World)

Incredibly sweet. If I didn't' have Edward, I'd be bright green with envy. Em and Rose had their little, well, how do I put this nicely…disgustingly puke-inducing moment and the game continued...

* * *

A/N: Don't worry, dear friends. This shall get funnier eventually. I do like the thought of Emmett singing those songs though. Hilarious and dreamy all in one package. Love. It. Send me reviews and songs that the others could sing. I've got ideas but I always want to hear yours. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW


	18. Jazzy

A/N: Sorry about the length. Regardless I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Songs: I'm Too Sexy- Right Said Fred

I've Got You Babe- Sonny and Sher

I Wanna Hold Your Hand- The Beatles

Disclaimer: Should I leave a hilarious disclaimer this time? Me thinks not. I don't own Twilight people. Just a very depressed, emo-ish demeanor that needs to be cheered up.

* * *

Chapter 19: Jazzy!

Jasper took the next longest and I felt for him. His face grew red as he looked up, realizing he would, indeed, have to go first.

"You'll do great, Jazz," I whispered to him, as Emmett grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to his doom.

He mumbled a thanks and I turned to Edward. "Go easy on him, please."

He glanced at the subject in question. "I'll try my best."

Now Edward either ignored me (highly unlikely) or Emmett over ruled him. Oi, my brother and his buffoonish brain! Jasper walked out and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. Although, in all honesty he looked _mighty_ fine. The boys had dressed him in rather tight pants and a tux jacket, no shirt, showing off his defined muscles. The music started and Jasper took center stage in the middle of us, for we created a circle. Oh, my brother sure was evil….

(I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt)

I stared a moment, mind blown away, before bursting into an explosive laugh along with everybody else….Well, almost everyone. Poor Rose would be scarred for life. I don't know what I would do if I saw Emmet like that….I shudder to think. Fortunately Jasper gained confidence as he sung…and now that I think about it…

"You know Jaz, that was actually good. I need to cool off." I wiped my brow in exaggeration. "Aly," I added turning to her. "Wanna trade boyfriends?"

Her eyes widened. "No way! That would be like incest."

"Fine take Emmett! Rose _you_ OK with Edward?"

"Oh alright. Eddie do wanna write a song for me? And call me, 'love?' And give me piggy back rides?'"

"Whoa! Don't we get a say in this?" he asked, slightly afraid.

"Well, who would you prefer?" I asked 'surprised' that he would care who he ended up with. Rolling his eyes he grabbed me around the waist, holding me tightly.

"On second thought," Rose corrected as she watched our interaction. "I think Edward's too in love with you Bells."

"And you're too in love with Emmy."

"And you're too in love with Eddie."

"Hey, only I can call him that!"

"Uh, possessive much?"

"Nothing wrong with marking your territory, once in a while."

"That sounds like you peed on him!"

"Uh, disgusting much?"

"I'm not the one who peed on my boyfriend."

"That we know of. Emmy came home one day all wet. _And_ smelly."

"Liar!"

"Am not!"

"Are to!"

"Am not!"

"Are to!"

"Are to!"

"Am not!"

"Ha! Gotcha!"

"Got what?"

"I got you…" I sang.

"Babe!" she finished. We stood up and bowed toward our audience, laughing at their expressions of, 'man, these chicks are crazy!'

"Sorry for the interruption," Rose said, very politely. "Let us continue." And Rosalie took her brother away to be given more suitable clothes.

Jasper appeared and to keep up with my ancient adjectives (love the alliteration there) I believe he looked dashing. He really does have an excellent voice which made his song absolutely adorable. It was the perfect song for his and Alice's relationship.

(I Wanna Hold Your Hand)

This couple wasn't _quite_ as showy as my brother and his girl. For them, all their love seeped through their gaze toward the other. It was so strong, you could feel it warming the air…and now I sound like the most cheesy Hallmark card in the world. But what can I say? It was quite true.

* * *

A/N: Aww! That's just so sweet. My friend's boyfriend asked her out for the Homecoming dance and they're in love and stuff. He gave her a charm bracelet with hearts and one said, 'Forever' on it. How adorable is that? I just love it. Anyway, as has been written previously, I'll write if I get more reviews. Thanks for tuning in. Find out next week who gets to who the next singer is. Reviewers get their own Jazzy to come and dance to 'I'm too Sexy' for them!


	19. Rosie Petal!

A/N: Uh...hi. Yeah I know that I haven't posted but whatever. I doubt many people care but I thought, in spirit of this amazingly spooky season, I'd post a wicked chapter. Enjoy!

Songs: This is Halloween-Nightmare Before Christmas (Who else loves that movie?)

My Heart Will Go On-Celine Dion (I know...it's cheesy which is why I put it in here.)

Thriller-Michael Jackson

Once Upon a Dream-Sleeping Beauty

Dislaimer: In this town, we call...fanfiction, everyone hails to the...storybook!

Ooh. Nice one. What song is that supposed to be anyway?

This is Halloween from Nightmare Before Christmas...duh!

Which you don't own, nor do you own Twilight.

Trick or Treat, smell my feet!

Ew. Now say it or _you _shall smell _my_ feet!

I don't own Twilight!

* * *

Chapter 20: Rosie Petal!

"_Why?!_ Why must you be so cruel?"

"The question is, why must _you_ be so whiny?"

"See!" Rose exclaimed. "That's such a mean thing to say. You have no soul!"

"Well, now you know how I feel when you two dress me up."

"Alice initiates it!"

"I don't see you getting me out of it."

"So now you're trying to get back at me?!"

"I swore I'd seek vengeance on you people."

Rosalie stared at me as though for the first time. "An evil mind does not become you, Bella."

"No," I sighed. "It envelopes me in a dark cold cloak and there's no escape. No escape. NO ESCAPE! I though _you,_ of all people, would understand that."

She rolled her eyes. "Must you be such a drama queen?"

I looked at her in disbelief. "Says the wanna-be actress."

"Will you two stop bickering like some old married couple?!!" Alice shouted, emerging from the closet laden with Rosalie's new garb.

"Well well well. _Somebody's_ jealous of the rare love we share, Rosalie," I said, with a contemptuous glance at the pixie.

"Some people just can't understand love the way we do."

"Oh my goodness! They don't, do they?" I threw my arms around her and we began 'sobbing' in serious earnest.

"Bella," Rose sniffled. "Did you know that, _near, far, wherever you are_…" Her question had turned into a familiar tune and we began singing the sappiest love song known to man.

We sighed simultaneously as we gazed into each others' eyes. Ah, love!

"OK. Enough of this corniness! Rose, you've got to get into costume!" Alice dumped the clothes onto Rose and dashed away to get the mirror.

Reluctantly, Rosalie pulled the clothes on: a grubby and torn button –up flannel and grubby frayed jeans. I, being the _wonderful _hair stylist I am, began messing up her thick blond mane, adding tangles and fake leaves the Cullen's had. It was magical that they owned all this stuff. At one point, I needed a purple hippopotamus costume with wings…and they pulled it right out of their closet!

"Aha!" Alice exclaimed as she returned with a mirror about the same size as she was. "Found it!" After applying the make-up, Alice and I stepped back to view our masterpiece. And for the record she, and possibly Alice, are probably the only two people in the world who could still look beautiful as the living dead. We took the zombie to the living room and she began her song.

(Thriller)

Who knew somebody so feminine and fine could know Thriller _and _its dance moves by heart? We stared at her for a full minute until we all shouted cheers and, because it all happened simultaneously, we burst into laughter.

Her song for Emmett was up next and I knew exactly which one would be perfect….

* * *

_One night Rosalie couldn't sleep. This was because she and her boyfriend had just split and they had known each other as kids. Though she hated his guts for saying horrible demeaning things behind her back, she was lonely. She began watching old chick flicks to see how girl's could actually find love. Disney ones were at the top at her list. _

_On an impulse, Rose decided to take a chance and go for a walk in the woods not far from her house. Secretly, she wanted to know if her prince charming could be strolling along there._

_As she began walking she hummed a certain song from one of her favorite Disney movies. Suddenly, she heard a deep voice yell and felt compelled to search for the trouble. What she saw sent her into a fit of hysterical laughter._

_There was a man there almost big enough to be a bear being attacked by…a squirrel. After calming down Rose began to help. She tapped sticks together, shouted, and threw things but nothing helped. Finally she randomly decided to sing. That song that had been in her head broke free and the squirrel finally left. Entranced by her beauty Emmett unconsciously began singing the song with her and the rest, as they say, is history.

* * *

_

Emmet's love song was chosen because for the longest time he felt so inferior to her. He began acting more serious toward school. I had found their story partially nauseating, partially weird, partially romantic. Much like mine. It's not every day one meets a stranger and decides to make out with them. So I chose not to judge too much.

I told Alice of my choice and she instantly agreed. As fast as humanly possible, we stuck her in a sort of fifties style dress, wiped off her zombie-fied make-up and she was off, pouring her heart out to her dreamy squirrel fighter. That should be a profession!

(I Know You)

Once she was done, she had a huge grin on her face. I knew she loved that song. She reminded me of the Cheshire Cat. Such an uncanny resemblance! I glanced at Emmett and was taken aback. Emmett, big, strong, bear-like Emmett, was on the verge of tears. Man, Rose had power! I'd never seen him cry, not even when he was six and broke his leg. I though his Love is a Battlefield ensemble would have been a very good addition to this moment.

"Emmy, what are you _doing?_" I asked.

"Nothing," he said hurriedly, taking a giant sniff. "Just g-got somthin' in my eyes, that's all." He tried to wipe them off, but it was like Rosalie's emotions had poured into Emmett and were now leaking out. Cue the swoon. Although, crying men scare me worse than that girl from The Ring.

"Aww! Now we have another girl in the group! Guys meet Emelia!" Alice announced.

"Wow. I always wanted a sister!" I exclaimed.

"Hold up, guys," Rose interrupted. "Now I'm gay!"

Jasper stared at her, 'incredulous.' "Holy crap. My sister came out of the closet."

"Ha ha. You guys are so funny, I just can't stop. Can we please continue the game?"

"You're right Emmett. Don't girls dig a man with a feminine side, anyway?" Edward asked nonchalantly.

"Where'd you hear _that?"_ I asked, mildly impressed.

"Gilmore Girls." Of course. One _must_ assume that their boyfriend gets their wisdom from that show. Where else _could _they get it?

* * *

A/N: See? I thought zombies were appropriate for this time. And Emmett and Rose's story is supposed to be weird and nauseating to make fun of the whole chick flick, fairy tale thing. That's kind of the point of this whole story. Anyway, I had a snow day today. I know! A snow day in October! How cool is that? Literally. It is freezing out there! But Halloween is this weekend which I'm excited for. I'm going to watch The Ring with my friends. Talk about scary. What are you peeps doing? My advice, trick or treat at the richest neighborhood you can find. They give out the big candy bars. Ooh! And if you're dressing up, tell me what your costume is. Can you tell Halloween is my favorite? Shocker, right?


	20. The Pixie

A/N: Hello. Remember me? Yep. I'm that writer of the story you read that time. I figure no body is reading this anymore which makes me sad but I suppose a fan base takes time. Anyway, I apologize for taking so long to come out with this. What's it been? A month? Maybe two? I got exceedingly discouraged last time for I received only one review. But I'm trying to make peace with that. Plus, school is _so_ hectic! The good thing is, this whole karaoke scene takes place during Christmas so it's all in spirit of the season.

Songs: _Burning Down the House_-The Talking Heads (I recently discovered that The Used sings this song too. Very interesting.)

_Epiphany_-Sweeney Todd Soundtrack

_Bubbly_-Colbie Calleit

**Disclaimer:** Disclaimer: You...don't...want me?

Me (staring at it coldly): No

Disclaimer goes through a deep depression then jumps of a cliff.

Me: Why did you do that?

Disclaimer: I wanted to see you.

Me: You're my only reason to live! I couldn't go on, if you didnt! (OK maybe that's an exaggeration...but my disclaimer just tried to kill

itself!) Will you marry me?

Disclaimer: NOOOO! Wait. OK!

Me: Ladies and gents, I'd like you to meet my lovely Disclaimer.

Disclaimer: She owns _me_! Just not the Twilight series...or this entire little Disclaimer story-line.

* * *

Chapter 21: The Pixie

"Stop it!" I whined, shielding myself with a book to keep the offensive stare away. And then, even though I was fairly certain IT was still there, I risked another glance. Ahh! "Alice! Come on! That's so _creepy_."

Her lips twitched, breaking her deathly façade and she sighed, satisfied. "Then I'm ready," she breathed in an old English accent, a slight Cockney twang to the words.

Rosalie got off the bed suddenly, a huff of impatience escaping her lips. "Alice, let's go already! The guys have probably burned the house down in all the time you've taken."

Alice regarded her absently as I rocked out to 'Burning the Down' in my head. "Don't blame _me _for your boyfriend's utter lack of responsibility…." She touched her hair, gazing into the mirror to make sure it looked…well, not _perfect_, but…perfect in a psychotic barber sort of way. She turned to us, face a mask of sadistic revenge and agony…at least, as much as could be possible for someone not experiencing those feelings. "How do I look, my loves?" she asked, once again British.

"Beautiful Mr. T," I said breathily, in true Mrs. Lovett fashion.

"Like a homicidal maniac!" Rosalie added cheerfully.

"Then my life is almost complete…" Alice breathed, and we escorted Washington's lil' Sweeney to the living room. The music began and I watched in awe at her remarkable ability. Only Alice, I thought, could dress up as Sweeney Todd and actually pull _this_ off.

(Epiphany-Sweeney Todd Soundtrack)

She ended the song, a razor directed right at Emmett's face. "Don't piss your trousers, my pet," she whispered, smiling menacingly. And Emmett looked to be on the verge of doing so. Then Alice leaned back, and her gleaming smile broke out on her face, her trilling laugh filling the air. Never had I seen such a contradiction! Her laughter was contagious (so much like her excessive girlyness) that we all caught the Giggle Flue. Better than the Swine Flu. Much less germs.

Not two seconds after the laughter dissipated did Alice grab my arm, commanding Rose to bring the list of songs. "_Now_ she's in a hurry!" Rose muttered behind me. I turned and smirked at her, but her head was down examining the list, and when she looked back up, a wide grin spread across her face. She showed me her choice and I squealed in an Alice-like fashion. She was much better at such things, but in that instance, _someone_ had to be the girl.

When we got to the "dressing" room, Alice saw the song, and for the first time in the years I'd known her, Alice blushed. Now _I'm_ contagious! She laughed quietly. "You'll never let me live that down will you?" But her expression was soft and she seemed to be walking down memory lane….

* * *

Edward and Alice had moved to Forks two years before I did. Esme had fixed up the old mansion in no time, and Carlisle had out-doctored all the other surgeons in town. (Not that that was saying much. Dr. Berke was senile and Dr. Crackle ate paper…). Anyway, Edward's life was centered around his music. He'd been in the accident and depression consumed him.

Alice worried for him constantly, resulting in her lack of finding friends at school. Every lunch hour she spent in the music rooms with her brother. But Edward knew she wasn't happy. Alice with no friends, was unheard of, and he demanded she find some.

Surprisingly, however, she didn't fit in very well with the other students. Most were petty and superficial.

One day, she wandered through the halls by herself. Edward was particularly defensive that day and had dubbed her presence unacceptable. But then she heard it. Laughter. A room down the hall grabbed her attention, and she grew curious.

Inside were three teenagers of immaculate beauty. One whose appearance was most prominent for he was rather large; he was heavily muscled, and tall, yet his face was full of youth and humor. A blond of an ethereal appearance whose violet eyes looked on the hulking boy's face with adoring indulgence and then there was _him_.

A tall and handsome boy leaned against the wall, watching his two friends in quiet amusement. He was calm and a soothing aura emanated from his being. Honey gold hair framed his face in waves very similar to the blond beauty before him…and then he looked at her. His eyes! Never had she seen ones quite like them. A storm of wisdom and patience collided with a fierce wildness…. And Alice knew, as she looked on this handsome stranger, that her destiny lay before her. The feelings he exuded in her were like none other, a sort of tingle in the toes, warmth in her heart that made her nose wrinkle in a confused humor. But the moment ended as The Great Hulk turned around and noticed her too.

Emmett and Rosalie introduce themselves and Grey Eyes as Jasper. He spoke not a word to her however, and though Rose assured her Jasper was shy, Alice felt disappointment akin to rejection. She hung around Emmett and Rose, for she loved them as though she'd known them her entire life. But Jasper rarely deigned to accompany them on their daily journeys to the mall or the theater. And when he _did_ join, he never so much as looked at her.

Fed up with the boy who caused her such turmoil, she decided that instead of hanging with the people who were so connected with him, she'd spend some alone time at the park. She brought her sketchbook of clothing designs, a pencil, and, because she was Alice and the very essence of whimsical, she brought along a bottle of bubbles to blow as she fancied.

She sketched idly for a time, sitting against a giant oak tree, when the need to return to a simpler age reached its breaking point. She pulled out the bubbles and laughed delightedly as they flew into the world, catching rainbows in the rare sunshine.

But a shadow loomed before her suddenly, and she looked up to see Turmoil Causer before her. He approached her, with the kind of nonchalance one performs when they are extremely nervous. A stream of bubbles floated from her soapy wand and she watched happily (and rather savagely) as a bubble popped right in his beautiful eye. She laughed softly and he blinked the soap away, his own deep chuckle tangling with hers. "It kissed your eye!" she told him. And he smiled, piercing her with his grey eyes and the tingling sensation tickled her toes, the warmth bloomed in a gust of love. "Butt wipe," she added for good measure. And then he walked forward and kissed her. (But not on the eye).

Alice heard a song, not long after, that reminded her of the feeling Grey Eyes gave her, and Jasper, who played guitar, learned the song so she could sing with him. They'd stay up late at night, for as long as they could, singing, talking, laughing…kissing. And she'd never been happier.

To my own amusement, I learned that the entire time Alice believed Jasper disliked her, he'd been too shy, too scared to talk to her. Here was this beautiful creature from some long ago dream, some fairy tale, caught in the monotony of reality. He couldn't possibly talk to her. But then, he heard a song. A song of love, of simplistic love, and he conquered his fear. All he had to do, all he _wanted_ to do, was _hold her hand_. And perhaps kiss her…. So he did.

* * *

Alice picked her out fit in a matter of seconds, and dressed in even less time. She serenaded Jasper, a vision of bubbly pink and he smiled fondly, adoringly, remembering….

(Bubbly-Colbie Calleit)

Sigh. What is with this group and insane love stories?! Making out on an airplane, getting attacked by a squirrel, and now a bubbelicious rendezvous. And, miraculously, each one held love at first sight as the basis. How romantically disgusting! Such poetry I never dreamed of!

Jasper ran to Alice and caught her in a tight embrace. We heard whispered words of love and then…. Emmett, Rosalie, Edward and I started gagging at the mushy gushiness of it all. What wonderful friends we were. And Alice and Jasper pretended not to hear, or perhaps they _didn't_ hear, caught up in their little bubble as they were.

* * *

A/N: Tee hee. That was fun to write. So there were a few little allusions to something else on the internet in this chapter. Tell me what they are in your review and I'll reveal them next chapter. Hope you enjoyed. And review review review. You don't know how much I love your reviews people.

Also, did anyone see New Moon? Personally, I loved it. Twilight was a huge disappointment to me, but this was phenomenal. I could write an entire essay about how much I enjoyed but I decided to spare you. Of course...you could always PM me and we could discuss it. I'm always open to that! :)

And, in case this note isn't long enough, check out Fredalice394's new forum called Hello to the Indepth World of Twilight. You can create a character of your choice and write a story all about them. It gets very fun and if you want more information, say so in your review, PM me, or PM Fredalice....Now I'm done. So go review!


	21. Eddieboy

A/N: Happy 2010, mon amis! I can't believe it's been over a year since I started the rough draft of this here fanfic. Seems impossible. Well, this break has allowed me much time to think about new stories I can write for fanfiction and I believe I have some pretty good ideas. Well, enjoy this chapter and thanks for your reviews.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I do own a bottle of Twilight Woods shower gel, lotion, and shower mist from Bath and Body Works. That stuff is wonderful. Like Twilight in a bottle. Like bathing in Edward's (or Jacob's if you prefer) scent.

Songs: Fabulous-High School Musical 2

Everything-Michael Buble

Chapter 22: Eddie-boy

The glory of first love really is a magical thing. I'm always in awe of the rare connection, Edward and I share, because…no man could make me feel the way he makes _me_ feel every time he looks into my eyes. When his gleaming emerald orbs smoldered my own, I felt my heart melt into a puddle of Edward induced goo. I wanted to marry him, and have his babies, and wear matching purple velour jogging suits when we were old and gray and I could barely hear his velvety voice anymore.

OK, so that's complete crap. Well, not _really_. But it _does_ make me gag to a very high degree. As much as I did love him, I decided a little torture doesn't hurt everyone. Right? Stop staring at me that way! Torture doesn't _always_ hurt. Apparently I'm packed full with this shit today.

I grinned maniacally at my dearest heart, the love of my existence, and cackled a sadistic laugh, worthy of Alice. "It's your turn, my Eddie! You get to go next."

And Edward looked scared. What now Edward. _What now_! "Love, you wouldn't perchance be interested in switching?"

"Not a _per_chance in hell, my friend."

He frowned, his eyes watching me warily, as though nervous I'd suddenly put him into some ridiculous outfit and force him to sing if he wasn't too careful. Knowing me, I probably would. Then he smirked, his eyebrow quirking and now _I_ was wary. "Care to make it interesting?"

"How…?" I asked, cautiously.

"Staring-eye contest?"

Ooh, that boy knew my weakness. He was the only true competition I had because he, much to my surprise, could hold a decent contest without the annoyance of watering eyes, or nervousness too soon in the game. We were neck and neck so far in our competitions. Some go dancing, some go to the movies; on _our _dates, we gaze into each others' eyes until we're blind. How romantic!

I turned to face him. "You're on!" I exclaimed, determined to win. The others groaned around us, Emmett, the ever impatient _and_ obnoxious presence, the loudest.

"Why do you guys find this so entertaining?" Rosalie asked, plopping down next to me, looking bored.

I peered at her from the corner of my eye. "Why do _you _and Emmett find making out in front of us so entertaining?"

She rolled her eyes, unabashed. "Because it bothers you guys."

"Good reason," I muttered, turning back to Edward who was blinking in preparation. Oh yes, we _prepared _for these little games. This was serious. Whoever won today was the reigning champion…at least until next time.

"Jazz," Edward commanded. "Give us the rules, please."

Jasper kneeled beside his sister, and cleared his throat professionally. "The rules of the Bedward Staring-Eye Contest are as followed: No. 1) No distraction in any physical form. This means no hitting, snapping of fingers, swift movements, etc, etc. No. 2) No sexual distractions, i.e. no licking or biting of lips, no touching inappropriately, and no kissing. _Period._ No. 3) No looking in other directions. Eyes _must_ be directed _at least_ towards the other players' face. No. 4) Laughing, smiling, and/or smirking _is_ acceptable unless, of course, eyes close due to the action. No. 5) Each participant _must_ take the verbal abuse from audience members, as well as, such antics from each other. No. 6) Blinking is _not_ prohibited. And, last but not least, No. 7) Remember to breathe.

We both nodded. "Best of luck, Eddie," I wished, smiling widely so he'd know I didn't really mean it.

"Yes," he agreed. "May the better _man_ win."

I narrowed my eyes. This bastard was going down. I blinked in quick succession as Alice started the countdown.

"Five…four…three…two…one…GO!"

The first few minutes were the hardest for me. At this point, the tear ducts kicked in, and the first signs of water pricked my eyes. But after a while, the water hardened and my vision turned just a bit blurrier. The initial reaction to blink faded into the background and I began our usual conversation to make one of us break.

"I love you, Edward," I whispered to him. The others 'aw'ed, trying to get one of us to crack.

"Not as much as I love you, heart's desire."

"Ah, Edward, I didn't know you cared for me so much!" Rosalie's voice interjected.

"I think we should get married, Edward," I told him, solemnly.

"Honey, I didn't know how to tell you this, but I'm already married."

"Oh really?" I quirked an eyebrow. "What's she like?"

"Blond, actually. And very tall and leggy."

"Hey that's my girlfriend, ya douche!" Emmett barked.

"Not Rosalie, Emmett. No, this is Regina." He sighed contentedly, looking very smitten indeed. "Regina Philange."

"Is she very handsy?" I asked, barely interested.

"Oh you wouldn't believe it!" he laughed, then hummed in faux pleasure. "She rocks my world!"

"Does she…drop it likes it's hot?"

He snorted, then fixed his expression in a concentrated frown. "Every single night. Just. For. Me."

The others started egging us on. Emmett and Rosalie on my side, Jasper and Alice on Edward's. "Hey Jazz," I heard Emmett speak up. "Ten bucks on The Alien!"

"You're on!" he replied, much too smug. "Alice says it's Edward, and you _never _bet against Alice."

"Damn straight!" she chirped, and I feared for myself very briefly. But this time, I'd prove even Alice wrong. And then she turned to cruel. Her voice grew desperate and pitiful, and I could completely imagine the heartbreaking puppy dog pout adorning her adorable face. "_Please_ Bella. I _need _you to lose. This means so much to me."

But I didn't break for once. And she saw that. "_Oh no_!" I heard her breathe as a sadistic smile found its way across my lips.

"Edward, sweetie?" I began in a sugary voice.

"Yes, my love?" he asked, and I heard his own voice quiver a bit in worry.

"I never did tell you about that time with James, did I?"

"Ooh!" the others exclaimed like some cheesy sitcom laughing track.

His jaw tightened, his hands clenching into fists. "You said it was disgusting," he said curtly.

"Well yes, it was." I told him very quietly, sounding almost as convincing as Alice. "But you see, that's not _all _that we did. After that little kiss, I was very…oh, what's the word I'm looking for…? Confused, I suppose. Because I wasn't sure if, perhaps, it was me or him that was the problem. So I asked him to do something for me. To do something… _to_ me. A bit more…intimate."

"Which was?" he demanded, and I looked at his chin, blushing at the mere thought.

"I asked him-" I made eye contact again. "Edward, I asked him, to lick my…."

His eyes widened. "Your what?"

"My…boot," I whispered.

And then he jumped up, blinking furiously. "_What?!_" he roared. And then seemed to realize my complete lie…whether at my shit-eating grin, or the roars of laughter from our audience, I couldn't tell. So I too got up, leaping around the room like Daffy Duck on crack.

"Victory!" I shrieked. "Haha! Victory is _mine_!" I paused in front of him, touching his cheek, and still smiling. "Sorry, hon, but today, the better _woman_ won."

"Just to…uh…get this straight, you never _did_ ask him to uh…lick your boot. Did you?" A faint blush dusted his face, his eyes darting around the room

"Of course, I did," I deadpanned. "No bigger turn on." Then, to make it seem as though I were avoiding the subject (when really, I just wanted to keep him guessing), I turned to Em and Jazz. "Gentleman…Do. Your. Worst."

Edward looked at me, feeling very betrayed, I'm sure. "What did I ever do to you?" he practically whimpered.

"Nothing. I just…." I sighed, looking down. I hadn't really meant to get all serious about this, but I suppose he needed to know. "This is my first Christmas with family, you know? And I want it to be perfect."

"So you want to see me sing in some weird outfit enforced by these two?" he clarified, but his eyes sparkled at the word 'family' and I knew he wasn't _really_ upset.

I kissed his cheek. "It's all a part of the game, Eddie."

He rolled his eyes, turning to the boys. "Right gents, let's do the deed."

As he walked away, I believe I heard the boys snickering at him, the phrase, 'You're so whipped!' being thrown around. You bet your ass he was whipped! Wa-cchh.

* * *

I learned something very important that day. There is nothing more hilarious than your boyfriend dressing up like a girl. Correction: there is nothing more hilarious than _my _boyfriend dressed as a girl, singing one of the most feminine songs in the history of forever. In all honesty, if Edward became Edwina, I would go lesbian for him because he made a pretty good woman. And _boy_! Emmett and Jasper didn't hold back. Thank you, my home-boys!

Edward wore a sparkling pink dress and extra tall high-heeled shoes made of black leather. His bronze locks had been replaced with a beach blond wig, the top reaching to about a foot higher than the actual top of his head, and the ends curled outward. He looked like a blond Tracy Turnblad. His make-up…well, let's just say Em and Jazz shouldn't quit their day jobs. It wasn't _bad_ necessarily, just very slutty. Blood red lips, and exceedingly bright blue eye-shadow marred his face. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at my man the same way again.

He peered at me cautiously, walking rather awkwardly in the heels. Haha! Who's the klutz now, dearest? "I hope you love me after this," he told me, grimacing.

"Of course," I replied, smiling wide and leaning against the couch behind me. "I love you all the more." I glanced down at his hairy legs. Ew. "Nice legs," I commented.

"Why thank you!" he simpered, and my jaw dropped because he sounded like Alice.

"Ready, sister-dear?" Alice herself called from the karaoke machine.

"Always!" he exclaimed, still high-pitched and creepy. And then he started singing.

(Fabulous)

You can't measure how much I laughed in that moment. When I'd first seen that handsome stranger in the airport, never had I imagined him singing to a song from High School Musical, let alone by the most girly chick ever thought up. And let me tell you, that boy had quite the range. Not to mention a secret passion for singing ridiculous songs. He was like the male version of Carol Burnett. And he did it _well_. Resulting in the laugh of the century. Even from Sharpay-boy himself.

Carlisle and Esme chose that exact moment to walk in. "What's all the commoti-" Carlisle was about to ask, but then he saw his son. "Esme dear, I think Edward has something to tell us."

Esme stared at him a moment…then-surprising all of us, even her husband- she held up a camera. "Say Edwina!" she shouted, and snapped a picture of his son in all his wonderfully girlish glory.

"Mom!" he shouted, running to me and hiding his face in my hair. But that only made everyone laugh harder because his pink sparkly butt stuck up in the air. She snapped another picture. I loved Esme.

"I should send these to your Nana," she pondered, smirking as she looked at them digitally.

He jerked up, looking at her in horror. "Not Nana! _Please_!"

She raised an eyebrow. "Gramps?"

"NO!" he roared, running through the hallway to the 'Dressing Room.'

The 'rents grinned at each other. "Our son!" Carlisle sighed, with mock pride. Then he turned to Jasper. "I'm resting the responsibility in your hands, kid. Make sure they don't burn the house down."

Emmett huffed. "That was _one_ time, Carlisle!"

"Regardless, I believe it would be prudent to keep _someone_ in charge."

Jasper nodded, very serious. "Sir yes sir," he vowed, with a salute.

And then they disappeared, leaving us alone once again. Will they ever learn?

"Come on, Em," Jasper said, getting up and walking to the 'Dressing Room.' "Time to go dress the little Diva."

"I am not a diva!" I heard Edward exclaim. Way to save your dignity, man.

* * *

After a while, Edward returned looking more dashing and dapper than Em and Jazz combined. No offense, guys. He entered dressed in a nice suit, vest, fedora, and all. He looked _delicious_. Forget the pancakes, I want him for dessert. And then he stood in front of me, grinning at the blush now blooming on my face. Something about the way he was smiling made me think he knew where my thoughts had gone. Look at my new humble abode, The Gutter. Lovely isn't it?

"Now love," he spoke in his musical voice, no longer Alice's chirp. Thank _God_. "I wrote this song a while back. It pretty much sums up how I feel about you." Apparently they had recorded this song fo' reals with the acoustics and everything. And though the lyrics flashed on the screen, Edward had eyes only for me.

(Everything)

I walked towards him, my eyes most likely conveying the reciprocation of everything he'd sung. "You're my everything, too," I whispered before kissing him like I'd never done before.

But too soon, Alice pulled me away. "Quit sucking face, you animals! Bella needs to sing before you consummate it right here in front of everyone!"

I hated Alice.

* * *

A/N: Hmm yeah. That was fun to write. I love that song, Everything. One of my very favorites. It's what started my obsession with Michael Buble in the first place. I can't wait to get his new album. Seriously! Also, I got that weird 'lick my boot' thing from a commercial for _Law in Order_. It was the strangest thing I ever heard, so I challenged myself to put it in my fanfiction.

And to get desperate, please put me out of my misery here. I love fanfiction. I love writing it. I love reading your guys' reveiws. But right now, I'm not feeling too great about my writing because _no one_ is reviewing. So please. _Please_, review. I don't need much. Even Howlers would be appreciated.


	22. Silly Bella

A/N: Hello Children! New chapter up. WOOT! I got tons of favorites and alerts for this here humble ole fic. Thanks to all of you peeps. You rock my world...in more ways than one! Perverted? I should think not! I'm offended by the very insinuation. Now, what you must understand about this chapter, is that there are no stories to explain how the couple got together, because, well, you've already read it. So it'd be mucho repetitive and quite redundant if I included that. Also, I didn't need a staring eye contest either. So, all in all, (what a horrid transition that is!) this chapter is quite short. But it _is_ humorous and it's definitely not the shortest one I've written. Bon appetit! If you eat fanfictions, of course. I do all the time.

Disclaimer: _Winter, spring, summer, or fall._

_All you have to do is call,_

_And I'll be there_

_You've got a friend._

More like an enemy! I hate you disclaimer. Why must you be there _always_! You are the mole on the backside of my success.

_Just say it and get it over with. I'm tired._

Fine. Sigh. I do not own _Twilight_, the song 'You've Got a Friend', or that insult. All rights go to SM, Carole King/James Taylor and

_Everybody Loves Raymond,_ in that order. Happy now?

_Zzzzzzzzzz._

Songs: Ladies Choice-Hairspray

I Feel the Earth Move-Carole King (Returning to a simpler age, ladies and gents. This chick is a genius.)

* * *

Chapter 23: Silly Bella

It seemed to be taking _forever_. They refused to tell me what they were doing, and I couldn't help feeling violated. A blue suit, yes, _suit_ had been placed on me, my hair slicked back into an oily, greasy bouffant. I _must_ look sexy. Oh yeah!

"Hold still, Bella!"

I glared at her. "Alice, come on! This is supposed to be a quick thing. Get in, get out, sing, and change. Why must you torture me so?!"

She raised her eyebrows. "Why did you have to torture Edward like that?"

I stared at her. "So now you're seeking vengeance on me?!"

"Don't be silly! I'm just pointing out the fact that everyone has to do this. Not just you. Now suck it up!"

I glanced at Rosalie who was perfecting my crazy 'do. She grinned, hiding her giggles behind her hand. "You look…" she paused a moment, unable to control her laughter. "So hot, Bells."

I scowled. "It's going to take another two hours to get out this slime, you guys." I reached up to feel it, but Rosalie slapped my hand away.

"Don't touch it, I just got it to look perfect! And anyway, it washes out fairly quickly. No big deal."

"Finished!" Alice exclaimed, stepping back to view her work. And the two cracked up at my expense. I peered at myself in the mirror and couldn't believe my eyes. I looked like…Link Larkin or Danny from Grease. I _am_ Grease Lightnin.'

"Guys," I whispered. "What song am I singing?"

They grinned mischievously. "Ladies Choice!"

Oh. My. God.

* * *

(Ladies Choice)

I lost myself in the song, mimicking the actions Zac Efron did in the movie. Winking at my audience occasionally and shaking my hips like no tomorrow. _I am Link, and I am proud!_ I thought, throwing a little Elvis into the mix.

Silence and staring followed my performance and I blushed. This seemed to break their amazement comas, and they cracked up like eggs.

"That was excellent, sis!" Emmett boomed.

I curled my lip. "Thank ya, thank ya very much."

"Very…inspirational," Edward agreed.

"I'd totally date you!" Alice pitched in.

"Sorry Jazz," I apologized, winking at Alice. "You've got some competition."

"Oh no! I'll surely lose to a ladies man like you."

"And don't you forget it!"

"OK kids," Rosalie said suddenly, "We still have to do presents after this. Let's get this show on the road. I have to wash out that gook for you."

"Rose! I _told_ you not to put it in."

She shrugged. "Darling, it made _all_ the difference. Let's get moving."

It didn't take too long to wash off, but being Emmett's sister, I, too, grew impatient. Alice and Rosalie washed out the offending oils in the professional hair-dressers' sink Esme installed last year. I know. These people were just wasteful! But at the moment, with a wonderful scalp massage being applied to my world-weary head, I couldn't bring myself to care. The girls were just that good. After that, they pulled out their heavy duty blow-dryers, yes, they had _two_, and proceeded to dry the now, quite clean, hair. A dress of a cotton material, royal purple and quite twirly, made my new outfit along with some gold flats. Good enough for me. After applying a bit o' make-up, I was ready.

Much like Edward had done for me, I had written a song about how I felt around him. What can I say? He _was_ my muse, after all.

Alice and Rosalie made me wait before revealing myself, and I watched from the hallway. "Prepare to be blown away, Edward!" Rosalie exclaimed.

"Hold on a sec." He got up and grabbed a jacket from the closet, putting it on and zipping it. He grinned looking very pleased with himself, indeed. "It's wind-resistant," he explained, knowledgably.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "What does Bella see in you, hon? You are_ such_ a dork."

Oh no she didn't. I narrowed my eyes and entered the room. "Yes, but he's _my_ dork!" I crossed my arm, daring her to defy me, but she ignored me, smirking at Edward.

He was staring at me like I was the only person in the world, his mouth slightly agape. He closed it, then opened it, then closed it.

"He looks like a fish," Rose whispered to Alice.

"Close your mouth, my man. You don't want to eat a fly!" Emmett exclaimed, clapping him on the back. Edward flinched slightly and it made me think my brother was being none too gentle because of his inappropriate gaze.

"Sorry," he murmered, his eyes returning to me. "You look surreal, love."

I blushed. "From outer space, right?" He chuckled at the reference to his song and nodded.

"Enough interruptions! You have to sing!" Alice handed me a microphone and I turned to my muse. "And Edward," Alice added. "Take off that jacket. You _do_ look like a dork."

He frowned but did as she said.

I grinned. "I wrote this too," I told him as the intro began. "You inspired it, of course."

(I Feel the Earth Move)

The moment the last note died away, I was in his arms and he was kissing me. He leaned down, my back arching like the couple in that VJ Day picture. How histormantical!

"Merry Christmas to me," he whispered, breaking the kiss and leaning back up.

I laughed breathlessly, and very thoroughly dazzled.

"Alright, you love birds, time to open gifts." Not only do I hate Alice but she totally ruins moments. I'm remembering this if I find her and Jasper canoodling in Edward's Volvo again. That time I ran away, scarred for the rest of my life. Next time I'll be cheering them on. Mwahahaha!!!

* * *

A/N: So sorry if the length dissapointed anyone, but next chapter should be longer. We'll finally be out of the whole kareoke thing which means there'll only be a few chapters left. Not much plot line after this, just tons of life altering changes and the beloved fluff. But not _too _fluffy! That stuff makes me gag.

And now that I've filled your head with wonderful thoughts, REVIEW!! Those who do, get to canoodle with Jasper in Edward's Volvo. I know you want too!


	23. The Dreaded Cheese!

A/N: You know, when I'd orginally started posting this story I told myself I'd update every week but I certainly haven't been following through. Sorry if any of you are still reading this. I apologize for my hypocrisy. Regardless, here is the next chapter. It is utterly corny as the title suggests but as Bella shall tell you, sometimes you can't steer clear of that. Enjoy!

Dislcaimer: _Momma always said life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get._ But in this case I do. No matter which chocolate I try, I know they shall never make me Stephanie Meyer. Drat you Forrest Gump...even though I love you so much!

Songs: I'll Be There For You-The Rembrandts

Now on with the story.

* * *

Chapter 24: The Dreaded Cheese!

"Hey there, sugar. My lips are made of skittles. Want to taste the rainbow?"

He sighed. "Bella."

"If I told you your body was fine, would you hold it against me?"

He rolled his eyes. "Are you finished ye-"

"Do you wash your pants with Windex? Cause I can totally see myself in them."

He simply stared. Humph. You know, some guys would actually be turned _on_ by that!

"Drat you, Edward Cullen! Here I am, trying to pick you up, and you're not even letting me."

He turned back to the lame ass book he was reading. "Sorry dear. I guess you're just not that strong...or impressive."

My jaw dropped and I stood up, very offended indeed. "You know, _sir,_ someday you are going to regret saying such things. I have never been so insulted. I'll go find some..._real _men."

"Hold on a minute there!" He grabbed me around the waist and I fell back on him, quite unceremoniously. I leaned back to look at him, unimpressed.

"You didn't have to resort to holding me hostage. I'm quite capable of holding still."

"Oh please, you were trying to put on a good show of insultation. I doubt you would have stayed even if I'd said I loved you. Which is true, of course." He kissed my cheek. Ew! Cooties! I wiped it off, fully ruining the moment, and shot a look at him.

"Don't you dare try to dazzle your way out of this one! And by the way, _insultation_? Where do you come up with these words?"

"From _you_, dearest. You're like my dictionary. You add meaning to my life."

I placed a hand on my stomach. "I think I'm going to hurl from that one."

"Why? Because it was the slightest bit romantic and not in any way perverted?"

I scoffed. "Psh. No Mr. Prudey-man. Because that was so _obvious_. I mean really, hon, you just don't have the pick-up line ability, like _I_ do."

"Well, I just wanted you to know how you make my heart feel."

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"Ah see? That's one pick-up line, I couldn't ever resist." And then he kissed me.

"Haha!" I shouted, when I pulled back. "You just can't stop yourself from getting with this!" I made a funny face at him. Sexy!

He grimaced and, of course, Alice chose that moment to enter our bedroom. "Bella? Why are you twitching your eye at my brother? I'm sorry, but I don't think that's much of a turn on." She plonked down on the bed.

"Are you saying," I said, with a hurt expression. "That this doesn't make you feel all tingly inside?" I moved over to her, trying my best to sound seductive while twitching my eye and curling my lip. "Kiss me," I whispered, inches away from her face.

She burst into laughter, swatting me away and then Edward and I had to join in. "Oh yes," Alice said through her giggles. "I want you so bad, Bella!"

"Don't let Jasper hear you say that," Edward murmured.

"I already did." He swooped into the room, placing his arm around his girlfriend. "_Mine_!" he hissed, but his lips were twitching and we knew he was kidding.

"Oh Jasper," I sighed. "Put your club down. We were just role playing. I was Alice trying to seduce you, and Alice was being you."

"And that's why she was calling you _Bella_?"

"Well," I looked away. "Some truth might have slipped through. I mean, she's a good actor but she's just not _that_ good."

"Uh huh. Well, if I have to share her with anyone, I'm glad it's you."

"Yeah!" I exclaimed. "Then we can have a _threesome_!"

"I _am_ still in the room, you know," Edward muttered, glaring at us from the top of his lame ass book. (And by the way, I apologized to the book after insulting it. No book can ever be lame ass. But this one was distracting my beloved boy toy from conversing with his girlfriend.)

"What are you reading that's so all-consuming?" I asked him. In all honesty I didn't care. Some girls have to deal with their boys being emotionally unavailable, I only had to deal with him loving to read almost as much as he loved me. I'd take that any day.

But his face bloomed a light shade of pink, and he tried to hide the book away from me. "N-nothing, love. Why don't you go join your threesome for the present opening. I'll be there in a bit."

"Eddie, what aren't you telling me? What is that?" The book was hiding beneath a pillow, the corner peaking out. It was a deep red, slightly tattered...and incredibly familiar looking. I hadn't payed attention before, distracted as I was by trying to pick him up, but now.... I looked at him with wide eyes. "Are you reading _Wuthering Heights_?!" I asked, unspeakably appalled. Because Edward, the loving, angsty and ultimately obstinate boyfriend that he was, had flat-out _refused_ to even go near the book after he'd read it for his Brit. Lit. class. Who was this guy and what had he done with my Eddie?!

He smiled sheepishly. "OK love, don't freak out or anything. But you've made me immensely curious. I mean, I couldn't _not_ see what you found so beautiful in it. I _had_ to find out. So I brought this with me...to read."

My mouth, that had previously dropped open due to my shock, snapped shut and I started smiling. "You reread it because of..._me_?"

"Well..." he ran his hand through his hair, all kinds of awkward. "Yes?"

"Oh Eddie!" I threw my arms around him, making him jump. But then he was laughing a breathless laugh and hugging me back. "You should have told me! Then we could read it together!"

Alice sniffled, looking at us with a heartbreaking expression on her pretty face. "You two kids..." she cooed, holding Jasper to her.

He shot a look at Edward. "Women," he muttered. And then he sighed when he saw Edward was gazing at me.

I glanced at my boyfriend, then at Alice, then nodded at Jasper. "I know, man. What's with all this sentimental crap? Let's open presents!"

* * *

"Bells! You da bomb!" Emmett exclaimed, holding up the new video game I'd given him, from across the room. We were, once again, in the living room. The place where only an hour ago, we had played our lovely game of kareoke. After Alice had insisted we open gifts, Rosalie protested, saying she needed time to rest. And after _that_, Emmett had followed her to their bedroom like a little puppy. It was no mystery what they were up to, but I chose not to speculate. And now here we were, gathered around the metaphorical campfire of our friendship. It also helped that their was a fire blazing in the stone fireplace by the Christmas tree. Added to the whole warm sappy effect.

I grinned at my brother. "Yeah I know. You too." I cuddled in deeper to the blanket and hugged the teddy bear. Both of which he'd bestowed upon me in his big brother-y sort of way. You know, it's silly sometimes how young he still thinks I am. But it felt nice to be a little kid again. He hadn't been there when I was growing up so I guess this kind of made up for it.

Rosalie shook her head. "I tried to talk him out of it. _Believe_ me. I _told_ him you weren't ten anymore. But he insisted. Said it would protect you and stuff. Whatever....Oh my God!" She turned to Alice, clearly distracted, and thanking her for the aromatherapy set she'd just opened.

I grinned at my brother who was clearly embarrassed and had chosen to ignore our interaction. "I don't care what the reason is. I love my little Emmy."

"Damn straight, kid," he nodded, smiling at the name for my fuzzy friend.

I turned back to the pile of presents, slightly unbelieving at actually _getting_ them. I mean, I knew that my friends liked the holidays, and I knew we would be getting gifts...but I'd never had an _actual_ Christmas before. Renee wasn't into the whole affair and gave me ten dollar gift certificates to random stores. I think I blushed about a zillion shades of red when I opened the PINK PINK PINK envelope containing a Victoria's Secret card. Cue my shudder. That remained hidden safely in my underwear drawer. On second thought, I should give it to Alice or something. At least she'd use it.

But here was an entire fountain of gifts from the people I loved most. Emmett with the fuzzy protector and blanket, Rosalie and the 'to die for' sweater and jean combo. (I actually did love it, by the way). Alice with her ridiculous, but no less amazing, exact replica of Mrs. Lovett's costume. I think even Helena Bonham Carter would be envious of this creation. And then Jasper, who I must admit, had outdone everybody. A collection of songs from obscure artists on a CD and a shiny new copy of Dracula. I loved that boy. And the delightful parents known as Esme and Carlisle had gotten everybody tickets for New York during the summer. It totally rocked having rich (and generous) friends. But you know something?

"Bella! You have to open the one from Edward now!" Alice commanded from her spot on the couch.

"But just know that we were all apart of this one," Jasper added in a justifying way. "He came up with the idea...and bought it...and thought of most the things on it...but some of us helped-"

"Thanks Jazz!" Edward interrupted. "You're a great friend."

"Just wanted her to know, it come from all of us who love her."

"I love her more than all of you compared!"

"Hey!" Emmett shouted. "She's _my_ little sister."

"Yes Emmett," Rosalie said. "But she's Edward's little _lover_."

Emmett grimaced. "No! My virgin ears. Do not speak in such a way!"

"OK, I'm opening the present now!" So did _not _want to continue down that path, thank you very much. Especially with my brother.

Edward, who had been sitting next to me on the floor, steered himself around, a wary expression on his face.

"I know this is the first real Christmas for you...with family and everything. And I wanted it to be special. But I couldn't think of anything to get. And then I saw this little girl at the mall walking with her friends and she had this bracelet on her hand. And she was really animated when she was talking to them and she was showing them all the charms on it and she just reminded of me of you and I thought that this would be best. And if you don't like it, we can always return it and the others _did_ help pick out some of the charms but I thought the major one, sums up how I feel for you. And-"

"Eddieboy, do me a favor and shut up, please." I marveled at his resemblance to Alice in that moment. He hadn't taken one breath in all of that. What a run-on sentence! I opened the velvet black box and lost the ability to speak. That's what the present was. A voice stealer. I thought you could only get these in Taiwan! Just kidding.

Resting inside the white satin, sat a silver chain, little charms glinting in the firelight. I held it up and looked at Edward in marvel. I mean, I don't wear jewelery all that much...but this, this was extraordinary. A charm of a simple red book dangled from a chain, another held a paint brush and pallet, a third a little black microphone. Four were grouped together, just little black letters. But they were the first initial of my friends and brother. And then there was a heart-shaped locket, the same silver as the bracelet itself, _Mr. Cullen _was engraved on the front. I opened it slowly, prolonging the moment.

It is amazing how seven little letters can affect your heart. How the feelings you have for someone can intensify in one instant. How these tingles just warm up your entire body, from the tips of your toes all the way to your heart. It doesn't matter who you are. There's always some form of the written word that can cause that sort of reaction. In my case, there were many. But in _this _one, seven words from one of my favorite movies, _Pride and Prejudice_ made me look at Edward in another light_._

_'You have bewitched me body and soul'_.

I grinned up at my Mr. Darcy...or as the front said, Mr. Cullen, and then at my friends around the room who were wearing identical smiles of satisfaction. So, you know something? I would love them even if they _weren't_ stinkin' rich. I wrapped my arms around Edward and planted a little kiss right on his lips. Don't tell anybody this, but I think I tasted the rainbow right then.

* * *

All the presents had been unwrapped, but the fire still crackled merrily. Emmett and Rose were sitting in front of it, roasting marshmallows on steel rods. Jasper and Edward were discussing Wuthering Heights because, believe it or not, Jasper had read it too. Carlisle and Esme were flipping through the new book Alice had given them, the one containing a myriad of old houses. Perfect for Mrs. Interior-Decorating-Cullen who used them as inspiration for new projects. But Alice was sitting oddly apart from the group, a distant gaze in her hazel eyes.

I plopped down beside her on the couch, offering her my mug of hot chocolate. She smiled slightly but shook her head 'no.'

I quirked my head. "Penny for your thoughts?"

She laughed a little, looked at me vaguely, then away. "Sometimes....sometimes it gets to me, Bella. You know? I always have this sort of _sense _about things...or I like to think I do. But sometimes...I'm just not sure."

I was utterly lost with the direction of this conversation. But friends need each other after all, and I wasn't Bella Swan if I wasn't there for my friend. "Not sure about what, Ali?"

"Just...." She struggled for the correct word and I realized I'd never seen her struggle for anything. Things just came naturally to her. "Life," she sighed, leaning against the cushion. She glanced at Jasper, then back to Rose and Emmett. "We're all connected here, you know? Everyone's siblings with somebody in the group...and I just wonder sometimes if this is all permanent. Even though I think it is, even though I think that you and Edward, Emmett and Rose...Jasper and I, will all end up together...there's a part of me, that just wonders if it's all that easy."

I bit my lip and looked away, wondering the same question. She grew worried. "I didn't mean to bring you down too, Bella, I-"

"You know what, Alice?" I said, standing up and setting my hot chocolate on the side table. "You know what I think?"

She blinked. "What's that?"

"I think, we need one more song for the night...." I walked over to the kareoke machine, as the friends I so dearly love, let out a simultaneous groan. All except Alice who was staring at me intently.

"Come on guys. This is my mutual gift to you all. How I feel about each and everyone of you. You too, old man...and Esme,of course."

Carlisle narrowed his eyes at me. "I'm not gray yet, _dear_."

I smirked. "No. You're right. Be careful Esme, or I might steal him away from you."

She laughed her gentle laugh. "I'd be willing to fight for him."

"What's this about, Bella?" Edward asked, looking up at me. I glanced at Alice and she nodded.

"This is a reassurance to Alice,and all of you really,that no matter what happens, we'll always _always_ be there for each other. Even if, god forbid, one of us couples breaks up...or we have a falling out...or a mysterious sickness takes hold of one of our number, I'll be there for you, because I love you. And I know you'd all be there for me. So without further ado-and please join in because I'm sure you're tired of hearing my voice- I give you this song." I bowed grandly and the introduction began, making them all laugh. They knew how much I loved the show it came from.

(I'll Be There For You-The Rembrandts)

Each person in the room I sang with, letting them steal the microphone away from me because they could all sing quite well. But in the end, I cuddled close to Alice and sang the last words. A few tears swam in her eyes, but she was grinning widely, and I knew she felt better.

"I'll be there for you, Ali," I whispered, smiling. Rosalie sat on the ground beneath her, Jasper took her hand, Emmett grinned down at her from behind the couch, and Edward mussed up her hair. The 'rents were looking at all of us, all happy that we were happy. And Alice glanced at everyone in the room.

"That song is _so_ cheesy, Bella." She grimaced and then laughed. "And I loved it."

Sometimes, dear readers of mine, cheesiness is good. That's what everyone must learn in the course of their lifetime. You just can't fight it. This is Cheesehead No.1 saying, If stars would fall everytime I think of you, the sky would be empty. But if stars were created everytime I thought of you, it would be a dazzling show of light. Amen to that sisters! Over and out!

* * *

A/N: Ah, now don't you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? I know I did writing this. And you guys make it all worthwhile. Alright, put away your puke buckets I won't cheese all over you anymore. Or maybe I will if it gets you guys to review. So do that please. Thanks. And stay tuned for the next chapter. We're out of the kareoke, m'dears! I think I started that in October! Must've been a very long Christmas for them.


	24. The Questions

A/N: Hiiii! How are..._you_?! I am so freakin fan-spastic I don't know how I can function! Why, you may ask? Because I just saw the amazing, the incredible, the invinsible, and the very oddly named, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, _live_! WOOT! Yep, so you should go listen to them too, because it fits this chapter, sort of. Kind of. In between. Anyways, thanks to all reviews and alerts and faves. They keep me young, since I'm so very _very _old. Also, please note that this chapter skips ahead a year or two so dear Bella is now in her senior year of high school. This chap is a tad dramatic, a bit angsty, and a little cheesy. But I tried to put in a lot of stuff. I mean, really, it's just a filler chapter before more impactful stuff happens. Hope you enjoy!

Songs: _Dora the Explorer_ theme (Yes, I am serious)

_ Oops I did it Again_-Britney Spears (Not so serious now.)

_ Beside the Others_-Tickle Me Pink

_ Guardian Angel_-Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

* * *

Chapter 25: The Questions

So what is the question of the day, ladies and gents?

Remember a few years back when I promised my dearest friend that we would always be together. Remember? And then I serenaded her a beautiful song and told her: _I'll be there for you_ and all that other cheesy stuff?

Well now the question is: Was I right?

Questions. You answer them in school. You come home and answer them for homework. You are asked something every single day of your life. And then you are asked, Will you be my valentine? Will you be mine forever? Will you marry me? Will you take this person in sickness and in health?

They have a fucking mark on keyboards so that it makes it clear you are, in fact, asking a question.

And voice inflection must always be present when asking something.

Everything in life is about stupid questions. Hell, the _meaning _of life is the most asked question in the world. And so here I sit at a table, asking myself:

What college do I go to?

Staring at me are the blessed letters from around the country. And what do I do? I stare back at them, daring them to interrupt this process.

I. Am. Terrified.

Why?

Because I'm sensitive.

Sorry. Wee bit o' the Craigyferg sneaking into my emotional turmoil.

The real reason is because at this moment, Edward is sitting across from me, staring at his_ own_ acceptance letters. Or perhaps these are _un_acceptance letters. Who knows?

But the questions still remain. And the answers lay there, unopened and indifferent to our distress.

Because there was only one college we _both_ applied to.

What?

It was a stupid decision on both our parts. We thought it would make sense. Apply to which ever college you wanted to. Whichever college _you _thought you would enjoy spending a few years earning an education. Do _not _take each other into consideration whilst applying. If we did, we would be too affected by our relationship to think about the future.

What-the fuck- ever.

Unfortunately, we found only one college in common…and we must have applied to _millions_! This put even more emphasize on, not only _that_ letter, but also our relationship. I mean, _just_ because we were both accepted doesn't mean we would_ both_ be going.

And so now we sat, staring at the letter from NYU, New York Fucking-versity, asking ourselves even more questions.

Oi with the poodles already! They won't stop_ asking_ the questions. Sometimes you really have to hate them.

And because of these awful questions, an awkward silence wrapped me and dearest boyfriend in a cone of weirdness. What were we supposed to say?

_Honey, I put my career ahead of you. Love ya and have a nice life._

_Sweetie, I am so deeply in love with you, that I don't want you to go to some other college even if it's what _you_ want? _

_My love, I want to go to this school but I don't want you to go? I'm not_ that_ desperate. _

Sounds good!

Ugh! What do I _say_? None of those applied to how I felt right now.

He opened his mouth, so abruptly that I almost jumped. Then he closed it…then he opened it again…then he closed it…then-

"Oh dear God, Edward! Spit it out!"

He rolled his eyes, running his hands through his hair, and sighing in exasperation. "It's not that simple Bella! You know as much as I, that this isn't going to be easy. What do _you _propose we do?"

"Well I don't know! I wasn't the one going all gold fish here."

"Lovely verb."

"Why thank you. I thought it up all by myself."

He raised his eyebrows, unimpressed . I exhaled sharply, because, well, he wasn't making this any easier! I was all worried about our future together and he's picking on my grammar issues. So unfair.

I wiped a hand across my face, suddenly exhausted. We had barely spoken two words to each other since we'd gotten the letters and now that we _were_ talking, it was all pissed off words and snapping turtles. Yes, I do like to use animals as analogies. "Look Edward," I muttered, glaring at the closest acceptance letter. "Why don't we…Why don't we cool off for a bit and regroup."

"You want to put this off even _longer_?" he asked, staring at me in disbelief.

"I…I need time. Right now I _so_ do not want to know what's in these letters. And even if we both get accep-" I paused, unable to voice the word. "Even if we receive good news, I don't think I will be able to fully appreciate it."

"Fine," he murmered, glancing upstairs. "I guess I'll go hang with the guys or something."

I nodded. "I'll…I'll call Alice. We'll go shopping."

"OK."

"OK." I wondered if it wigged him out, the fact that I wanted to go shopping. But as Edward ascended the stairs, his eyes unfocused and his pace very slow, I don't think he was even listening.

* * *

"You are such _idiots_!" Rosalie exclaimed, staring at me, wide-eyed. Who's the gold fish now?

I frowned deeply and Alice laughed at the expression. "You look like an extremely ugly and neglected puppy, Bella!"

Closing my eyes, I sobbed dramatically. "Well that's how I feel right now."

"Mmm-hmm." Rosalie walked backwards, paying little attention to what was behind her. She had a sense for these things. It was such an impressive talent of hers, this perpetual gracefulness. Not once in the three years that I'd known her, did she fall. Unless she was aiming for that in a play or something. But intentional falls do not count.

Alice threw a pair of jeans and two shirts at me, steering us towards the lingerie section. "What's the big deal, Bella? It's not like this is the end."

"Long distance relationships aren't the most realistic, Ali."

"So you'll both go to NYU." She shrugged her shoulders, as if this was the most obvious solution.

"We don't even know if we want to go there. We don't even know if we got _in_- Ew! Alice, no way am I wearing that." She took the incredibly revealing negligee away with a roll of her eyes. _Thank you_, demented pixie.

"And whose fault is that?" Rosalie asked, stopping in the middle of the isle. She turned to the left and marched over to look through a selection of bras. "Procrastinating is not going to make this any easier, dear."

"I know," I groaned, burying my face in the pants. "But already we were fighting just to make the separation process easier. I hate psychological reflexes. They've _always_ been my enemy."

"Bottom line, Bella," Alice said, turning around. "You will go to art school in Denver, Edward will go to music school in Vermont and you'll meet up every couple of months."

"That's easy for you to say. Jasper is willing to follow you anywhere."

"So do a Jasper. Follow Edward."

"Alice, I love Jazz. I think he is a wonderful boyfriend. And I think that what he's doing is sweeter than butterfly poo-ing unicorns. I _also_ love your brother. Quite a bit actually. But no way in _hell _am I determining my education, and future, on a _boy_. I always promised myself: education first, romance second. Just because they arrived out of order does not mean I'm going to negate my beliefs."

"Oh bitch bitch bitch! Bella, you and Edward have something unbelievably special," Rosalie said, as Alice scurried away to look at 'totally trendy boy shorts' and ignoring my beautiful speech. "Besides, if you_ do_ go to another school, you are going to be so sexually frustrated you'll have to resort to masturbation. Do you really want to be _that _kind of girl."

"Really? You want me to determine my entire life on the fact that if I go to the same school as Edward, I'll satisfy my sexual urges?"

"I'm just saying, it should be taken into consideration. I know from personal experience that long distance relationships are hard on a woman's libido."

I stared at her, my cheeks redder than normal. I mean, I knew it was hard for her, dealing with Emmett going to college in California, her in Oklahoma, but, _why_ did my best friend have to date my brother? Mental images were my worst enemy…next to psychological reflexes.

"It'll be hard on Edward too, Bells. Think back to when you were so incredibly turned on and you couldn't do anything about it. For him, it has to be even harder. I mean, he has to deal with something sticking up during class."

I laughed evilly, thinking back on my cruel flirting I'd participated in just to make Eddie-boy miserable. The resulting erection he'd had to endure was in no way the reason we'd consummated our relationship last year. Not. At. All.

"What's sticking up?" Alice asked, peeking around a clothes-rack of camis.

"Your brother's winky," Rosalie deadpanned. Bow down to Queen Rose, commander of all things visual and blunt.

Alice didn't ask much after that. At least I didn't have to worry about _her_ poodles.

"Come on," she squeaked, utterly freaked. I feel for you, dear. But at least it was a subject I didn't cringe at. Other people's embarrassment is _so_ much more entertaining. "Let's get this stuff and eat."

"But we didn't even try it on!"

"Bella, honey, bestest friend of mine. Look who you're talking to."

"Psychic pixie, right. You just…_know_ these things."

"Exactly. Let's go." _Jump in. Vaminos! You can lead the way. Hey! Hey! Doo doo Dora! doo doo doo Dora! Doo doo Dora! doo doo doo Dora! Swiper no swiping, Swiper no swiping! _Oh man!_ Dora the Explor-_

"Bella!" Rose exclaimed. "Why are you singing that? _Why?_"

"Huh?" I looked at her confused, and then realized I'd been singing the theme song aloud. Nice. "Anything to take my mind off the questions, Rose."

"Sing The Used or something. Anything is better than _that_."

"How 'bout, _oops I did it again_-"

"Or that!"

Hmm. Some people just can't appreciate crappy music.

* * *

We returned to my house, shopped out, fed, and laughing. Unfortunately, that did not put me at much ease. At the back of my mind, I knew Edward and I would have to deal with the situation sooner or later. And that sooner or later was going to leave us sad and broken…or sad and apart.

The boys were playing football in the front yard and as I watched, I felt sort of guilty. Emmett was standing near the door, grinning away, and I felt I should've been hanging out with him. I mean, he was only here for a few days. Soon he'd be returning to California and I wouldn't be near Emmy bear (the person, not the stuffed animal) anymore. Tomorrow would definitely be bro/sis bonding day. How very 7th heaven.

Sadly, my wondrous thoughts of family time affected my focus.

"Bells, heads up!" Jazz shouted, staring at me in mild horror. How horror can be mild, I'm not sure, but Jasper can certainly pull it off. I snapped my head to the left, just in time to see a brown pointy ball of doom. I don't think I'd ever find such a thing flying at me. I didn't have time to move, or scream. I think I let out a high pitched yelp and after the brown pointy ball of doom collided with my forehead, I had a sort of out of body experience.

I'd read this excerpt of Freda Kahlo's biography and she'd said that when that train rail pierced her stomach, she'd had one too. She said, she felt no pain, but that her spirit had lifted itself out and she'd watched herself, watched the ambulance coming for her, watched her shattered self being scraped off the ground.

At the time, I'd believed it to be something so beautiful and unimaginable. Just one notch above fiction.

But now?

Granted, I'd only been hit by a brown pointy ball of doom. But _man_! I felt like I was watching this scene from heaven or something, seeing Edward freaking out more than Emmett as he scooped up his girlfriend's body; Emmett looking around completely lost with Rose screaming her head off, telling him she would not be sharing her bed with him tonight. It must have been his fault. Then Jasper comforting Alice who seemed terrified and surprised, an unlikely combination for her.

Yet for all that I was 'seeing,' only one thought came to mind.

Regardless of where Edward was, the girl in his arms belonged in New York. She needed the city and the adventure and she needed a different kind of life. If NYU accepted her, that's where she would go.

The poodles stopped barking then.

And my out of body experience ended soon after.

* * *

I awoke to a throbbing pain in my skull and an odd sense of de ja vu. I'd experienced these sorts of situations before. I'd had _dreams _of these situations before. They happened_ that_ often.

And then a movement on my shoulder startled me and I opened my eyes.

"Em, she's awake." I heard Jasper's voice say quietly, and I focused my eyes in the direction of the phantom movement. His gentle blue eyes met mine and he smiled. It had been him! He was the phantom…mover. Nice name, I know. "Good morning, Sleeping Bella."

"Morning?" I asked, all groggy and croaky. Very _bella_ indeed.

Emmett kneeled in front of me, looking utterly upset. I tried to sit up too, but he placed his hand on my shoulder. "Don't sit up, kid. You really bonked your noggin there."

"OK grandpa," I said, patronizingly. I mean who the hell talks like that? "Thanks for taking care of me, but I'm perfectly alright."

He rolled his eyes. "Just take these and drink." He handed over a couple white pills and some water.

"What happened?" I asked, ignoring his complaints as I sat up. But I kind of needed to in order to swallow the Asprin. My forehead stung , I had a headache, and my ears were ringing. But there was something immensely relieving in all this mess. The _silence!_

Not one thought of college or romance or the damn poodles possessed my mind. Just the question of what happened…and where were the others?

Emmett and Jasper explained how Edward had carried me inside, the girls getting pajamas to change me into while the boys took care of all the meds, pillows and what not. Then Edward had called Carlisle to check in on me and assure him that I hadn't received a concussion. The others kind of figured it wasn't that serious, but Edward was always prone to overreaction. Then I'd just slept on the couch for I preferred it to my bed whilst injured. There was cable TV down here, what can I say?

Apparently, Edward hadn't left my side for hours, but Emmett and Jazz had kicked him out when they saw how he needed sleep and a bathroom break. I'm kind of glad I hadn't seen that. What would he look like? A living zombie doing the potty dance? I don't think I'd be able to have sex with him after that one. The girls were upstairs sleeping in my room and Edward was sleeping in Emmett's.

"What time is it?"

"Three thirty," Jasper said calmly, turning to the TV and laughing at the _Shamwow _infomercial.

"And you're still up?" I asked incredulously.

"The girls made us grab Edward, but he wanted someone to watch over you in case you woke up," Emmett said, plopping down into his chair and heaving an exhausted sigh.

I shook my head slowly. "This isn't the first injury of mine he's been around for. I don't get why he's so anal now."

"Ah, he loves you, Bella," Jasper said, wrapping an arm around me. "He knows you guys may not be around each other soon. Makes him even more…_Edward _than usual."

I cringed against the thoughts that followed. I'd already picked my school. I'd chosen my path, despite whatever happened between us. Still, the poodles were silent, and I thanked the very merciful lord for that.

"Well, thank you for taking care of me, guys." They shrugged and returned their attention to the TV. _Men!_

I excused myself to get more water, and headed towards the kitchen. My head still hurt a little, but the ringing was gone now and I sighed, resting my hip against the counter and filling my water glass. And then spilling the water in a frightened shock. Because sitting at the kitchen table was a very tired, very harassed looking Edward.

One hand was in his hair, the other gripping a piece of paper, and his body was rocking back and forth. He looked like some psycho on crack. Better than a zombie with bladder control issues.

"_Edward!_" I exclaimed breathlessly and he looked up, his eyes dazed and dark.

"Hey," he muttered awkwardly, belatedly.

"Hi…" Silence. Awkward silence. Oi with the poodles already! The amount of gay babies in the world would reach an ultimate high by the time we were through.

"Ah fuck this!" he murmured quietly. In the next instant, I was in his arms and his lips were on mine. And then things were different…and exactly the same. No more awkwardness, no more side stepping. Nothing. It was just Edward and Bella and they were kissing because they were in love. And that's how it had always been…. And that's how it would always be.

Epiphany kisses. Only Edward can create them. Talented, I know.

"Are you OK, Bella?" he asked, still very close, so he looked like my beautiful Cyclops again.

"Yes."

"Bella!" he repeated, more intense, as though he thought I was down playing it or something.

"I'm perfectly fine. Physically." Then I felt weird for adding the last part, like I was blaming him for my emotional turmoil.

"Right. Good," he said, looking away. And then he returned my gaze again, his eyes determined with an inexplicable melancholy. "I got into NYU."

My eyes widened, and I looked behind him to the table. "You did?" I hissed in suppressed excitement. Running to the table, I snatched up the letter and read: _Dear Mr. Cullen, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accept- _"You did!" I said again, as if he didn't know.

"I did." He was staring hard at the fridge with the ugly ass magnet Emmett had found in my suitcase. How it'd gotten in there, I didn't know. And as to why he liked it so much, remained a mystery. It was a picture of me, laughing my head off, my grin wide and reminiscent of a jack o' lantern as I'd been losing many teeth at the time. I'd like to think it was Renee's sort of a joke- ha ha, give my daughter this. She'll hate it- but I think it was her idea of a parting sentiment. Thank you, mother, for giving me a horrific momento of my childhood self.

"Well look excited or something, honey! You look like you were given the death sentence."

"I don't want to miss that, Bella," he whispered, still staring at the picture.

"Miss what? My childhood? I'm sorry, dear, you're a tad late for that." I smiled to myself, quite pathetically humored by my own joke. I know, I am oh so hilarious. At least, _I_ seem to think so.

"No, this." And he turned around, touching my lips. "Your _smile_."

I blinked, because, well, how many guys would tell you _that_. "You don't?" I said, in a small voice, staring up into his eyes. I wasn't humored much anymore.

"Well you kind of ruined it now. You're not smiling."

I rolled my eyes, trying to control my mouth. But, inevitably, a small grin escaped me.

"There it is!"

"OK, OK, and why are you going to miss my smile?"

"What if you don't go there. It's where_ I_ want to go. More than anything. I mean, it's _NYU_. But, I also want to be with you and-"

"And my smile."

"Exactly."

"Well aren't you just a smile whore."

"I'd prefer something like addict. At least, it's gender neutral."

"You could be a smile _man_-whore."

"Too wordy."

"Well you just can't win, can you?"

He placed his forehead on mine and sighed. A bit of a forehead whore too, aren't ya, dear Eddie? "What do we do?"

"Open my letter. See if I got in."

"But do you even want to-"

"I like your smile too. It's all crooked, and sexy and it makes my heart go all funky and you have these crazy teeth that look like a vampire's. And, you _know_, I have a thing for vam-"

"There are a zillion better art programs in the world, Bella," he insisted. Huh. You really _can't_ win with this guy.

"Ugh. Edward just hear me out, alright? New York is the center of the arts. _Everything _is there. If I get in there, I _am_ going there. No matter what you decide, it's NYU for me. Why do you think I'd apply in the first place?"

"If you're sure...."

"Of course I am. Now can we please open this? _Please?_" I grabbed the envelope and bit my lip, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. This was it, the moment we'd all been waiting for. "Just remember, hon, nothing in this decision dealt with you. You do not matter what's so ever." Hey, it's what he wanted to hear. Right?

And then I opened the envelope, and this moment, I remember in flashes. The ripping of the paper, the pulling it out, the reading the line three or four dozen times…

And then smiling at Edward so he wouldn't miss it… Not that he would. Because, I was in fact, going to NYU.

"But your smile, may have a bit to do with it," I told him, handing over the paper.

And he was grinning, all crooked and sexy and my heart went all funky and I wanted him to bite me. His arms wrapped around me and he kissed my neck, and for a crazy moment I actually thought he _would_. But then he said, "I didn't know you had such a vampire fetish, Ms. Swan." And then I stopped thinking about his smile. The questions, and stupid poodles, and awkward silences were gone. And we were still Edward and Bella. And that_ was_ how it would always be.

"Love you, Eddie," I whispered.

"Almost as much as vampires?" He was laughing now, thinking himself all smug. Hmph.

"Almost."

"But I vant to suck your blood." Lovely accent there. Really.

And he was still laughing. I'm never going to live that down.

* * *

A/N: Yay! Things happened! We've gotten somewhere. You know things. Emmett and Rose are in college. Alice and Jasper don't know yet but where ever Alice goes Jazz will follow. Aw. And now, Bellie and Eddie are going to NYU together. Such beauty I never dreamed of. Next chapter more things happen, so stay tuned. And review if you want.


	25. I'm Not Okay

A/N: Hello everybody! Not much to say this time. This is the beginning of the last few chapters of the story, which means a tad more exposition. Something I don't love to write all the time...at least not in stories. Regardless, Bella needed it. And as a side note, know that she is ending her senior year of college right now, so she's 21 at the moment. And I know this has more drama in it, but don't worry. Nothing in these next few are going to be soap opera-worthy. She just needed a chance to break out of the fluffy, repetitive karaoke. Now is for the redundant angst! Hells to the yeah! OK, on with the show.

Disclaimer: _Well, if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say. I never want to let you down or have you go..._I'm reading this. No way! So Twilight is not mine...nor are the lyrics to this song. That's My Chem, all the way.

Hot n Cold- Katy Perry

Do You Love Me?- Fiddler on the Roof

All That I've Got- The Used

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)- My Chemical Romance. (Yeah, I know I've done this song before, but it's more in keeping with this chapter. I mean, it's this chapter's anthem so just listen...again. 'Tis a wondrous song!)

* * *

Chapter 26: I'm Not Okay

Awesome. That's how I was feeling. In a defeated, sarcastic way, and in an honest, real, 'I'm invincible!' way, too. Because, for once in my life, things were not straight forward, black or white, good or bad, yes or no, hot n cold, in or out...the list goes on and on...

I mean, I'd had issues in life, of course. I'd lived with a near absent mother, never known my father, lived with an unrequited love for over a year, and was attacked by the questioning poodles when college reared its dramatic head.

But through all those times, things were one way or the other. Bad, lonely, frustrating, or dreaded, they allowed me to take stock of the situation and work to change them for the better.

Now?

Now I'm in a catch-22 of love, happiness, and emo-ish pain.

See, I had gone to NYU, alongside my beauteous beaux and Rosalie, who transferred the same year. And it had been a blast. Hard, yes. Challenging, you bet. And, consequentially, a zillion times better than Forks High could've ever been. At least, in education. In the name of friendship, we still missed our Emmy-bear who was finishing up college in California, and Jazzy and the Psycho Pixie, who'd been jumping from school to school every year. Now they were taking up residence in Arkansas. Yet new friends were gained, as well. Kate, Irina, and Carmen, Edward's fan club in the music department. I would've been jealous had they not been the coolest chicks on the history of the planet. Jane and Alec, were my crazy ass art friends. And then, of course, Rose's evil and amazing roommate, Victoria. Still, we made plans with the original gang every chance we had.

As art school increased in difficulty and intensity, I gained more help and closer relationships with the crazy ass art professors. One of them, the craziest ass of all, who was therefore my favorite, had just discovered an internship in Paris and he'd said it was right up my alley. And so begins the awesomeness.

"Are you serious?" I stared at him like he was an alien, which, from his somewhat emaciated body, pale complexion, jet black hair, and wide burgundy eyes, it wasn't much of a stretch._ So_ hot. Before me, stood the truest artist I'm sure I'd _ever _get the privilege of knowing.

His laughter lines deepened as he glanced down at me. It was always odd talking to Professor Aro, especially with those unusual colored eyes that looked like rich red blood had melted into the black darkness. He was a mystery, but always patient with my far-fetched ideas, encouraging any type of creativity. And now he was giving me the chance of a lifetime! I'd probably need to send him a muffin basket or something.

"Yes, Bella," he was saying, smiling fondly. "You were the first person I thought of when I discovered the position. It _is_ a pricey sum, but I've spoken with Carlisle, and he and Esme are _more_ than willing to chip in."

Chip in? Yeah right. I'd agreed to move in with Edward here, only because it'd made most logical sense. Rose already had an apartment and roommate she liked. She was in no position to take another in or get out of her lease. Besides, I'd liked the idea of living with Edward. But then, that crazy Cullen family had bought a ridiculously expensive loft for us that made _zero _sense, negating my original intentions. We were a young couple, facing the big city one step at a time. I'd believed we'd live in a crap shack that had bugs crawling around as we worked our minimum wage jobs. Yet it made them happy to provide for us, so I'd graciously accepted; but _now_ they wanted to pay for my studying abroad, _too_? That was unacceptable!

I shook my head, and somehow he seemed to know what I was going to say. He lay a hand on my shoulder, those eyes deep and endless, like never-ending tunnels. "Bella, I've known the Cullens for many years-"

"I know that, but-"

"_Listen_," he chastised, calmly. I bit my lip to keep from talking. "And they haven't been _half _as happy since you entered their lives."

"How did I-"

"You gave their boy hope, you gave him a purpose. Which is to make_ you_ happy. By extension, they want to do something for you. Out of all your time with them, have you accepted much, other than the occasional Christmas present?"

"Well, they bought my apartment…."

"They would have gotten one just as expensive for Edward."

I looked down, scuffing my worn converses in the dirt. My eyes glanced up at him, squinting against the setting sun. "I wanna do it…."I mumbled, still unsure.

"And you _should_ do it! Bella, they are so unbelievably grateful to you. They just want to show you that."

I nodded my head slowly, then glared at him with a sudden suspicion. "They put you up to this, didn't they?"

He laughed soundly, which told me that, yes they most certainly did, and then he proceeded to give me all the details of my impending voyage, clearly trying to change the subject. Very subtle sir, but not subtle enough!

* * *

"Were you actually considering _not_ accepting the internship?" Edward asked in disbelief as I stepped through the door.

"Oh yeah, my day was splendid, hon. How was yours?" I took off my jacket, slipped off my shoes, and headed to the fridge for a beer. _Fuck._ We only had Edward's girly shit. Stuff was nasty and tasted like fucking _blueberries_. Whatever; hooch was hooch.

"Cut the crap here, Bella. You were _actually_ considering?" His voice was getting all intense and loud, so I walked toward him, drink in hand.

"Yes. I was," I told him in a soft voice. My free hand glided through his hair, and I thought wistfully of the first time I'd run my fingers through it, back in Forks. Edward must've remembered too, or perhaps he was suddenly aware of how silly I looked, covered in paint as I was. It's what art classes do to you, what can I say? Regardless, he calmed down, and a small smile touched his lips.

"I'm sorry. How _was_ your day?"

I laughed. "Good. Pretty _damn_ good, actually. How'd you find out I was going to say no, anyway?"

He rolled his eyes. "Aro called after you left. Said, by no means, am I to let you change your mind. I can't _believe_ you were considering not taking it. After all these years, you were going to miss your shot because of _pride_?"

I shrugged, wincing as I took a big gulp of the blueberry shit. He scowled at my grimace. "It's not just pride, mister. There's guilt too. Something I'd think _you_, of all people, would understand. Carlisle and Esme aren't even my biological parents!"

"Guilty of what?" He wrapped his arms around my waist, feeling very secure and _there_, that I just melted against him.

"I don't deserve it, Edward." It was a whisper, spoken into his chest, but in the quiet kitchen it sounded as loud as an atomic explosion.

"I beg to differ," he disagreed quietly, a rumble in his chest that felt all the more soothing. He pulled back. "Aren't _you_ the one who receives Outstandings in all her classes?"

"Well there was that one that-"

"And aren't _you_ the one who got a letter from a famous artist, saying how great your pieces are?"

"OK, she was just being poli-"

"No. She wasn't. And aren't _you _the one whose painting is mounted on the wall of the main administrative building?"

"That doesn't prove-"

"Yes. It does. Now do I need to continue, or have I interrupted you enough?"

I lost steam with a deep exhale. "Nope. I'm good."

"Yes. You _are_." He gave me a final squeeze, then grabbed my hand and led us to the couch.

"What movie?" I asked, plopping down.

"You decide," he murmured, taking his seat, my drink that really should've been his-at least _he_ could swallow it down-and pulled me against his stomach. Despite the hardness of his abs, I believe it was my favorite pillow. Or his chest. Or the crook of his neck. Or- You get the point.

I settled on the old and newer versions of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, grateful that for once, Edward wasn't pouting at my mooning over Johnny Depp. We ate Chinese food from the crappy place down the street, and I quoted all the lines, until I almost fell asleep.

But then-

"Bella?" His voice rose softly, a breath against my cheek, and the resulting blush woke me even further.

"Mmm?" I muttered lazily, opening my eyes. They met his, serious and intent, tracing every line and curve they found upon my face. I mentally cringed at the annoying zit by my nose. Even hotter than Aro.

"When do you…leave?"

My inhale was slow and shaky. "Three days."

"How-" He cleared his throat, voice strained and gravelly. "How long?"

I bit my lip, swallowed. "Four months."

"Four," he breathed, dropping his head to the crook of my neck-see how comfortable they are?-and stayed that way for a few minutes.

When he sighed and detached himself, I asked him if he wanted to sleep. "No," he said. And then he pulled my shirt off. So we had our time together, well into the night and into the morning. Soon we'd be apart, and that hadn't happened since…Jimmy. Perhaps we were _too_ dependent on each other. But even I_,_ girl who didn't want to give up future for a boy, wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

The sound of clattering pans awoke me the next day, and I pulled on one of Edward's shirts, pattering down the stairs to see what the ruckus was about. "_Damn it_!" I heard a velvety voice curse and laughter escaped me as I found my dearest boyfriend in an odd predicament. He was clad only in boxers, on the kitchen floor, a cooking pot covering his pretty head like a weird space costume a five year old came up with. Mmm…Edward would make one damn fine astronaut, I do believe. He pulled the offending helmet off only to see my grinning face, his expression all adorable and sheepish. "Um. Hi."

"Morning," I said, glancing at the counter covered in various breakfast foods. "Did you make all this for _me_?"

"You sound surprised."

"Well, it's just…a lot." I walked over to him, gave him a hand up, and he started brushing his boxers off. I think to draw my attention to his fine ass. Hmph. Show off. "How did you end up on the floor of all places, dear? With a pot on your head?" I think out of the eight years I'd know him, I'd seen him fall once, not counting today.

"I may or may not have dropped some butter on the ground. And I may or may not have noticed until I was walking to the oven, trying to put this on the stove." He shot the pot a glare. It sat innocently on the floor, not saying a word. "And I may or may not have slid on the butter, threw the pot in the air and fell. It landed on my head." He kicked it once, sighed, and tried once more to place it on the stove. This time, it worked.

I shook my head. "Maybe it's a good thing I'll be gone for so long. I'm rubbing off on you too much."

"What if I _like_ you rubbing off on me?" He said it in a low voice, oozing sex big time, and I blushed.

"Well, _that_ I don't doubt. But think of when we're 80 and we both go to the ER with broken hips. I fall and then you trip over my prostrate body."

He grinned. "At least we fall together!"

"Aw." I walked to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. "Only you, Mr. Cullen, could make future senior injuries, romantic."

"It's a talent not many possess." He kissed my forehead. "Now eat, love. I told Rose we'd pick her up at two to go shopping for your trip."

I looked at him, confused. "You don't have to come."

"I-" His face was abruptly serious, his fingers stroking my red cheek. "I want to. We don't have much…." _Time,_ I finished in my mind. He didn't seem able to.

"OK," I said. Because it was. And then…I ate!

* * *

"_Do you…love…me_?" Edward sang grandly, as the three of us walked through Target's entrance. I recognized the Fiddler on the Roof tune, an opening for our bit we'd made up years ago.

"Say _what_?" I said in reply, pushing the red cart through the aisles. He placed his hands on my hips, walking behind me.

"_Do you…love…me_?" It was a longing rumble, deep in his heart, and though many people were looking over in our direction, seeming to enjoy his voice, I had to be me and end it.

"Nah. You smell." And I broke away from him, pushing the cart faster. Rose cackled next to me in her evilly witchy way, cheering me on with great female support.

"That's not what you said last night," Edward disagreed seductively, ensnaring me in his grasp again.

I shook my head at Rose. "This is what happens to men once they get laid, isn't it?"

"Yes," she agreed solemnly. "They have sex and then-"

"Everything's an innuendo," I finished. Edward didn't seem to be listening, distracted by the Avatar on Blue-ray for 16.99. I didn't understand his obsession myself. Blue people. _Big deal._

Rose sighed. "I miss Emmett."

I smiled sympathetically. "He'll be back here soon, hon."

"Two weeks," she said, breathless with excitement. "_Yes!_ It's just a shame you won't see him before you leave."

"Yeah," Edward and I sighed.

"OK you two, what all do we need? Who's got the list?" She did that creepy turn around thing again, walking backwards like it was nothing. I wanted to call her Mater, like the truck from Cars.

Edward and I looked at each other. "List?" we said together.

She stared at us. "You didn't make a list of all the stuff you needed?"

I blinked. "Uh…no?"

"_Edward_!" Rose exclaimed in exasperation.

He jumped. "What'd I do?"

"You're supposed to be watching out for her, you dolt!" She slapped the back of his head. "Didn't _you _know about this whole thing before _she_ did?"

"Yeah," I agreed righteously, and slapped him on the back of his head, too. You know, for good measure.

"I miss Emmet," He sighed, rubbing his head.

I kissed his cheek when Rose's back was turned. "That's not what you said last night," I whispered, and then I caught up to Rose, linked my arm with hers and we made our way to the shampoo aisle. Score one for the Bella!

"You shouldn't take too many liquids, OK? 'Cause it's a pretty long flight. Plus, it's spring, so there's bound to be some turbulence. But do you need any hair products? Not shampoo or conditioner, but mousse? Gel? That weird Gelee stuff? You _are_ going to France though. These all sound very French."

"I need Frizz-control," I mumbled anticlimactically, grabbing the kind I usually did.

"Get the smaller one, and I'll grab some sandwich bags for this stuff. Go get your necessities. I'll be right back." She headed off to get the bags and I stared after her a moment, dazed. She'd make an excellent mother one day.

"Coming?" I called to Edward, who was staring, fascinated, at the different kinds of feminine shaving cream.

"Sensitive skin. Interesting." I heard him mutter to himself; I snickered quietly. "Yeah, I'll catch up in a minute, sweetheart!"

I shook my head at his girlishness and pushed the cart to my favorite aisle. Yeah, for being an artist, it was weird that I loved the tidiest place in the store. My favorite was the aisle by the pharmacy where the traveling samples of deodorant, tooth paste and floss rested in neat racks. I just loved the order to it, how small and cute the samples were.

"Look at this!" I exclaimed happily, when he finally caught up. I showed him the adorable stick of Rain Shower scented deodorant. "Look at this little guy. _Man_! I just wanna take him home with me." I glanced at his hand, holding a hot pink can of- "_Raspberry Mist, Shaving Gel,_" I read. "_For sensitive skin. Fresh and luscious. Every girl's dream come true_. Hmm. Sounds just like you! Though, I would've taken you for a Watermelon Twist, kind of guy." I smiled up at him. "Planning on shaving your legs?"

"_Ugh_! I don't want you to _go_!" he groaned, mauling me in a hug. He burrowed his face in my hair, inhaling deeply. "And it's for my _face_, love."

Right. Cause he had _such_ a full beard, already. Keep dreaming, babe. I wrapped my arms around him awkwardly, since he was resting all his weight on me fragile bones. "Alright, sweetie. What's changed since two minutes ago? You were fine back in the other aisle."

He pulled back and paced the floor, throwing his hands up in a frustrated gesture. "I wasn't _fine!_" He spat the word. "I was _coping_. You can smush_ All That I've Got_ with _I'm Not OK_, and you've pretty much got the gist of what's going on in here." He pointed to his head. "And," he added, pointing to his heart. "Here."

"But you _hate_ My Chemical Romance!" I said, in horror. Then I rolled my eyes. "Something _I've_ never understood."

He huffed. "I _know_! Just adds to my misery."

"Well," I struggled, looking up at the ceiling. "Do you…do you want me to not go or-"

"No!" he exclaimed, mauling me once more, this time a bit gentler as he held my face in his hands. But I was still getting tired of the mauling thing. And I though _Emmett _was the bear. "No, Bella. This is your shot. I can't let you throw that away."

"Well then, dear," I grabbed his hands, slowly releasing them from their grasp on my face. I placed a kiss on the back of each one. "I believe we're in a bit of a pickle. You don't want me to leave and you don't want me to give up the chance, either. That'd be mixed signals, if I've ever heard 'em. So what do we do? I'm guessing you can't come….?"

He sighed, shook his head. "Work starts in two weeks. I have to prepare for it before then."

I swooned a little, despite the seriousness of the situation. Mr. Cullen, reporting for duty as New York's sexiest piano teacher. Watch out ladies. And gents, too. I'd be worried with_ this_ man prowling around the musical town, ready to seduce the most unsuspecting women. But then I shook my head out of the daze.

And that's what has landed me _here_. To that double-sided awesome feeling. That feeling of monotonous gray, rather than the black and white I was used to. And stuck in a very confusing catch-22 of love, happiness and My Chemical Romance pain. Awesome sauce.

I took a deep breath. "Just tell me not to go, and I won't." There we go. Safely away from the gray. It was now a yes or no decision. Problem was…the answer was out of my hands. It shamed me to think that four years ago, I wouldn't go to a college _because_ of a boy, but now I was allowing said boy to make this decision _for_ me. Yet even though I would've thought differently back in the high school, I knew I could trust a boy to do so. Just as long as it was _this_ one, right here.

And so, I waited for what he'd say. Waited to hear the inevitable answer and where it'd take me as a result….

* * *

A/N: Wow. More things happened. Edward's all romantic and emo. Bella's released her feminist ways...sort of. And Rose is getting sandwich bags. I think her story is the most dramatic. Rose the Sandwich Bag Shopper, facing the world one grocery item at a time. Well, hope you enjoyed. Review if you want.


	26. L'amour de le Maison

A/N: Counting down the chapters until the end, my friends. Can you smell that? That's right. It's the end of an alien-humored era. And _boy!_ It's taking me a _fucking_ long time to get here. About the songs I've chosen...well, as this is the beginning of the end, I figured I'd be nostalgic. So, I chose a favorite song from my childhood for the first song, another for when I was a bit older-the true theme of this chap, and a current favorite of mine in my old, withered age. Enjoy the chapter.

Songs: _Fun_-Rose Falcon

_Home_-Michael Buble

_Taste of Ink_-The Used

Le Disclaimer: Hello! It is I, Arthur, King of the Brits.

You are not ze king, or even an Eengleesh type-a! Now disclaim, or I shall taunt you a second time-a you connnnigit!

What a strange person!

I 'erd that you elderberry! Disclaim, you son of a silly person!

I'm a girl, thank you very much. And I don't own Twilight...or Monty Python. But a king can dream, right?

I zot you said you were a girl.

La fuck yourself!

* * *

Chapitre 27 (Or 26 depending on how you look at it. Honestly, it doesn't really matter): L'amour De La Maison

You know what sucks? Mornings without coffee. You know what sucks even harder? Vampires? No! What? Are you _so_ obsessed with vampires you feel the need to make a pun out of them every chance you get? Yes. Oh...Well then, at least we're being honest here. No. What sucks more than that caffeinated beverage I thrive upon, is the fact that my best friend, my lover, my prince charming (enough cheesy?) could not be in the most romantic city of the world with me right now.

Yep. He'd said I should go. Did you expect anything less? And while I _dearly_ appreciated the boy allowing me a chance at success, I also_ dearly _missed him. Life's funny like that. I don't think I'd ever be able to live without that grayness. Depressing? Well...yeah, now that you mention it.

Don't get me wrong. Paris was amazing. OK, sucky adjective but that's the thing. There were no words. I'd arrived, exhausted from the fucking long flight-still hate the heights, and this time I didn't get butt heaven-and it was already the next day. Extreme jet-lag is not my friend. And then I couldn't find my apartment (which was really a hotel room) for the life of me, so I decided to call a cab. And when I tried to tell the cab driver the address, he didn't _understand _me. The only thing I could think was, _five years of French and the people can't even _understand _me?_ But then he'd laughed and said he was only joking. Apparently, he liked to tease the tourists. Something in my expression told him to shut up though, and he finally did drive us to the place. Good little French boy.

But once I got to the apartment, I was sold. It was quaint and small, but the bed was luxuriously soft. I fell asleep in an instant, dreaming that my Eddie-boy was there with me.

And then the internship started. My boss was a wise museum art collector who traveled in various parts of the world, searching for new masterpieces to add to his place of work. He was from Italy and, as the world was such a small one, he happened to be old friends with Aro. Marcus taught me the ways of trade and telling the difference between legitimate art pieces and fakes. He showed me what he thought good art was and while I sometimes didn't agree with him, I enjoyed it and learned a lot through his perspective.

While I worked with Marcus, I also met the artists on my team, and various others. Would you believe that Jimmy happened to be here as well? With, you guessed it...

Tanya. That's right, Crazy Bitch was shacking it up with Fish Lips. I couldn't believe it.

"Bella?" he said in shock, when Marcus introduced us.

"You two know each other?" Marcus asked in that slow, care-free way of his.

"Yes," I said quietly, not too pleased with the current situation. I'd had reoccurring nightmares of that stupid kiss. "We go way back, sir."

"Hmm small world," he muttered, walking away to greet other employees.

"I can't believe it's you!" He tackled me in a hug, reminiscent of Emmett...and for that moment, I let myself forget the past and laughed.

"Good to see you, Jimmy. How've you been?"

"Great!" he said, and I was happy to see he meant it. "I forgot you loved art so much. It's _insane_ you're here."

"What have you been up to? I didn't even know you were an artist."

"Photography is my calling, actually. My beautiful girlfriend helped me discover that." He smiled over at a strawberry blond talking to Marcus and I stared at her.

"_Tanya?_" It was kind of a rude exclamation but she didn't seem to mind. In fact, she hardly looked surprised to see me.

"Bella Swan," she said slowly, and then, people, wait for this...she smiled _and shook my hand!_ I know! I know! "How's Edward? You two still together?" I would say she said it nonchalantly, but it wasn't even that. There was barely _any_ emotion _at all._

"He's good. Real good. At NYU. Majoring in music."

"Music? What instrument?"

And then I kind of realized something. The past, that stupid plan she and James had devised, were all adolescent exploits for people they'd _thought _they loved. In reality, they'd been kidding themselves the whole time. What is it about growing up that makes us actually see life for the way it is, and not for what we wish it to be? When do we become realists and face the facts, instead of longing and hoping and devising cruel plans in order to get something we want?

Tanya had never really _known_ Edward. She'd noticed him. Saw how gorgeous, and perhaps, how different he was from other guys, but she'd never known him like I did. She didn't know his favorite colors, or the fact that he hated vanilla ice cream with a passion. She didn't know he had a deathly fear of big hairy dogs and she didn't even know he was a modern-day Mozart. All she'd ever known was that she'd wanted him and she was going to go through every means to get there. I glanced at Jimmy. But while she'd done so, she'd found real love. Interesting how life works out, isn't it?

"Piano," I said, slightly delayed but she nodded anyway, beginning to discuss the internship as though we'd been friends for years.

But don't be fooled, dear readers. I'd once fallen for the tricks of this coy, clever conundrum, this psychotic sycophant, this...this...OK you get the pic. So I was _not_ going to besty her. She was _not_ going to entice me further. Still, it was nice getting that closure. Even though Edward and I had moved beyond that petty high school drama, I found that reuniting with this bizarre couple allowed me to bury some insecurities I still had. Should I be grateful to these two then? Well, I'll let you be the judge of that.

* * *

Edward's reaction to this encounter was less than pleasant, and as he'd always been prone to overreaction, I did my laundry while he spewed forth all his misgivings and cusses about the two over the phone that night.

"_Are you even listening to me, Bella?_" he snapped in frustration. Just in time, I picked up the phone to continue the conversation.

"Mmm hmm," I muttered, hiding a yawn as I sat down.

"_Good. Because you _have _to understand how very unacceptable their behavior is. After everything they put us through, they think they can just act like you've been friends for ages? And I'm sorry, but I don't think I like the idea of you being anywhere _near _that James without me. I can't imagine him being faithful to his wife and not missing his chance to steal you away from me. Know, love, that I trust you completely. It's him I don't..."_

I put down the phone again, knowing this could take some time. It didn't even sound like he was on his second wind, yet. I went to the bathroom, showered, brushed my teeth, brushed my hair, got dressed in my pajamas, got a drink of water and then returned to the phone by my bed.

"_...kind of museum,_" he was saying, "_even _hires _people like that?_ _I guess Carlisle was right when he said there's always somebody in every group. I just wish it weren't _these _somebodies..."_

"Right, right," I agreed, opening a book and picking up at the place where I left off. I tuned out his words, allowing only the velvety cadence to wash over me like a nice song or lullaby. Finally the rant ended and he exhaled sharply.

"_Sorry,_" he muttered. "_You didn't even tell me how your day went_."

I laughed softly, very tired. "Can I fill you in tomorrow? I'm kind of beat."

He groaned. "_I'm _so _sorry. I just can't _stand_ it!_"

"Oh really? Because here I always thought you and James were soul brothers. Here I thought you were waiting until I left to return to Ms. Tanya and carry her off into the sunset."

"_I wish you were here right now to see me shiver._"

"I'm sure you do it very well. But really, hon, I do need to sleep. I'll tell you about everything, and I do mean _everything_, tomorrow night."

"_Fine,_" he sighed.

"Really," I assured him, because he still sounded down. "Every little thing. From the type of underwear I'll be wearing, the amount of times I use the toilet, the number of words I say in the day...even the number of breaths I take."

"_Uh huh, you're mocking me now._"

I snorted. "Dear, there are about a hundred things I could mock you about. I just chose the lightest one this time. Doesn't every relationship need a good humorous background?"

"_OK, you're right. Get some sleep, I love you, and while you don't have to tell me _everything_ about your day, I would, indeed, like to know which underwear you wear tomorrow._" And without even letting me tell him I loved him too, he hung up. The cheek! The next day I wore granny panties, just out of spite. Take that, you ranting bastard!

* * *

Regardless, I didn't hang around James or Tanya for long. My job was very demanding, and the friends I _did_ make were apart of my art team. Creepy Couple was, thankfully, not part of it. The internship, while fun, payed very little and only happened during the week days, so on the weekends, I'd sign up for a few singing gigs at the cafe near my hotel room. And let me tell you, the French are really great listeners. Who would've thunk it? So much for being snooty. Although I think that one _did _fart in my general direction. Am I kidding? You will never know.

With so much going on, with late night phone calls almost every night to that special ranting bastard, lonesomeness and loneliness(what's the difference, anyway?) wasn't _too_ over the top. Sure, we missed each other, but we weren't puddles of longing goo, awaiting the time of our return. Until...two weeks before my internship ended. What is it about less time, that makes it feel longer?

I got to the hotel room after a long afternoon with Marcus. Some business associate of his had delivered new paintings, though the man was far from trustworthy. We had to determine if all the pieces were in fact the real ones, and several hadn't been. Marcus was furious and he chose _me_ to retrieve what was rightfully ours. And that sleaze-bucket, _god!_ I just wanted a bath when I got...to the hotel. Yes, for as wonderful as Paris was, I still couldn't call it home. At that point I couldn't really figure out why. It was better than New York, the people were friendlier, the historic aspects encased me in their ancientness, the city lights twinkled brilliantly from my window. Why should it not appeal to me more?

My head aching, I went through my bags, trying to find some Asprin for my head-ache, the bath not helping much at all. And then, I discovered a dirty shirt of Edward's amidst the clothes. Not _dirty_ dirty. There was no grime or anything, but it smelled precisely like him. That little boy's sweat and honey and lilac and sun and shower gel, a smell that seemed to perpetually cloud him in a heady whirl. And then, ridiculously, tears pricked my eyes. And so I pulled on the shirt and I curled up on the couch, watching crappy Spanish soap-opera's, without even thinking about the fact I couldn't understand what they were saying. And then the phone rang, _bring-_ing me out of my daze. Hah. Even in emotional distress, I can still be punny. Bada _bing!_

"Hello?" I answered flatly, unfocused, staring at some Spanish chick pushing her long lost sister down a stair-well.

"_Why the fuck didn't you call? You had me worried sick! It was _your _night for calling_." His infuriated voice was beautiful, and the tears spilled over. Now I was sobbing and Edward started freaking out. "_Bella? Love? Are you OK_?"

And even more ridiculously, I started laughing, which gave me hiccups, and I was _still _crying. And Edward was having a heart-attack and his smell was surrounding me, and I suddenly got this over-whelming feeling of _home, _and I just couldn't _breathe_.

Finally, I got a hold of myself, but Edward was still being all mother-hen. He'd always been capable of beating me in intensity. At that moment, I didn't care.

"Edward?"

"_Bella. Tell me what's wrong. Right. Now._" Holy crap, that guy could get hissy! I could practically see him pinching the bridge of his nose, his jaw all clenched and sexy. Ah to be home again.

"Did you put one of your shirts in my suitcase?"

Nothing.

"Edward?"

"_Yes,_" he whispered after a long silence.

"Why?"

"_I...I don't know. I figured you liked sleeping in them so much at home and I rather like the look of them on you...and I just thought if you ever got home-sick...it would give you...something to cling to... Bella?_"

"I love you." I didn't say anything more, and Edward didn't question my PMS-ing. Granted, I'm sure he knew what had been wrong after my interrogation, but things returned to normal after that.

So despite his distaste for all things vanilla, his silly dog fears, his overreactions and rantings (honestly, the guy was going to go prematurely gray or bald with all that stress), he also had this uncanny power of bringing me back _home_... even if we _were _oceans apart.

* * *

The following morning I was awoken by a surprise call.

"_I'm getting married!_"

"God! What time is it there there, fucking pixie?"

"_Don't call me that. Especially not a soon to be Bridezilla. You know what could happen? She'll tear you apart with her vicious claws and stuff her bouquet down your throat! Do you want that? _Do you?_ Bella? Are you listening to me?"_

Whoa. In that moment, she sounded more like her brother than I ever wanted her to. "Mmm hmm," I mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"_Then congratulate me, girl! This is my _wedding _we're talking about."_

"Congratulations," I yawned, glaring at the window. Why wasn't the sun out to see me? I looked at the clock. "Ali, it's four o'clock in the fucking morning. I'm going back to bed."

"_But!_"

"Go to sleep."

"_It's only ten here!"_

"Not my problem. Good bye." I hung up and curled back into the warm cacoon of blankets. Finally, gently, Mr. Sun came out and awoke me with his awe-inspiring brightness. I stretched and glanced at the clock, flashing a respectable nine thirty and, as if on cue, my phone began ringing.

"_Shall we try this again?" _Alice asked.

"Yes. Let's."

"_OK."_ She took a deep breath. _"I'm getting married!"_

"What? Oh my goodness gracious! Alice I'm so happy for you! How did he propose? Send me a pic of your ring! I could do cart-wheels and somersaults, I'm so ecstatic! Was that too much?"

"_Not for a girl like Rose, but for __you__, yes, way to much. I appreciate it._"

"So tell me. How _did _he propose?"

She began her romantic tale, and let me tell you, I listened through the _whole _thing without setting the phone down once, _and_ I awed at the appropriate parts. See? I'm only heartless to my boyfriend.

And Jasper did one damn fine job with his Alice. They lived in a small little college house with a few others, the town quaint and minimally populated. Alice, she could make friends _any_where. So Jasper asked some of her random chums to take part in his plans. Alice had been walking home from her job at a diner. It was late and she was tired but she and Jasper had a dinner date that night as they hadn't had a quiet moment in weeks. She hurried home, the distance walk-able, and she noticed on her way the odd signs held up by her pals. The first said her name '**Mary Alice Cullen'** in big black letters, the second said '**Will**_'_ the third '**You**' then '**Be**' and '**My**' and finally, she came to stop in front of her house, all smiles and spastic-ness-well, you can imagine-and Jasper was there, on one knee in front of their house, a bunch of Alice's friends watching from their own windows. "Wife?" Jasper finished, popping out the beautiful ring. She sent me a picture of it from her cell and I sighed in wonder at it.

"_I don't know where he found it,_" she told me. _"He won't tell me either. And that shows you he's got balls, if he's willing to keep information from_ me_. It's not traditional, but I love it even more for that. Don't you love the design?_"

Indeed I did. Rather than having a big obnoxious diamond in the middle, Alice's ring was a silver masterpiece of swirling curls and leaves, little diamonds embedded in the pattern. "It's amazing, Ali. So artistic."

She laughed. _"Of course you would see it that way. But you're right. Anyway, I can't wait to start the planning. I think we're going to have it here in Forks."_

"Really?"

"_Yeah. Forks just seems like home to me. You know?_"

Lordy. After last night, I certainly _could_ understand that. "Sounds good to me. I kind of miss it."

"_I think we all do..._" She trailed off thoughtful. "_You know Bells, after everything you, Rose, and I have been through, I don't know who will be my maid of honor."_

I laughed. "Let Rose be yours, I'll be Rose's and you can be mine."

She paused. _"Really? That would be cool with you?"_

"Absolutely. Rose can make yours as lavish as possible. Something I'd never be able to do. _And_ she'll be a bigger part in her brother's wedding. As I will be for Emmett's and you for Edward's. See? All works out."

"_Ahh!_" she screamed. "_You're going to marry my brother!_"

I blushed, staring at that sweet smelling shirt I was still wearing. "I thought we'd established the fact that we want to be _home_. Well I feel at home with Edward."

"_Damn Bells. You'll be set for your vows at least._"

"Please. I go traditional and nothing else. Self-written vows are just _disgusting_."

"_Ahh! You're already thinking about your _wedding _with my brother!_"

"Oh, go call Rose or something!"

"_Ooh, good idea! I called her last night but now I need to tell her she's my maid._"

"Might wanna choose different words there. She'll feel all old, otherwise."

"_She's only twenty-two._"

"Older than you, _and_ you're getting married before her."

"_Point taken. See you, love you, talk to you later._"

"Bye." I said but she already hung up. Hmph. I hope Jasper knows what he's getting himself into. Must call him to remind him not to let Alice have coffee in the mornings. Although, I think she'd be like that the morning after a proposal, anyway.

With one last whiff of my Home shirt, I was ready to start the day, the Edward-sized hole in my chest not healed but much more manageable than last night.

* * *

So it had been four months. Four months of art and history and learning the biz with which I hoped to immerse myself in. I'd danced the night away here, I felt alive and in the moment every second of the day. But it was time to go back. Back to school. Back to stinky N.Y...back to Edward.

Technically I had graduated, but missed the graduation ceremony. To me that wasn't a big deal, though I _did_ miss Rose getting her diploma. Something I later learned she had dumped in the trash as a symbol of not caring what awards she got for being an amazing actress. I pointed out the fact that it wasn't an award, and she looked ready to strangle me. I shut up.

Anyway, I was due to go back to New York in T-minus...two days, packing up my clothes and happy with our plans. Rose was picking me up, dragging Edward along with her. _Dragging _because he wouldn't know what they were doing. I realized I'd never told Edward the exact date of my return, and when he'd asked on the phone I told him Sunday rather than Saturday. Figured it would be a nice surprise. As a cover up, Rose had told him she needed the Volvo to pick up a friend from the air port, and as Edward trusted no one with his precious automobile, he insisted on driving as we knew he would. And so in two days, I'd be returning, after savoring the sights, smells, and city lights of Le Paris, ready to surprise my love. Puke! Vomit! Throw-up! But in the very sweetest sense.

* * *

A/N: Le sigh. I just love Paris...and home...and Edward...and Jasper...and...OK, honestly I could go on all night. Leave a review, tell me what you thought, I'm going to bed now, because it's 1:35 in the fucking morning. Thankfully, not 4. Peace le out.


	27. We Are Gathered Here Today

A/N: Howdy! Back again right before schooling starts. Sucko. So for one of the last chapters (probably one or two left, folks) I've come out with this little piece. Now be warned. It's cheesy, sappy, and not my best writing. But, it was fun. So enjoy.

Disclaimer: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to say that I do not own the Twilight series nor will I ever. Thank you for coming, donations can be given in the back. Donations for what I don't know, but donations nonetheless.

Songs: Reunited-Peaches and Herb

Marry Me-Train

Any sappy song you can stand.

* * *

Chapter 28: We Are Gathered Here Today...

"Land! Beautiful, solid, dirty land! How I love you! How I want to be _consumed_ by you! How I want to spend the rest of my life right here, right now. With only you, and you alone! Love, love! Deeper than any ocean. Truer than Romeo and Juliet. Love _so _deep and _so_ true that-"

"Bella would you get up, dear. You're making a scene."

"No!"

"Bella! Don't make me drag you to the baggage claim."

"I'm not leaving!"

"Believe it or not, the floor will still be just as beautiful, solid, and dirty over by your luggage."

"Not _my_ floor. This is _mine_. _My precious!_"

"The security guards will be pleased to hear that. And your Gollum impression is atrocious."

"The security guards don't understand this rare connection." I said, ignoring her last comment. "They'll just have to deal."

"What a shame. And here I thought you would want to go home."

"This_ is_ my home. I shall live here."

"On the floor."

"Yes."

"In the airport."

"…Yes."

"Not your apartment."

From where I lay prostrated before Rose on the disgusting floor, attracting the attention of all kinds of people-one of which was checking out my butt, hope you enjoy, my friend- a glorious memory of my apartment flashed in my mind's eye.

"Yes?"

"Getting a little less powerful in your conviction, there. How about this? Eddie-boy's moping in the car right now. If you hurry, you can probably make him happy enough so that I can take the wheel. We took the Vanquish, and I want to drive it. Keep him occupied in the back seat or something."

That got me up and off to the carousel in two seconds flat. I needed my boy almost as much as the beautiful land beneath my feet.

We found him standing against the brick cement wall of the airport with two motorcycle dudes…smoking a cigarette.

"Oh my god!" I shrieked. "When did he start smoking?"

"Never," Rose said, completely pissed. "He's been moping. Drinking more than usual. And rarely going out with me or Emmett. But other than that, he hasn't done anything out of the usual. I'm going to kick his ass."

"Kick it for the both of us please. And then I'll surprise him out of nowhere. And kick his ass for Emmett…and Jasper…and Alice. He's in for a world of hurt."

"And some good lovin. Now that you're home."

"Well, that's a given. But damnit, I'm angry here! Let's focus on that."

"It was just one cig, Bells."

"You getting soft on me, Hale?"

"Not in my nature. Excuse me." She sauntered away, fully charged and raring to go beat the crap out of my boyfriend. Such a good friend. "Edward! Boy, you are so in trouble! You won't be able to walk by the time I'm through with you! What the fuck are you doing!"

I scaled the side of the building in deep shadow so he wouldn't see me, and hid behind a pole, watching cautiously as Rose scared the hell out of the bikers and slapped Edward upside the head a few times. Then she walked to the driver's side of his Vanquish and fumed inside. That was my cue. He was rubbing his head from the blows he had received, his face all twisted up in that look he got when life was too confusing and it was a wonder he could still be in living it. I pondered how long it had been there. But soon, that look would be history. As quiet as I could, I creeped up behind him-which wasn't quiet at all, but he was thankfully distracted-and leaped upon his back in a pose we had perfected over our time together. His hands skillfully gripped my legs and I wrapped my arms around their place at his neck. That scent, that timeless, homey, Edward scent was all I could smell. Man, I'd missed my boy.

"Why hello there, Eddie. Long time no see."

"Bella!"

"That's my name don't wear it out."

"Bella."

"Hey, I _said _don't wear it out."

He released me and turned around, drawing me into his arms in an embrace of epic proportions. "Never again! Never ever again. Too long."

"I agree."

"Never again Bella!"

"OK."

* * *

"I cannot _believe_ you were smoking. You are such an _idiot!_"

"Thanks dear, love you too."

"Come on, Edward. That's disgusting."

He shrugged. "It was just one cigarette. Nothing major…and I was really stressed out. Thinking you'd be home tomorrow and having to wait an _entire_ _night!_ Come on, Bella. You're home now. Forgive me?"

I sighed. "Rose, do you think I should?"

"Don't judge your opinions on what your friends think! This is _your _decision." Did he honestly think that I'd be OK with it if Rose said no? Stupid boy.

"Fine. I _don't_ forgive you."

"Rose, please?" So _now _he wanted her opinion. Hmph.

Rose glanced at him, then at me beside her. We shunned him to the lame ass back seat. Sucker. "Well, as opposed to the whole smoking thing as I am-because dude, disgusting habit to get into and it makes your breath smell amazing- I've known guys, Emmett included, who have done stupider things."

"Really? Like what?" I asked in disbelief.

She rolled her eyes. "He got high at a concert once. Junior year, right before you came to Forks. Stupidest thing ever. But right now I don't want to be a prude, and this was a small indiscretion if you think about it. Plus it's your homecoming. _Plus_, I smacked him round a few times, pretty good. I think you two should just be focusing on being reunited."

I sighed…. "OK." In the back, Edward let out his own relieved sigh. And then we both took up singing a crappy rendition of Reunited. Love that Elmer's Glue, baby.

Rosalie groaned. "I should've made you stay mad at him until we got home. This is frightening."

"_Reunited and it felt so good. Reunited cause we understood!"_

"Kill me!"

"_We both are so excited cause we're reunited, hey hey!"_

"If you two don't shut up soon, I'm dumping you on the side of the freeway." And because it was Rosalie, we took her seriously and shut up.

* * *

I truthfully didn't want to be mad at Edward and I agreed with Rosalie about the situation. But when we got back to the apartment, I refused to kiss him…on the mouth-are you glad for that clarification?- until he brushed his teeth four times and mouth washed twice. I would've gone for a third, but his breath was minty fresh and his lips were begging for mine, so I kissed him and we stayed in bed for the rest of the night.

"I'm glad you're back," he whispered when I awoke the next morning. The sun was pouring into the room in a muted glow, quiet and yellow and wistful and endless. I loved waking to that light right next to him in our beautiful, solid, and now dirty bed.

"Really? That's good. Because that welcome home would've been _entirely_ inappropriate if you had some British chippy stowed away in the closet."

"That would only be possible if I went to England."

"Hey, Brits of all sorts come to the Land of the Free. And now that I'm back on American soil I can't blame them. _Tons_ of English chicks are here, my friend. The chick who plays Hermione in Harry Potter said in an interview on the Late Show she was coming to the States for college. She could've easily come to NYU, saw you looking sad and forlorn in a coffee shop, and felt an overpowering need to cheer-up the handsome stranger in the corner."

"Wouldn't be possible. You weren't there."

"Yes, but she's a witch see? She could Alahomora you into loving her."

"Doesn't that unlock things?"

"What?"

"Alahomora."

"Yes."

"Then why did she use it to make me love her? Wouldn't it be better to use a love potion?"

"Ah, but Hermione is very smart. She knows love potions only work to a certain extent. And she knows you are already in love. So she very wisely unlocks the chains of your heart that keep you from loving someone else, which releases all your feelings towards me and allows her to sink her witchy claws into you."

"If I have her love, why did I just do you, then?"

"Because, you totally changed into a cool, bad dude living on the edge. Smoking with his biker gang, shacking it up with a British chippy and keeping it all secret from his still very much in love girlfriend. How could you Edward! How could you!" I turned away from him to bury my head in the pillows and closed my eyes.

"God, I missed you!" he laughed, rolling over to wrap his arms around my waist. I twisted around to look at him. And his eyes were very earnest and very adoring and I knew any sort of humor would just ruin the moment. So I very wisely took out my magic wand and freed him from the chains of his heart. Which is a weird way to say I banged him again.

"You have room to talk," he said, afterward.

"What?"

"Who's to say you didn't find some attractive Frenchman who whisked you off your feet like that bowling instructor on The Simpsons?"

"Oh yes, a sexy mysterious man with a sexy mysterious accent dressed in a sexy mysterious black turtleneck saw my desperate need for some good bowling lessons and took me away to show me his bowling balls. It was hot."

"You should've taken a leaf from Marge's book and left find your loving and devoted husband."

I blinked. "Well, I'd need a husband first, wouldn't I?"

Bright red. And stuttering. That's what Edward was in the next few moments. "I-I-I mean…You know-boyfriend. Lover. Mac to your cheese. Cream to your puff. Awesome to your sauce. Husband is a foreign entity. Who needs a husband? _I_ sure don't. What is a husband? Who in this day in age is a husband?"

"Homer Simpson?"

"Yes…well…he had to be, right? He got her pregnant."

"Wow. So that's what's going to make you want to tie the knot? If you get me knocked up? How very…1950s." I smiled and was sad to admit there was a _tiny _very _minuscule_ part of me that was depressed at this news. Husband. Marriage. With Alice and Jasper's recent engagement, I knew the words would be cropping up in my mind for a while. I just didn't think they'd crop up in reference to me. Who knew I, out of all the chicks in the world, would dig the idea of marriage? Pathetic. And the fact that the Edinator was freaking out, helped very little. OK. It may be a tad bigger than a miniscule part of me.

"No-I-I-I mean." He blinked. He stopped. He fixed me with a stare. "Do you want a-a-Homer Simpson?"

I rolled my eyes and laughed at him. "Nice. Ask me when I'm _not _jet-lagged, bedraggled, and have the impending adventures of your Bride-zilla sister to look forward to." Look at how well I subtly change the subject. But, seriously, he was having a heart-attack! And Edward was in tip top shape. In _all _aspects. So the idea that he'd soon pee his pants over me being his lawfully wedded wife, with me in the same bed, was far from appealing. "I'm going to go shower. Join me if you wish, but let me tell you this. Even if little Bart wasn't coming round the mountain in our situation, this particular Marge would still say yes to her Homer. Just something to think about."

* * *

It took him a few moments, but Edward soon joined me, much too speechless for words. And he didn't ask again. However, the fact that the idea was now out there in the wide open spaces of our future, made the moment all the more impactful. In the next few hours, we were up and dressed, ready for the calls Alice had scheduled-yes _scheduled_-for this two thirds of the immediate wedding party to converse with her one third. This is a fancy way to say, a call with Em, Rose, Edward, and I on one end, and the bride and groom on the other.

The majority of the conversation was a storm of plans and ideas-all Alice's-with everyone-including Jazz-agreeing with whatever she said to do.

By the time the call was finished, I had collapsed against Emmett's shoulder, my feet draped over Edward's legs and Rosalie's head on my stomach. We were all on the floor, having sunk off the couch a while ago. Somewhere in the midst of Alice's commands, we had simultaneously fainted. OK, that might be a _slight_ exaggeration, but hey, I was tired!

I started laughing.

"What!" Rose complained since her pillow was moving oddly underneath her.

"Haha! You have to plan the _whole thing_!"

She groaned. "You planned this didn't you?"

"At the time, no. But man, I have good preservation instincts. I couldn't imagine coming out of this wedding alive if it was _me_ planning it."

"Rub it in all you want, Swan! It's just going to be even worse once you have to plan _my_ wedding!"

Emmett jumped up beside me, clearing his throat in a frightening manner and making me fall to the floor. "What the hell, Em?"

"I uh…I uh…got to go check my…make-up. Yeah. Bye."

I looked at to Rose and we busted it up laughing. "His make-up? Ah man. Never knew your guy was so feminine."

"He doubles as a transvestite. Just found out last week."

"Really? How interesting. I'd like to see his show."

"It's amazing. He sings a wicked Celine Dion."

"I'm sure he does. Hey, Eddie. Go check on your bromance in there. He seems almost as afraid of the M word as you, dear."

Rose's eyebrows quirked up. "You getting _mmm_utations, guys?"

"Nope. _Mmm_utilations. Sweeney Todd style."

"Gross. How about _mmm_utts?"

"Eddie's afraid of dogs."

"Am not!" he grumbled, heading over to the powder room to check on Celine.

I grinned at Rose. "Tomorrow we should tell them we 're both pregnant."

She cackled. "You're evil."

"I learn from the best," I said, nodding at her.

"True dat. And don't you ever forget it."

* * *

"Isn't everyone happy for me?" Alice exclaimed grandly and the party laughed at her excitement. Jasper's eyes never strayed far from her face, and it was surreal this moment. Everyone was here for the wedding rehearsal. _Everyone._ People I had no idea Alice would ever befriend like the freaky chick Zafrina from the tattoo parlor and her two girlfriends. Yeah, _two_. But the moment was so surreal because everyone in this room loved Alice or loved Jasper and we were all in the same room together. And it was hard to concentrate on anything except that I was sitting between Edward and Emmett, and Jasper was smiling bigger than I'd ever seen him smile, and Rose was dabbing her sparkling eyes, happy for her brother and her best friend, but more for the amazing party she'd thrown. No glittering ice sculptures, but a ginormous chocolate fountain that I had stayed near the majority of the evening.

"Dance with me?" Edward whispered, because a fanspastic song was playing and we couldn't deny the urge to sway.

"OK, Homer. Let's go."

"I wish you'd drop that. It's been over four months."

"Sorry, Homie. I won't _ever _let that go. I like it better than Eddie."

He groaned in a what-have-I-stuck-myself-with kind of way. But then he smiled in a I-wouldn't-have-anyone-else kind of way and pulled me in close as we reached the dance floor. The song was soft and simple and sweet and wedding-y. Sappy and what-not. I guess that was what we were here for though, right? And if anyone could pull off the sap, it was Alice and Jazz.

I _did _dread tomorrow for one important reason. I knew I was going to trip when I walked down the isle. I knew it. I didn't need Alice's psychic abilities to predict the possibilities. It was an inevitable fact that walking down the isle would put copious amounts of pressure on me. And the fact that everyone in the wedding was counting on a successful ceremony, I just knew it would happen. The only thing I could affect was how bad the fall would be. A full out Vaudeville fall resulting in a rip down the back of my dress or a tiny Thumbilina tumble? These were the questions that haunted me. That and the sudden look of panic on my friend Jasper's face.

* * *

"I'm insane for doing this!" Jazz exclaimed when I met him and the boys in the men's dressing room. Today was the big day, folks. And for the record, men are the weaker link. Today was proof.

"Bella! Oof! -Damnit! What are you doing in here!" Emmett's pant leg was around his ankle and he was hop-scotching around the room looking slightly the worse for wear. His curly hair was disheveled and I cringed at the sight of his briefs.

"Whitey-tighties, brother? Really?"

He actually blushed and, thankfully for me, hid behind the couch in the dressing room. "Rosie likes them. Don't ask."

The only one who remained calm was Edward. He shook his head at the pair and planted a kiss atop my head. "Hello beautiful, you look gorgeous." Still he was capable of making me swoon.

I looked down at my deep red dress. It fell just passed my knees and a large bow wrapped around the middle sinching the waist. But I think Edward liked it because of the plunging v-neck. And then Alice had ordered Rose and my hair to be teased into gentle waves. I didn't mind the attention too much because this was Alice's wedding and anything she said went. I must admit, she could've gone a lot harder on us. _And_ we didn't have to worry about the ugly bridesmaid dresses like many chicks had to do. "Not that I mind," said Edward, "But is there a reason you're here? Isn't it customary to calm the bride just before the ceremony? Bella?"

Honestly, he was all too distracting, dressed in the dapper suit Alice had chosen for the guys. Only a few things Jasper was allowed a say in. Make that one thing, and Alice took charge when she didn't like what guests he was inviting. Like his own family. Poor Uncle Jim. It wasn't _his _fault he got drunk at the Hale parents' wedding renewal. They were all a bunch of assholes, he just had colorful ways of dealing with them.

"Oh," I said, coming back to the moment. I turned to Jasper. "I came to make sure you were OK, man. I didn't get a chance to talk to you last night and you looked freaked."

His eyes widened and he came at me, wrapping his hands around my shoulders. "Bella! I'm going to mess it up! I'm going to ruin it! I'm going to leave the toilet seat up after I use it! It's going to destroy the marriage!"

I had to fight not to laugh. "Hon, you won't ruin it."

But he was beside himself. "Yes I will. _I will!_"

Emmett successfully got his pants on and came out from behind the sofa. He sighed. "We've tried calming him down. Nothing's working."

"Come on Jazz, relax. This'll be easy as pie. Just get ready and everything will take care of itself." Jasper still had to put his shoes on and finish tying his tie.

He was pacing up and down wildly. He grabbed the radio clock on the bureau and tried to put it in place of his shoe. This dressing room used to be for women and extra make-up applicators were still in here. He took a blush brush and started applying invisible rouge onto his cheeks. And then he took his pants off. I don't know why on that last one.

I licked my lips. Alright General, time to pull out the big guns. I pretended to roll up my sleeves and marched up to him, hoisting his pants up to his waist and buttoning them. "Listen you, your bride to- be is in a dressing room now waiting to be wed to the man she loves. You _cannot_ disappoint her today. You asked for this bucko, you _better _get married. And if I hear one more negative word out of your mouth, I'm going to get you like a spider monkey. You hear me?" We were nose to nose by now and I could smell his fear, see the beads of sweat sliding down his face. The only question: was he afraid of getting married or of me? He spoke finally in a very quiet voice.

"Is she nervous?"

I smiled gently and backed up. "Of course not," I laughed softly. "She's Alice. She wouldn't have said yes if she had any fears. She just _knows_."

He changed suddenly. "Then what are we waiting for? I want to get married!"

Emmett and Edward looked at me in amazement. "How did you do that?" they asked together as Jasper sprinted out the door.

I grinned proudly. "All in a day's work, amateurs." And then I sauntered out the door.

* * *

And Alice's wedding? Completely and utterly Alice. She had rented the space of the one cathedral in town, a beautiful church with big stain glassed windows and a gazebo out back. That's where they got married. Under the gazebo with rows of chairs on the lawn. It was a miracle it hadn't rained today, but Alice of course, knew it wouldn't.

I did trip going down the aisle. But what I hadn't considered is the fact that Emmett would be with me when it happened. So when I did fall, he scooped me up in his arms and carried me the rest of his way. Gotta love your brother sometimes, right? Though I think Alice told him to do that when it happened.

She walked down the aisle with Carlisle in her graceful, spritely way amongst roses of gold, red, and orange. The colors of passion she had said. She wore a simplistic white dress that fell just passed her knees, the end pluming out with tool. It was strapless but her veil was long enough to wrap around her shoulders. And her hair was curled around her face in adorable coils. She was a fairy angel and Jasper's expression was priceless as she approached him. No fear. No worries. Just timeless love and complete faith.

It was these moments that I cherished. These moments I loved. Forget hardships that helped you learn life lessons. Forget death and destruction and hopeless tears. That wasn't life. This, right here, true real love _in the flesh_, was what it was all about. As Edward grinned at me from his spot beside Jasper, I knew he was thinking the same thing.

* * *

A/N: Just...forget the bad parts and remember the good. And review. That's all I ask. Thank you.


	28. OK

A/N: You know, I think this was one of the hardest chapters to get out. Perhaps because of the stress of school or maybe it's the fact that this little fic here is ending soon. But here it is. Finally. Big sigh of relief. There should be one chapter left so stay tuned for that. Thanks for the reviews.

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Peace I'm out.

Songs: Singin' in the Rain (any version you wish)

Hey Soul Sister-Train

Here It Goes Again-OK Go (One of the most epic videos ever. Check it out.)

* * *

Chapter 29: OK

Sometimes, life really astounded me. Like the time when I found out I had a brother and Renee had been lying to me for eleven years. Or the time when I met a handsome stranger on an airplane and pretended to make out with him…_purely_ for the sake of helping out a new friend. And later, when this stranger and I confessed to each other the feelings we mutually shared.

There were other times too, like when my brother got me a teddy bear for Christmas because he'd thought I'd missed out on my childhood. Or the time that Alice had found an empty art studio for me to work in. The time the Cullen parents paid for my months in France. Or the time when Rosalie became my official sister. Each moment caught me off guard, not because of the surprise or good cheer it carried, but because they each affected me in unspeakable ways. And I'd never believed that I could be so lucky or that I could deserve something as wonderful as them and consider them my family.

But this?

This topped it all.

Because though the happiness was not directed at me, it was the definition of hilarious when she opened up the door. Had the same effect as those shocking moments, I'd say. Only better.

Alice was fat.

No not _phat._ Though, I'd agree with that too. Nope. Alice was _fat!_ And she was adorable and judging by her less than cheery demeanor, her hormones were kicking in right at this moment. "Hey Ali-"

"Yeah yeah yeah," she grumbled, gesturing for me to enter her and Jasper's house. I tried not to smile as she grouched about that Texas man forgetting her extra chunky peanut butter. "I mean, we've been married for two years. I've been…this way since for-fucking-_ever_! Why can't he get my cravings right?"

I patted her on the shoulder gently. "I'm sure he's been trying. This is his first time. Give him a break."

She turned on me viciously, tears in her eyes. "I knew you'd take his side! That is so like you. Sisters before Misters, Bella!"

I stepped back. "He's _your_ mister."

"Exactly!"

One thing about preggo Alice: conversations with her are like having conversations with the Mad Hatter. Pointless, senseless, and did I mention frightening?

"Right. Well, I'm glad we decided to do this. I think we all need a movie night. Rose will be here in a few minutes."

"Great. Just what I need. The hillbilly's sister and her stupid rock."

I shook my head, fighting the urge to laugh. Normally, Alice was as sweet as could be. Pushy, blunt, and sometimes offensive, but you could see her love as though it were a visible light near her heart. Now however, with Alice's perpetual pregnant mania, the entire group had to be exceedingly wary of her awkward state. She was two weeks late unfortunately, which made her even more…ahem… how do I say this and remain a lady? I'm not a lady? Right. Well, she was even more bitchy. And, for the first time, she'd get jealous of silly little things. Emmett proposed to Rose and Alice lamented the fact she'd never be married again. That was the night we found out she was preggers. And then Edward got me a puppy for V-day once—my adorable little Mozart—and Alice pouted. Jasper got her a kitten after that, and she seemed fine… until Rose and Em's wedding that _I_ got to plan. (Ha. _Got _to. That implies it was a privilege.) The entire time, Alice was on the verge of (happy) tears for her two friends…but then Emmett placed the "stupid rock" on Rosalie's hand and she flipped. "24 carats! _24! _What the crap, Jazz!"

Poor Jasper. He was Emmett's best man, but I don't think he was the best man in Alice's book. August came and everyone grew excited with the anticipatory birth. But the baby just wouldn't come. It was probably stuck in there due to all the peanut butter Alice was eating. What a vicious circle! Eating something you crave because of the tiny alien inside your body and the alien unable to come out _because _of what it makes you crave! How dreadful! The horror! The agony! The—

"Bella, I can tell you're being internally dramatic, but can you please stop and help a poor ailing pregnant woman get comfy?" Alice pleaded. Ooh. I hated the whine even more than the grumbles. And that was saying something!

"How on earth could you tell?" I asked, miffed at the interruption of my beauteous internal monologue and being called out on it.

"Because whenever it happens, that strange hazy, day-dreamy look crosses your face and you look like your about to profess your love to Romeo or proclaim you're dying like Catherine in _Wuthering Heights._"

"Hmph! Well then!" I tromped over to her and gently helped her sit on the couch, arranging the pillows just right so she wouldn't need to arrange them during the movie. "There you are, dearest. Is that better?"

She sent me a doubtful look at my thinly failed sarcasm. "Yes...thank you. And don't call me dearest!"

Ah to be appreciated!

A knock at the door announced me to another presence and I rushed to answer. Rose stood before me, triumphantly holding up a bag of movies from the rental store. "I got the classic chick flicks—_Love Story, An Affair to Remember, The Way We Were_—and then the more recent version of _Pride and Prejudice_. Also, _Hope Floats, Sixteen Candles, _and _Love Actually_. What do you think?"

"Damn, chick! This is incredible! OK...let's each pick one. But Ali should pick first since...well..._you_ know!"

"Right." Rosalie peered into the living room, then glanced at me. "How's she hanging today?"

"She's a little more...intuitive I'd say," I whispered.

"Hey quit talking about me and get in here, ladies!"

Rose stared. "She can hear through walls now?"

"Like I said, intuitive."

"That's not intuition. That's clairvoyance. _That's _fucking creepy."

And then we bravely, and probably very unwisely, stepped into the living room to watch movies with an irritated mama bear.

* * *

"Oh! This is my favoritist part!" Alice exclaimed, needlessly shushing us as Colin Firth took the screen and started proposing in horrible Portuguese. We laughed throughout his charming speech and Ali started tearing up. She'd been crying at the oddest moments. Completely dry through the entirety of her first choice (we let her pick two), _Hope Floats—_which happened to be the biggest tear-jerker of the evening—but crying during Elizabeth and Darcy's failed proposal and sister Mary's tragic piano playing. I had to say, in all the times I had seen _P&P,_ I had never shed a tear. Made me feel...heartless. But then I remembered Ali was a little funked up at the moment and not exactly controlling her emotions too well. Then she started bawling at the moment in _Affair to Remember_ during the affair! I couldn't believe it! The one time the movie is essentially happy and she cries? Pregnant women. God forbid I ever become one...I shudder to think! Wait...did I just jinx it? And now, here she was, crying through one of the _funniest_ parts of a movie! The lords of randomness, of whom I'm very much a believer in, must have been laughing their random asses off. So funny gents, _really_.

_Love Actually_ was wrapping up and the door suddenly opened grandly, the boisterous boys singing a rousing rendition of _Singin' in the Rain._ Why? Because they can I suppose, and because it was raining cats and dogs outside... What an interesting description that is! Cats and dogs. And in my opinion, not at all pleasant. Gives me the image of little cats and dogs falling from the sky and bouncing all over the place. Shudder.

I guess that's what we get being back in Forks again. Edward and I had rented a humble abode a few miles away from our sibling's houses, before we found some new place of residence, which with both of our relatively flexible careers, could be anywhere. He was a composer and piano instructor now and people recognized his name all across America. As for me, I painted in the studio down the street and sold my work whenever possible. It worked for us and was frighteningly close to the dreams we'd been dreaming since before we met each other. I guess you never know how terrifying your ambitions are until you're staring them in the face.

"Hello gorgeous," Emmett said, plopping next to Rose on the love seat and placing a kiss on her cheek.

Alice whimpered at the sight of her two friend's love and then turned away to look at the screen again. But the movie was over and suddenly she was burrowing her little head under my arm, resting on my stomach. "Make it end, Bella."

I smiled sympathetically. "It will be over soon. Just think what will happen when you have your little one here, wailing at the top of his lungs. At least you don't have to deal with that yet."

She closed her eyes. "Thanks. That helps _so_ much."

I looked up at Edward who was frowning at his sister. His eyes met mine and he shrugged, making his way over to me. "What can you do, I guess."

I giggled which made the pixie uncomfortable and she groused as she tried to situate herself again. Jasper approached the room very cautiously, a jar of peanut butter and a spoon held before him like a weapon. Quite slowly he stepped near his beloved wife and set down the food on the coffee table, then backed away as though she were a snake ready to bite. I hid my head on Edward's shoulder to muffle my giggles.

Alice glared at him and snatched the food away, but the minute she took a bite of her peanut butter, all was good again. "Sweet cherry blossoms, that is some good shit! It's fucking orgasmic!" She sighed. "Thank you, Jazzy." He breathed a sigh of relief and sagged in a chair.

"Anytime, darling."

"Is that going to be us someday?" I asked Edward sarcastically. I batted my eyelashes at him with false hope which made him snort and try to recover his humor with a fake cough.

The couple in question was not pleased. Alice pointed a stern finger at us. "Don't mock that which you do not understand. You don't even _want_ kids."

I looked at Edward. Edward looked at me. He grinned innocently at her. "Yes, but if we become desperate we'll just steal one of yours."

Her eye twitched. "Not on your life, brother. It's hell going through this torture and I'm reaping _all_ the benefits from it."

I shrugged. "And we can rub it in all we want. We get to be the fun relatives that the children will look up to, while you guys have to stick around and enforce all the rules."

"Uh-uh. No way. I'm going to be the fun parent!"

"What!" Jasper looked astonished. "No way. I am _not_ being the bad cop. Not in my job description."

Rosalie laughed at her brother. "I think the word 'father' implies at least a little bit of discipline."

Emmett shook his head. "I don't think so. Just try to be an excellent role model like Homer Simpson."

Edward groaned and looked at me with narrowed eyes. "Not more of him. _This_ one can't stop calling me Homie."

"Homer's hot," I replied, defending myself.

Rosalie blinked. "How do you work that out?"

"Come on," I laugh. "Three strands of hair, Pillsbury dough-boy figure, and a sweet little giggle. When I have illicit dreams of Homer Simpson, I think my subconscious is twisting Edward into that wonderful yellow hubby."

Edward shook his head. "No. _No_. If I have to be anyone, I'm Ned Flanders."

I scrunched up my nose. "Really? Why would you want to be him? He may have the abs, but his religious devotion is a little too much."

"Sinner!" Edward shouted, pointing a finger at me.

"_You_ corrupted me! _You_ deflowered me before marriage_. You're_ the reason I'm going to Hell!" I grinned, triumphantly.

"Ew." Emmett muttered.

"Hell yeah I am!" Edward replied, ignoring Em and high-fiving with Jasper. Smug bastard.

Alice groaned. "Why don't you two get married and be done with it. Then we don't have to hear more of Edward's insecurities about Homer Simpson."

This time Edward and I could not look at each other, because that particular topic had been a little touchy for the past year. Not his insecurities about Homer (though they were a little strange), but the marriage thing. Probably because he could never get it out right, or the timing correctly. Yes, he'd attempted before, but the man proposed to me while I was learning to drive stick for the first time. (Leave your double entendres for another day, people.) I mean who the hell does that? And the _one_ time _I_ tried to propose, Rosalie tackled me to ground and Emmett dragged my prostrate body into a room where Jasper and Alice explained proposing to the man was the same thing as castrating him, only less bloody. Seriously people? We're in the 21st century here! And how on earth did they even _know _I was proposing? We were in Colorado for an art exhibit and none of them wanted to come. I thought it would be the perfect time to pop the question, but no! Faces! And they _still_ refused to tell me how they knew.

So yeah. Marriage? An itchy topic we rarely discussed. And now here we sat, awkward, uncomfortable, in desperate need for an escape, and did I mention awkward? Jasper saved us, sensing the mood shift, and started talking about what they had been doing on the guys night out. Strip clubs? Poker? Sadly no. They had been roller skating. I don't even _want_ to know.

* * *

The ride home was suffocating in its cloying uncomfort. Normally we would crank up some song, usually one of those head-splinters that stuck in your head until you thought you'd die from its annoying repetition. It was a cathartic experience for us since we had songs stuck in our heads all the time. But with our marriage-dampened moods, we were grumbling messes of non-speech.

Why did it have to be that way? I wondered, turning to gaze at him. In the seven years we had been together, our lives had changed. It wasn't _us_ that changed though. I mean, he had gone through his depression from the whole car accident, but our own characters never changed. They were never questioned or altered. And once we cut the crap, got over ourselves, and confessed our fucking feelings, we were renewed, reinvigorated, rewarded with a constant force unattainable to many. Our love was not questioned beyond that point. Even the first time we had sex wasn't that big of a deal. Just another thing, another component that made our love what it was, another idea added to the a sentence, sentence enhancers and all that jazz. So why this? Why did marriage nag at our minds so much and make us chicken-shit to each other and ourselves?

Edward's appearance had changed since high school, too. He had constant five o'clock shadow and his shoulders were broader. I had prominent breasts and hips and was no longer the skinny little girl from Phoenix. He was a man and I was a woman. Someday—the inevitable someday, because we both knew we'd tie the knot—I would be _his _woman til death did we part. Maybe that was it. The inevitability. It was as though that moment on the plane had stripped us of what we had known, created facets in our lives we'd been previously oblivious to. I had only been fifteen then. I was young and I did not know what love could be, what it could do, what it could cause and how long it could last. But I _did_ feel it. And the moment I felt it, my life was signed off to a fate intertwined with his. That reason didn't sit well with me. Why should two little words be so complicated? We already knew. We already felt. Why did we shut it away and save it for a rainy day? It always rained in Forks.

"What's up, Bella?" Edward asked, raising an eyebrow and looking at my peripherally as he drove through the torrents of rain. I realized I'd been staring for a while and shook my head.

"Nothing. Just thinking about rain."

"Yeah?" He sighed. "I'm thinking about high school."

I nodded. "That too."

When we got home it was pretty late and we numbly dressed in pajamas and blindly searched for the bed in the dark of the room. We did not meet in the middle but turned facing away from the other, lost in our own thoughts, wondering why life had to be so complicated and why the person you felt closest to can seem like an ocean away when something's blocking the waters. I dreamed of water that night, water and grass and sparkles and confessions from the past.

When I awoke, the bed was empty, save for Mozart who had decided to climb into bed with me. Edward's shoes, beat up Chucks that he'd had for over five years, weren't there, his keys were not in their usual hook by the piano. And like a sixth sense, I knew where he had gone. We hadn't been back there in a while, not since leaving Forks for New York, and I wasn't sure how I knew. But that part didn't matter. We needed to return to the moments when we were brave, when our teenage selves had more balls then we did now, in our softening old age. I was still the same me, ready to take plunges and greet life with a triumphant smile...but in matters of the heart, I think I'd always be afraid. Yet my sixteen year old self was telling me to grow a pair and meet him where it had happened. Where the story transformed from that of unrequited love to happy ending. I needed to get my second happy ending.

I drove my rusted red truck which he hated and I loved. He put up with it though and I loved him even more for it. Don't tell the truck this, but I think I loved Edward more. He was there, of course, in our meadow and words whispered back to me from the trees, whispers of love and safety and yeah, maybe the inevitability of fate, but a comforting fate that would not shatter me, or us, or this fragile moment.

He smiled and waited for me to plop down beside him, leaning casually against a trunk of a gnarled tree. He had coffee. He had chocolate croissants. He knew me well. "Thank you."

"Of course." He waited some more and then he breathed in, slow and deep, and began. "So, I'm only going to ask this one more time, OK?"

"OK."

"Right. Well, I love you."

"OK."

"And you being here in my life, it's everything to me."

"OK."

"And you can't say anything about this being bad timing or try to steal this moment from me, because this time it's for real Bella. It's not a flash back to when we were teens and couldn't deal with this shit. Because we can now and we've been together a long time and nothing is going to change that. OK?"

"OK."

"So Bella. Will you marry me, please? With cherries on top?

"OK."

He grinned and laughed and wrapped an arm around my shoulders and everything was right again. Just like that. And I felt stupid and ridiculous that the sickening spell could be broken that easily, but way too happy to care. "Do you think you can say anything other than OK?"

"OK." He waited. "Um...I love you, too?"

He nodded. "Pretty good. Lacked conviction, but the sentiment was appreciated."

"I love you, too!" I cheered. And then I was mauling him and somehow the food and drink was forgotten and the trees surrounded us in our newly engaged play of love.

And then we both got a text from Alice. You can guess what it said, right? Two magic little words.

**Baby coming.**

* * *

A/N: Yeah. I know right? Kind of forced. Kind of disjointed. But there were some fun parts. Tell me what you think and stuff. OK? OK.


	29. An Alien's Last Joke

A/N: Oh my goodness! The world must be ending because this little fic here is officially complete. Such an arduous adventure it has been and now the last sentences are being typed and the final periods added. This was my first story here on fanfiction and it was certainly an interesting experience. If you made it this far, thank you. Special shout out to AcceptableFormOfSchizophrenia who's been here with me since the beginning. You are the Alice to my Jasper and the Fred to my George, chick. Always remember that.

Disclaimer: _You're _still_ writing? I thought this whole thing was over._

In your dreams.

_Ugh. Why must we do this every time!_

Now you just sound like an old man. Did you take your pills this morning?

_Whatever. Just say it and let me get back to my bran flakes._

I don't own Twilight.

_And stay off my lawn!_

Songs: Can't Stop-Maroon 5

The End-My Chemical Romance

* * *

Chapter 30: An Alien's Last Joke

_This is probably coming as a surprise to you. It was to me. I just...realized all the mistakes I've made in life, all the times I screwed up and never thought to pick-up the pieces...well, they all affected you. Of course I knew this then too, I just... Jesus. I'm terrible at writing. So I'm hoping you could call me. My number is 555-361-5622. I'm still married to Phil and we're living in Jacksonville, Florida. We would love it if you could visit, but I understand if you don't want to. If you decide to come, you can bring anyone you want. Anyways, call me. I'd love to catch up._

_Always,_

_Renee._

This is the email that greeted me on Monday the 21st of August, twenty four days before my wedding. I wondered why she chose now to contact me after such long silence. She didn't even say goodbye to me when I left. She'd been going to one of Phil's games or something. I couldn't really remember. What I _did_ remember was her absence, and though at the time many things had eclipsed that (handsome strangers for one), it had still stung to know that the tedious relationship I'd had with Renee was really over.

When I had been younger, it was a little different. Of course, Renee was not idyllic or quintessential as far as mothers go, but she had a lot of beliefs and romantic ideas about life and love which she passed on to me. She would stay up late with me some nights, creating her own fairy tales that made me dream big, and then on weekends we'd go shopping in down town and get new dresses and make-up and ice cream. And _damn_, that ice cream was good.

Anyway, she started drifting away from me after a while, around the time I turned eight, whether from some great love affair that just ended or she finally realized I was not the daughter she thought I would be. I missed those shopping days, the fairy tales and ice cream, because those were the little hints I had that maybe, just maybe, Renee loved me. I still had no proof, and from the moment I left her house I had chosen to make peace with that.

But this email sat sublimely in front of me, the possibilities endless, open ended questions about the motives behind her silence, her indifference, only an email away from being answered. So I called her. And she answered. And I briefly wondered if I should have told someone about this, Edward or Emmett, but I knew this was my thing that I needed to take care of on my own. Because back then, my own was all I had.

"Renee?"

"_Bella? Bella! Oh I'm so happy you called. You got my email."_

"Yes I..." It was weird hearing her voice, a voice of the past like the echo in the mountains, vague and haunting; it made my nose prickle and my throat ache with an unbidden emotion I was certainly not prepared for. "I did," I continued in a smaller voice. "It was...surprising, to say the least."

"_I figured it would be."_ Her own voice was quiet too, quiet and somber, an un-Renee sort of voice.

"_Did you _want_ to visit or..."_ I didn't answer at first and she must've been worried because the next thing I knew, she was off on a wild tangent with much more gusto, much more passion, and she sounded like herself again. _"Of course you don't want to. I expected that. Phil said not to get my hopes up. I mean, after everything that happened. Everything I put you through! I don't even know what happened to me, but the next thing I know, it's over five years later and I'm in Florida with my husband and I'm __thinking 'Renee, what did you _do?_' I understand Bella, I do. You probably hate me, but I—"_

"No, I don't." I finally said.

"_You don't?"_ She was shocked. She was hopeful. She was Renee.

"I did once...when I found out about Emmett. But my life is good now. I'm happy. And if things had been different back then, different between us, well, I don't know if I'd _be_ this happy."

"_Happy,"_ she breathed and I think she was smiling, I think she may have even been crying.

"Happy," I agreed. "And I think it would be good for me to come. But I'll have to talk it over with someone. I _can_ bring someone, right?"

"_Absolutely,"_ she said, a little curiosity mingled in her tone. I was glad she refrained from asking questions because I was not in the mood to answer them. She laughed. _"Hell, you can bring as many people as you want. Phil's loaded. W__e just bought a mansion with twenty rooms!"_

How very Renee. It sounded exactly like what she needed, exactly like what she had wanted and could never attain. She was lucky and I guess she knew it. "That's nice," I said finally. "When should I get the tickets for?"

"Oh, don't worry about that. Phil will take care of it. They'll probably be for in a week or two. Just email me how many you need."

"OK. Thank you."

"No, thank _you_. This means everything, Bella. Really. I'm sorry. For everything. I'm trying to change. Things can be different."

"OK." I didn't know if I should believe her. I didn't know _what_ to do. But I knew that I needed to see her and that calling her had been a good idea. For now, that was enough.

"And Bella? If you talk to Emmett, tell him I'm sorry, too."

* * *

Edward would return home from his piano lessons every weeknight around eight. He was a piano teacher at a music studio in Port Angeles, and though we weren't used to commuting or distance, we made it work. It was nice having something outside each other to be passionate about, to deal with by ourselves and create things perhaps _inspired_ by the other, but blissfully away from the other. He had his music and I had my art and we had each other. It was a good sort of away, an away that made us happy to see each other again.

So at eight o'clock, Edward would open the door and he'd be singing some song that I'd have to guess the artist of. Then we would engage in a kiss exclusive to the mood we were in. If I missed him, it would be a slow and yearning sort of exchange that reminded me he was, in fact, there. If he missed me, it was usually a lot rougher and intense like he couldn't get enough and nothing would _be_ enough until we were in bed, undressed, under the covers. If I was excited about something, I'd attack him, my legs around his waist and hands in hair, trying to press my joy into him. If he was happy, it would be like VJ Day, him bending me down to plant a loud smack upon my surprised, and very pleased, lips. Sometimes it was a distracted, no nonsense type of kiss, an 'it's nice you're here because I have something to say' sort of kiss.

Today was a no nonsense type of kiss, because I was certainly distracted and certainly had something to say and...I was a little worried. Edward would most likely not approve of this whole thing. Why? Because he was a cruel sadistic boyfriend who would not let me go anywhere without getting his permission, for I was his and his alone! Ha. Ha ha. Yeah. Right. That might be a hot role play during the sex but that wasn't it. No, the real reason why he wouldn't approve was because he knew what I'd been through. And he hated it. Everything he did now, for me, _to_ me, always thinking about me, was to bring a happiness, a humor, to my life that had previously been neglected. Edward was good. And he tried to protect me from everything out there that wasn't good. He found it his responsibility and his failure if anything bad entered my life, and while I loved him for it, life wasn't always about the good. Sometimes it was about falling and tripping and stumbling along (which I did plenty of the time) and learning how to get back up. I had been dormant for a while about my trials with Renee. I had never gotten back up. This was the time to do that. But Edward wouldn't see it that way.

"_Can't believe I could think that she would just follow me everywhere I go, I just wrestle with you in my dreams and wake up making love to a pillow..."_

I was sitting on the couch reading when he came home, which was certainly normal, but when I saw his face I was feeling crappy and guilty and kind of doomed. I bit my lip and then tried to smile. "Um...Jason Mraz?"

He blinked and furrowed his brow at me. "Are you kidding?"

I squinted my eyes, taking a deep breath. "Is that wrong? Huh. Is it John Mayer?"

He sat on the couch and I gave him my no nonsense kiss which was a simple peck, very chaste, and probably very disappointing. Yesterday when I had mixed my colors _just_ right and produced the best shade of purple ever, I almost tackled him to the ground with my smooches of smitten success. How's _that_ for alliteration? "Bella, you never guess my songs wrong. What's up?"

I grimaced. "I might have done something today that you won't like."

He smiled slightly. "What, did you get your belly button pierced or something? Cause I gotta tell you, dear, I'm not entirely opposed to the idea. It's kind of hot."

I laughed lightly, a little more relaxed. "No. That's not it. I um...I got an email today... From my mother."

And there it was, ladies and gentleman. There was that expression of tightly restrained emotion. His jaw was clenched and his brow was furrowed and he was no longer thinking of belly button piercings. If only... "And what did it say?" he asked, eying me warily.

I licked my lips. "She said she was sorry for everything and wanted me to call her."

His nostrils flared. "And did you?"

"I did. It was...good."

"It was _good?_" He was shocked and aggravated, running a hand through his hair to further dishevel it. "How in the hell was it _good?_"

I shrugged. "I don't know. It was nice, I guess. To hear from her. To know that I still had a mother out there."

He rolled his eyes. "You _do _have a mother, Bella. Esme is—"

"Kind and sweet and more than a mother to me than Renee ever was. I know that. But Edward, this is more than that. This is more than having surrogate parents and surrogate siblings and a future husband on the way."

He narrowed his eyes. "OK... I'm sensing I haven't heard the whole story."

"Well...she wants me to visit her. In Jacksonville." Stare at the couch. Stare at the coffee table. Stare at the ceiling. Stare at anything that does not have ridiculously pretty bronze hair and ridiculously expressive green eyes and a ridiculously protective temper.

"_What?_" He lurched out off the seat and stared at me and I stared at anywhere _but_ him.

"Yeah..."

"Please tell me you said no." I was silent and he groaned in frustration, sinking to the chair opposite me.

"You can't go back to her Bella. You can't be _serious._"

I sighed, knowing this wasn't going to be easy but feeling suddenly tired. "Look. I know that she was kind of awful, but isn't life about second chances?"

"Not for people who have treated you like shit. They don't deserve it."

I smiled. "Well that's sweet but not very realistic."

"I don't _want_ to be realistic. But fine. Try this. What do you _think_ is going to happen? That she's suddenly going to become the mother you always wanted?"

"Of course not."

"You'll have another Alice or Rose to pal around with?"

"Come on, Edward. You know that's not it."

"Then what? What? What could you possibly want from that woman?"

Suddenly I felt small and fifteen, back to the girl I had been but less than that. A shell of her, because back then I had thought I knew everything, thought I was invincible, the black knight from Monty Python who could take anything, even when people cut my limbs off. I had since learned that living life meant you knew even less, meant you sometimes were too weak to get up without the help of someone else. "We can't all have an Esme and Carlisle, Eddie. We can't all have a secured childhood with constant people, come from two people who love us no matter what. I have everything I need in life, I have you and the group and the parents. And I'm lucky. But sometimes I wonder...why I wasn't enough."

It was silent for a minute and I stared stubbornly at my fuzzy, warm socks. They were kind of awesome sauce, green and blue striped things mixed with hot pink, yellow, and purple polka-dots. And they were infused with lotion! Like walking on rainbows, my friend. Take _that_ Fredric O'Piggle!

Suddenly I was being attacked. Where is the pepper spray when you need it? But it was only Edward of course, so it didn't matter too much. His arms were holding me, secure and warm and his eyes were intent, locked with my own, loving, soft. I blushed under the gaze, which was probably ridiculous after everything we'd been through, but the man was so damn sweet and caring that I felt naked underneath him, bare beneath him...even in my sweats and rainbow socks.

"You have always been enough, Bella." His whisper was quiet and genuine and I felt beautiful...even in my sweats and rainbow socks. Bare and beautiful. Only Edward. Only Edward could make me feel that way. I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against his shoulder. He sighed and buried his head into the crook of my shoulder. "You are more than enough, Bella. You're everything. And if anyone can't see that... They aren't worth it." It was quiet for a beat or two. "But I get it. I think. I mean, you're right. I don't know what it's like not to have that unconditional love. I don't know what I would do without it. But I support you. I'm OK with it."

"You do?" I asked quietly, hopefully. "You are?"

He smiled slightly, shifting so his legs rested to my side and tangled with my own. "Yes. I can't deny you anything, can I? But I have one condition."

"Name it."

"I'm going with you."

"Well, of course."

"And—"

"There's more?"

"Well, yeah. Isn't there always?"

"You said _one_ condition."

"You were already planning on taking me anyway."

I huffed. "Fine. Name your _second_ condition."

He fixed me with a stern stare. "The others are coming, too."

"_What?_"

"Yep. Don't fight it, love. You said this was bigger than the group, but without them we wouldn't be here. We need them."

I sighed, taking this in. It would be nice to have them there, even if it _was_ kind of selfish.

"And before you say anything, this is not selfish. They would want to be there and Alice wouldn't let you leave without her anyway. Not with all the wedding plans to take care of."

That was certainly true. I shivered at the idea of telling Alice I'd be taking off three weeks before the wedding to visit long lost family. She'd shove the veil up my ass and I'm not kidding.

"Fine."

"Thank you." He kissed my nose and we settled for the evening, which meant watching a bad movie on TV and sucking face when we got bored. He was doing some lovely things to my neck when I realized it.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, slapping my hand to my forehead.

"What?" he asked, very distracted with his current task. _Men._

"Maroon 5!"

"What?" he asked again, finally stopping to look at me with incredulous eyes.

"That's who you were singing."

He nodded, smirking. "Very good. Ten points to Gryffindor."

Hmph. Well then. Jerk. Phrase-stealing jerk. But what a lovely jerk he was! Especially when he continued doing those lovely things to my neck. Ten points to Gryffindor, indeed.

* * *

I boarded the plane about to send us back to Forks after our week in Florida and laughed. "Eddie, look at this!"

"What?" he followed my gaze and grinned because we had the seats in the very back that didn't recline, just like in the beginning. "Should we reenact the moment, or just revel in it?"

"I don't know," I replied slowly. "I'm a tad different from my teenage self—"

"I'll say," he murmured, grabbing me around the waist. He was very firmly pressed against me as wewalked down the aisle and let me tell you, I certainly felt like a woman.

"I may not deliver as great a performance. And you're not as emo. Might shatter our romantic notions about the moment."

"I'm plenty emo. You're just used to it now."

"Can we move it along here? I'm not getting any younger!" Emmett whined. I swear that boy hadn't changed a bit since I came to live in Forks…. I take that back, he _had _changed. He was even more immature.

"Dude, this is like where me and Eddie-boy met. We have to take a trip down memory lane here."

Emmett blinked. He glanced at the plane, he glanced at the seats we would be sitting in, and then he glanced at me. "Here? Really? That's just depressing. And Edward looks totally pale in these lights. How did you dig that shit?"

I smiled. "It wasn't hard."

"Actually, I was _very_ hard," Edward disagreed and I blushed and stared directly ahead.

"Oh Jesus. I'm letting you marry her, Ed. Why do you have to go and make me regret it?"

"And I have to agree with him," Alice chirped behind Emmett. "You look ass-ugly in this lighting Edward."

He frowned at me. I frowned at him. He looked just as dazzling as he always did. And I told him so. "And my opinion is the only one that matters," I told him, righteously.

"Agreed," he said and placed a lovely kiss upon my lips.

"Jesus!" Emmett exclaimed, shielding his eyes.

* * *

"Hello!" I said in a cheery voice once I took my seat, "and welcome to the most comfy seats on the plane! Seriously, man, this is butt heaven."

Edward tried not to smile and cocked an eyebrow. "Butt heaven. How poetic."

I nodded seriously. "Move over Shakespeare."

He shook his head, laughing. "Alright dear, I give. This is too surreal."

"Told ya. Nothing can compete with that moment."

"You're right, hon."

"And I always will be."

"For as long as we both shall live."

"Oh my God!" Rosalie muttered, taking the seat in front of us. "Shouldn't you guys be saving the sappy shit for after the wedding. You only have two weeks. Try to hold out until your honeymoon."

"Honeymoon!" Edward and I cheered, slapping five and attracting the attention of several others on the plane.

"Must you do that every time?" asked Jasper, cringing when the scary biker dude glared at him for disrupting his sleep. But seriously, who sleeps before lift-off?

"Hell yeah!" I crowed. "The weddings fine, whatevs. Lovely and loving and we'll get tons of stuff. But come _on_, the honeymoon is our reward for making it through all the festivities."

"We can go anywhere!" Edward pitched in.

"Do anything!"

"Do each other."

"Really Edward!" Emmett exclaimed. "You have no idea how much that bums me out."

"Oh make out with Rose or something and leave us alone. You're just jealous married folk who will never again witness the wonders of honeymoon," I snapped.

"Honeymoon!" Edward cheered and we high-fived again. Then he frowned. "This feels weird."

"Why?"

He grinned. "Cause, you should be here." And he pulled me into his lap, just like old times.

I shook my head at him. "This is weird, you know. I feel sort of ridiculous."

"That's what you're _supposed_ to feel! We're in love, we're young, we have our whole lives to feel exactly like this."

"Great. Perpetual idiocy. Count me in."

He nodded solemnly. "Now. Tell me. How was the talk with Renee? You haven't said anything about it."

"That's because I knew you would blow your lid if you heard anything you didn't like. And she may live in a mansion, but I don't think anyone can ignore the sound of Edward Cullen's wrath."

"Bella," he warned and I glanced around, noticing the others were listening as well, so I dived into my tale without further ado.

* * *

"He's kind of great, Bella. They all are," Renee said, quietly. We were sitting on her big-ass deck, watching the boys throw around a football and Alice and Rose cheering them on. I use that phrase lightly. They were suntanning in their bikinis, which only distracted Emmett and Jasper (suckers!), allowing Edward to pretty much dominate the game (that's right, bitches!). Anyway, I had personally opted out of the suntan experience, because though sun was lovely and whatever, I did not find it at all appealing to show that much skin, and trust me, I have sunbathed before and nothing happens. Seriously. The sun must hate me for how pale I am. For me, sunbathing hardly works, but sun_burning _works entirely too well. Just call me Larry the Lobster. I'm sure we'd have much in common, given the chance to meet.

I smiled at Renee, glancing at her through my epic sunglasses that were bright pink. Whoever invented big obnoxious sunglasses was a certifiable genius, I think. Given the amount of people wearing them in Florida, they were probably reaping the benefits as we speak. "Yes. They're everything."

The vacation was kind of strained, as I knew it would be. A trillion gay babies must have been born after all the awkwardness of introducing my pals to the woman who had made my childhood miserable. Drat Edward for making them come! This was the first moment the group had put their guard down and let me actually talk to her, and we only had two days left before going back.

She half-smiled, as though thinking the same thing. "The little one, Alice, she gives me death glares every time I enter a room."

I tried not to laugh and nodded in fake-sympathy. "That does sound like her. Aly's my best friend and she's freakishly protective. So don't cross her."

"The only thing that made her stop was when her husband came in and told her to relax—"

"Gotta love Jasper. He's actually the only really sane one in the group."

"And then he gave me the, I'm-watching-you sign as he backed out of the room."

OK, I had to laugh at that.

Renee turned to look at me with wide blue eyes. "And I'm gonna be honest, Bella. His sister terrifies me. She's like a momma bear protecting her cub. If I so much as glance at you, she pretty much snarls and growls."

I glanced at Rose affectionately. "She's kind of always been that way. Especially with me since I was the last one to join the group and the most...innocent. She's the big sister I never had." I paused for a beat and glanced back at Renee. "And how's Emmett been?" I kind of knew the answer. I kind of knew how they _all_ would be, but Emmett was the most worrisome really, because he was as much Renee's kid as I was, without the...ah..._privilege_ of knowing her.

Renee sighed. "He'll never forgive me. And I certainly don't expect him to. I know _I_ can't." She stopped and took in a deep breath. "He won't really talk to me. Did he even _want _to come?"

I licked my lips, wondering how I should phrase it. "Yes he did. But mostly to pr—"

"To protect you," she finished. "Yes. I understand. But, you know, the worst of them is Edward."

"What?" I stared at her, brow furrowed, and yeah, maybe a little ticked because Edward had been a saint the entire time. He was polite and cordial to Renee and the only one out of all the group to actually engage in conversation with her.

She laughed at my expression. "Oh Bella, don't get me wrong. He's perfect for you. He's kind of perfect in general. I don't know how you managed to land your own Phil. It took me _years_ to find mine! I'm sort of jealous."

"So how is Edward the worst?"

Renee pondered a moment, watching Edward laugh and shake his head at something vulgar Emmett was saying. "He's so guarded, like he's just waiting for me to mess up and hurt you. Whenever I'm around, he always has to have you close in his arms. He's like a human snuggie!"

I laughed outright, shaking my own head at the thought, and then I looked up, caught his gaze and grinned at him. He smiled back, somewhat cautiously, and I knew that the entire time he had been playing with the guys, he had also been keeping an eye on us. It was always a dream to have such a great man love me and everything, but sometimes his protectiveness was exhausting. It took every ounce of my patience to get him to agree to let me have at least _one_ moment with Renee alone. And trust me, I know how weird it sounds, having to get your fiance's permission to hang out with your mother. It was like some strange alternate universe. (But hey, this is fanfiction! It works.) I took a deep breath and glanced at her, biting my lip. "We're uh...getting married. Soon."

"Oh?" she asked, with an air of nonchalance.

"Yes," I murmured. "In two weeks."

She stared at me. "Wow. That _is _soon."

I smiled. "Well...yes and no. I've known him for while."

"So you certainly aren't rushing into anything."

"No. I'm not." I didn't know why this was such an uncomfortable topic for me. It wasn't like I was inviting her or asking for her blessing, but I suppose it was just a different sort of tragedy when you told the person you came from, 'hey, I'm getting hitched, maybe I'll send you a postcard during from the honeymoon.' And I suppose it also had to do with the fact that Renee had had so many fleeting relationships over the years that any subject relating to the 'm-word' seemed taboo. And...maybe, I was a little guilty for not asking her to come, too.

"Well then, I offer you my best wishes," she said with a small smile, and I knew Emily Gilmore, for one, would be proud of her. "And Bella?"

"Yes?" I asked, kind of relieved it had been that easy and kind of relieved in general. Once I returned to Forks, everything could begin anew, just like last time I'd left her.

"I want you to know, I'm sorry for everything. I was selfish and not at all ready to be a mother."

"I know," I nodded, glancing down, not really needing to hear this.

"And it fills me with even more regret that I didn't get to know you. That I wasn't there. Because you are the epitome of amazing. You are remarkable and it's really not a surprise that all these people take such good care of you. You deserve it." She stared right at me, almost to assure me she wasn't lying. It was the most unsettling, surreal experience I had ever had.

I nodded, attempting to keep the silly tears at bay. "Thank you," I murmured and for now, no matter what really happened, if for some bizarre reason she decided to move to Forks to be near me (Edward would_ love_ that) or she decided to remain as nonexistent as before, I had the answer to my most important question. Did Renee ever love me? Perhaps when I was a child but no, not really. The real question was, _could_ she have ever loved me? And if her confession wasn't answer enough, I didn't know what would be. Had Renee been a devoted mother, she would have cared for me fiercely, and she would have loved me. But I think, and I glanced at Edward, Em and Rose, Jasper and Alice, I think I had everything I needed and my journey was officially coming to a close.

* * *

"That's it?" Emmett asked, almost disappointed. "She just analyzed us and complimented you?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Well, what did you expect?"

"I don't know... Try real tears, epic apologies, earnest forgiveness."

"Really Em? My life isn't a soap opera."

He chuckled. "Nah. I get it. And I guess I'm sorry, too. But really, I sort of hate her for what she did to you. And she's right. I won't ever forgive her for that. I _am_ sorry I couldn't be the supportive brother and shit. She just rubs me the wrong way." He shuddered.

I laughed. "You were perfect, Em. Just being there. And I dig you for it, man."

Emmett grumbled something along the lines of, "Well, I love you. Why wouldn't I?" It was sort of touching.

Rosalie grinned and leaned over to hold my hand. "Thanks for saying what you did. You really are my sister, Bella."

"Oh, I know. And it's true. You were the one who gave me 'the Talk.' You're the reason I seduced Eddie and we lost our virginity back in high school."

"Hey!" the boys crowed, simultaneously.

"You're my sister!" Emmett exclaimed, feeling betrayed by his wife.

"That's _my_ sister!" Jasper yelled, feeling disgusted that Rose would do such a thing. Scary biker dude shot him another glare and Jazz smiled sheepishly.

"I've never felt so violated," Edward murmured, but he was grinning at this tidbit of information. As far as he knew, our first time had been entirely mutual. Ha. Ha ha. Silly, oblivious, and hormonal boy.

"True," Rose agreed with me and sank back into her seat, reading a magazine.

"OK, Bella. On an emotional level, where are you at?" Jasper asked, taking my seat so he wouldn't have to sit by scare biker dude. He looked at me warmly with a hint of concern.

I smiled and hugged him. "You know what, Mr. Shrink. I kind of love you."

He chuckled, kissing my head. "Love you too, kid. But that wasn't my question."

"Honestly, I'm totally fine. Everything's over. _And _just beginning. It's sort of perfect."

"Great!" exclaimed Alice in a rush, taking a perch on Jasper's lap. I was sure the flight attendant would not like the seat-shifting very much. She plopped her heavy wedding planner book in my lap. "Because you and I still have some unfinished business to attend to, girl. You're getting married! _Married!_"

"I'm aware, crazy pixie. And how on earth did you fit this into your carry-on bag?"

She looked at me in a very creepy fashion. "I have my ways."

"OK. Hold up." Edward said, closing the book before Alice could begin her big wedding rant (try saying that three times fast). "I have to do something with Bella before we land and now's are opportunity, so wedding prep will have to wait."

I looked at him, confused. "What are we doing?"

He smirked and stood up, taking my hand. "Well, there's this crazy stalker who's been watching us this entire time and she won't leave us alone. There's only one thing we can do to get her off our backs."

My eyes widened in realization. "Really?"

"Yep."

"What are you doing?" Alice asked, suspiciously.

Edward stared at her and they had some strange sibling communication. She almost smiled at him and then turned to me. "Fine. But this is only because I love you guys."

"Love you too, Aly!" I said, and then Agent Cherry-Cheeks and Agent Pretty Boy went off to fulfill Make-Out Mission Part II. Only this time, we really _did _make-out in the bathroom. Hell yeah!

* * *

**_Epilogue_**

_Now I'm old. Old and aged and graying. Life has passed in vibrant colors and timeless shades and now it is time to put the pen down, time to rest. Whatever preconceived notions I'd had about the future when I'd left Phoenix, could never have matched my wildest expectations of what I would find. I ended up in a magical world of singing and Edward and the Cullens: my own personal Neverland because really, I never grew-up. Or rather, I never lost the hope that goodness and love could exist, even when I had known a life virtually opposite in every aspect. Regardless, this alien will soon enter her outer space because for now, her humor is all used up._

* * *

A/N: The End? I was once told it was unprofessional to add that at the end of a story, but I think it's the only thing that works. So. There it is. The End. And thanks for reading._  
_


End file.
